Never Look Back
by WoofumsPup
Summary: If you worry...you will die. It's a harsh life being a soldier. The bonds you make with your comrades can be broken within seconds. Three months after the death of his wife Heine tells the story of her life to Athrun. Heinexoc R&R Chapter 34 is up
1. Chapter 1

Never Look Back Chapter 1

~ Never Look Back~

---

So I'm back with a new story…The story is called _Never Look Back. _It's a Heine x OC story. Another story to my tragedy series (Gundam). I'm sorry about the OC stories…I make a lot don't I?

I do not, will not, and could not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny anything relating to them. BUT I do own my OCs and it would be great if you asked me first before using them!!!

I don't know exactly what Athrun and Heine talked about while they went out for a drink. But does anyone know.

---

"Athrun, why did you want to go out for a drink with me?" Heine asked as they sat atop of two bar stools.

"U-h, no reason in particular," Athrun answered trying to avoid his question.

"Is it to avoid Ms. Lacus?" Heine asked with a chuckle.

"N-No not exactly," Athrun lied after they ordered two drinks.

"Then why are we here?" Heine asked stealthily.

"I guess to talk," Athrun replied taking a drink of his beer. Heine chuckled softly twirling the liquid content in the glass. _Ayame…you left me too quickly, _he thought looking into the swirling liquid.

"What's so funny commander?" Athrun asked looking up at Heine.

"I always told myself to never look back but now…it's getting harder," Heine answered.

"How is it getting harder?" Athrun asked becoming slightly interested in Heine's dilemma.

"How can I look forward when I can't get out of the past? I lost one of my men and my fiancée. I guess she's really my wife. She could never drink alcohol. The first sip made her tipsy, the second made her woozy, and the third she was flat out drunk! It was amazing…you would think a coordinator would have a bigger alcohol tolerance than she did," Heine expressed in a sorrowful chuckle.

"I'm sorry," Athrun said sorrowfully.

"It's not your fault. Don't be sorry. Before she died my wife told me that she was always scared of dying alone on the battlefield and she was happy to die in my arms. It was something she always wanted to do," Heine replied placing his head in his hands. _Ayame, my turtle dove what happened? Why could it have been me? _Heine thought trying to imagine his lover. An awkward silence came over the two soldiers.

"How did she die?" Athrun asked swallowing softly not knowing how he would react.

"Every time I bring her up, Ayame, everyone is obsessed about how she _died _but not about how she _lived_," Heine answered looking up at Athrun.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you," Athrun answered.

"You didn't offend me. I think I should tell you how she lived before how she died," Heine answered taking a drink of his beer.

"You don't need to go through all of the trouble. If it's a hard topic to talk about that is," Athrun answered uncomfortably.

"She knew how to play hard to get well. It almost made her irresistible and I was always mesmerized by her presence. When I first met her…" Heine began before placing his head in his hands.

"Please you don't need to do that. If it's too hard, you don't have to tell me anything," Athrun answered trying to calm him down.

"No you asked. If you wanted to know then I'm going to tell you Athrun," Heine began, "When I first met her I was getting transferred to a new ship and so was she. All the pilots were to meet in one room to get our rooming assignments. At that time I wasn't sure what was wrong with her but she was freezing cold. So I said…

---

"Do you want my coat?" Heine asked softly leaning over towards the petite woman. The shaking green haired woman looked up at Heine before shaking her head no.

"I-I'm f-f-fine," she muttered rubbing her bare arms gently.

"Where's your coat?" Heine asked looking at the other soldiers around the room.

"O-Oh…th-they d-didn't l-let m-me gr-grab i-it whe-when the-they ca-called u-us," she answered as Heine moved towards her.

"That's horrible! By the way my name is Heine Westenfluss," Heine answered.

"My n-name i-is Aya-Ayame H-Honda," the green haired girl answered.

"Do you want me to wrap my arm around you? You'll be warmer," Heine expressed scooting closer to her. Hesitantly she shook her head as Heine calmly wrapped his left arm around her left shoulder.

"Tha-Thank y-you," Ayame answered leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Anytime," Heine answered as he began to unzip his uniform jacket.

"Wha-What are y-you d-doing?!" Ayame asked scooting away from him. A look of horror graced her face as he came closer to her. _What is with this creep?! _Ayame thought as he beckoned her closer.

"Come back. I was just going to wrap this around you. You're still very cold," Heine answered removing his coat. "It will lose all its heat if I don't wrap it around you."

"Jeez, kid stop hitting on the woman! IT'S obvious she wants me!" a soldier spat placing a hand on Ayame's shoulder.

"I d-don't wa-want y-y-you or hi-him! B-B-But I wi-will t-t-ta-ake He-Heine's co-comfort," Ayame answered returning to Heine's arms. He wrapped his coat around her before enclosing her in his arms. Within a few short minutes Ayame was cuddling closer to him for warmth.

"Why don't you rest your eyes? You seem really tired," Heine suggested laying her head down on his shoulder. She gave a soft nod as she tried to calm her shivering body. Ten minutes later Ayame was fast asleep in his arms as he moved hair out of her face. _I thought the glasses she was wearing were fakes but they're real! _Heine thought trying to connect the dots. He removed them slowly before clipping them on his shirt.

"Heine why did you take interest in this girl?" a soldier asked with golden brown hair.

"Kane, do you have a problem with her?" Heine asked rubbing Ayame's back.

"Well you know…she's kind of a pain…I mean…look at her glasses! How can you be a coordinator with glasses!" Kane answered as many of the other men nod their head in agreement. Ayame shifted in her sleep as her shaking ceased.

"Seriously?! Are you guys really that shallow?!" Heine retaliated.

"Gene wise we are all perfect. I wonder what went wrong with her," Kane muttered.

"If coordinators are SOOOOO perfect then I'm a natural!" Ayame answered in a tired voice. The room became quiet as Heine laid her head back down on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about this. I can handle it. You just go back to sleep," Heine cooed as she closed her eyes again. Within minutes she was fast asleep as the commanding officer and second in command entered the room. The soldiers rose to their feet and stood at attention. To the best of his ability Heine stood at attention slinging Ayame's limp body in his arms.

"At ease," Commander Bagley instructed seeing Heine struggle with Ayame. The pilots sat down in their seats again.

"We are pleased to see that there are an** equal **number of pilots. We will be placing all of you in rooms of two," second in command Lt. Commander Baker informed.

"Excuse me sir," Heine piped looking down at Ayame.

"All questions will be answered at the end," Lt. Commander Baker snapped shooting a death glare at Heine. _Sure there are an equal number of pilots but one pilot is a girl! She can't room with any of these horny guys!_ Heine thought as Lt. Commander Baker pulled out a sheet of paper. Commander Bagley took the paper from his second in command before adjusting it to eye level.

"James Edwards and Christopher Abbot quarter 1023, Adam Akshar and Jaime Cherry quarter 1024, Masato Suzuki and Lance Cody quarter 1025, Chad Wei and Kane Sasuki quarter 1026, and Momoru Honda and Heine Westenfluss room 1027. Are there any questions?" Commander Bagley asked eyeing the crowd of soldiers.

"Yes, sir what are we going to do with her?" Heine asked waking up Ayame. She sat up sheepishly rubbing her head gently. The men in the room stiffened quickly feeling the tension in the air.

"Her? There are only men in here! What's your name boy?!" Lt. Commander Baker barked not believing in Heine.

"Heine Westenfluss," Heine answered as Ayame moved to removed Heine's uniform coat revealing her feminine figure.

"If that's true then you're rooming with Momoru Honda," Commander Bagley informed.

"Momoru Honda is my brother, sir," Ayame said gently. She yawned sheepishly before looking back at Heine.

"What's your name?! And no one gave you permission to speak," Lt. Commander Baker ordered.

"Ayame Honda sir," Ayame answered taking her glasses from Heine.

"It seems like we have a problem here…All the quarters for the women are taken up. For now you'll just have to room with Heine Westenfluss. If there's nothing else then get your things from your respective ships and meet at the base with your room mate," Commander Bagley answered.

"Yes sir!" the men and one woman barked.

"Oh and Westenfluss," Commander Bagley commanded as he turned around to exit the room.

"Yes sir?" Heine asked freezing slightly.

"Escort Miss Honda to her old ship. Momoru Honda is a respected ZAFT commander," Commander Bagley informed.

"Yes sir," Heine answered relaxing slightly as the two men left the room. The other pilots trickled out in groups of two to introduce themselves to their new roommates as Ayame and Heine remained staring at each other.

"Um…Here's your coat," Ayame muttered bashfully. She held it out to him blushing softly. Ayame smiled meekly as she watched him put his coat back on.

"Thanks," Heine answered escorting her out of the room. _She's cute and irresistible…what's wrong with a little genetic tweak? It makes us different and unique…I think I'll try to pursue this one _Heine thought looking her over from head to toe.

---

First chapter…kinda iffy on it…It could be better…Stay tuned…Read and Review

November 26, 2009 ~ error fixed thanks to Xx Meisha xX


	2. Chapter 2

Never Look Back Chapter 2

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Yeah…I don't know what you guys think but okay!

---

"You bitch! You stole my boyfriend," a yellow haired girl screamed launching herself on top a brunette.

"It's not my fault that he likes _pretty _women," the brunette answered pulling the blonde's hair. The brunette ripped out a small section of her hairs.

"You know what?! You're one of the ugliest women I've ever seen. Only reason why he ever looked at you was because you had a tight butt!" the blonde answered punching the brunette out in the stomach. She gagged loudly as a group of male soldiers circled the fighting women. The men whistled and cackled with cat calls watching the woman pull their clothes apart.

"What's going on up there?" Ayame asked herself pushing through the crowd of men.

"How could you have been my best friend you slut?!" the brunette hollered scratching the girl's face.

"You're the slut!" the blonde screeched as Ayame pulled them apart.

"What's wrong with you two?! Abbie, Mia… Fighting over a man like that! What are you two?! We need to band together…We are all independent women! We don't need to rely on a man to be happy!" Ayame explained before suffering a severe blow to the face from the blonde.

"Who the hell are you to judge Maganekko," Abbie the blonde snorted rubbing her hand.

"What's going on here?!" Heine demanded helping Ayame to her feet.

"Nothing…you don't have the authority to do anything anyways," Mia huffed gathering up her shredded uniform before walking away. Heine sighed softly relaxing his tense shoulders.

"Are you alright?" Heine asked gently touching her face softly to see what was wrong.

"Ow! Don't touch my face! Please," Ayame said softly holding onto her face in agony.

"Let's take you to the infirmary," Heine suggested picking up Ayame. She let out a slight yelp out of fear throwing one arm around his shoulder.

"Put me down," Ayame cried holding her bleeding nose.

"Not until we get to the infirmary," Heine answered looking at her bloody face.

"Please…don't…I'll be fine," Ayame muttered relaxing her head on his shoulder.

"Hey, I don't want you to pass out on me. I also want to make sure you're okay because if your face hurts when I touch it you may have broken something…or at least fractured," Heine stated opening the door to leave the hangar.

"Why do you care?" Ayame asked allowing blood to fall on her uniform.

"Because you're my room mate," Heine answered with a hint of blush. _You're a very beautiful woman Ayame…I want to pursue you but you seem distant…_Heine thought following the hall all the way to the end before turning right.

"Hmpf…Why…Why do you care about someone with glasses…Let me rephrase that…Why do you care about a _coordinator _with glasses?" Ayame spat as Heine entered the infirmary.

"Ayame-san, the reason why I care is because I don't care about what's on the outside. But if I must tell you something…" Heine began loosing track of the conversation as the doctor approached them.

"What seems to be the problem here," the doctor asked as Heine placed her on the surgical stage.

"I didn't see everything that happened but it looked like a blonde punch Ayame-san in the face," Heine answered holding Ayame stable as she began to sway on the table.

"Please I'm fine," Ayame murmured before passing out. Catching the drooping woman Heine laid her down before staring at the doctor.

"Why don't you come back here a little later when I can diagnose what's wrong with her," the doctor answered checking Ayame's temperature.

"There isn't a place I could stay until she wakes up?" Heine asked becoming reluctant to leave Ayame. He took her hand tightly in his trying to comfort himself.

"No, it's best if you go," the doctor began seeing Ayame's and Heine's hands together. "But if she's your _girlfriend_ then I guess you can stay."

"No she's not but she's a good friend," Heine answered rubbing her hand.

"Okay then leave," the doctor ordered harshly throwing Heine out of the infirmary. _These people are all crazy…what type of ship was Ayame assigned to?! _Heine thought waiting outside the room. He looked down at his hand before blushing harshly. _I…I've only known her for a couple of hours but what is this? _Heine asked himself before wandering around the halls of the Nazcaclass vessel. He occasionally spoke to a couple of soldiers before becoming bored. He sighed slowly before coming up on a woman.

"Excuse me ma'am," Heine called out trying to catch her attention.

"Yes?" she answered politely. The female green had long brown hair and matching auburn eyes with a slender body that would make any woman jealous.

"Do you by chance know Honda, Ayame?" Heine asked wanting to strike up a conversation with the beautiful looking woman.

"Yeah she's a very kind woman," the green answered.

"By the way I'm Heine Westenfluss," Heine reassured politely.

The woman giggled softly, "I'm Mami Deroy." _He's cute…I wonder if he's single. He's sexy too…I'll just seduce him with my charms…_Mami thought giving him innocent puppy dog eyes.

"She's been injured…I'm worried about her," Heine mumbled as Mami came closer to him.

"Really? What a pity…could you hold me for comfort. She's a _very _good friend of mine," Mami said seductively. Heine pushed her away softly feeling the conversation was becoming awkward.

"I'm sorry I can't comfort you. I have to get back to Ayame," Heine answered uncomfortably leaving for the infirmary. Within ten minutes Heine entered the infirmary to see Ayame's nose covered with a nose brace. Her left eye had become purple and swollen.

"Ayame," Heine muttered walking to the injured woman. He sat down next to her taking her hand in his.

"You again?" the doctor from before spat. He glared at Heine before stomping to his seat.

"Hello doctor, is she doing well?" Heine asked.

"She's fine…she needs rest. Why don't you leave?!" the doctor answered angrily.

"I want to stay here until she wakes up," Heine replied rubbing her hand gently.

"Well you know she shouldn't have visitors right now," the doctor coaxed grabbing Heine's arm.

"Well her injuries aren't that bad. Besides I need to get her stuff from her room," Heine replied cheerfully. He looked up the doctor seeing that the doctor was not happy.

"Please leave," the doctor said through his teeth. Seeing that he wasn't going to win the battle Heine sighed reluctantly.

"Well see you later Ayame-san," Heine said gently ruffling her hair before standing up. Her lifeless hand slowly began to close on his shocking Heine and the doctor. She opened her eyes to the best of her ability before groaning out of pain.

"He-Heine?" she asked tiredly.

"Yes it's me…Are you ready to go get your things? We're already REALLY late," Heine asked helping Ayame sit up.

"Oh…yes…I forgot…How late are we?" she asked as Heine picked her up. She wasn't hooked up to an IV line so he didn't have to worry about hurting her.

"Um about thirty minutes. Hey Doc. could you get her uniform jacket?" Heine asked politely. Snatching it off a near by chair the doctor stuffed it underneath Heine's arm.

"Ahhh…Thank you?" Heine answered before leaving the infirmary.

"Heine…I can walk," Ayame murmured.

"Oh it's alright Ayame-san," Heine chimed nuzzling her gently before pausing. _Damnit…I'm letting my feelings get the best of me! _Heine thought gulping slightly.

"Is something wrong?" Ayame asked looking at him through her good eye.

"Could you direct me to your room?" Heine asked with a hint of blush.

"Oh right…I'm sorry. Make a left," Ayame answered with a yawn leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Alright," Heine answered turning left around the corner.

"It's the fifth door on the right," Ayame yawned closing her eyes. Heine nodded walking to the fifth door on the right.

"Code?" Heine asked seeing he was unable to open the door.

"78156," Ayame whispered falling asleep in his arms.

"Alright…I'm in," Heine answered after opening the door.

Ayame yawned, "All my…my stuff…is…packed…the bed…left…mine." She had fallen asleep in his arms leaving Heine to pick up her bag and leave.

"Good night Ayame-san," he whispered into her hair. He slung her bag over his shoulder before leaving the room. _I gotta get off this Nazca class and on to mine before we get into more trouble…_Heine thought rushing down the halls.

---

"Where's Heine? He's normally never late!" Kane wondered knowing that Heine and Ayame would miss their flight if they didn't hurry.

"Don't worry about him…Heine will be here with his lady friend soon enough," Masato chuckled walking around the base with Kane.

"We shouldn't be this far out either…We need to get back to where our bags are," Kane sighed.

"Fine, race ya back. Who ever loses will have to pay for all the beers the winner wants," Masato exclaimed sprinting towards the inner base.

"Hey you crazy bastard you can't get a head start!" Kane hollered chasing after his friend.

---

"We finally made it," Heine huffed before opening a door to report in to the base. Ayame was still asleep as Heine stepped into the room.

"Do you know how late you are?" Lt. Commander Baker said in a deadly tone.

"About an hour late?" Heine answered standing at attention.

"Wrong! You are 2 hours, 17 minutes and 36 seconds late!" Lt Commander Baker barked startling Ayame. She opened her eyes fixating them on Baker.

"Sir she was admitted to the infirmary for a nose injury," Heine explained trying to balance Ayame, her bag and his.

"Don't make excuses!" Lt. Commander Baker snapped getting out of him comfy chair to tower over Heine and Ayame.

"Baker…Calm down. Ayame what happened?" Commander Bagley asked calmly.

"I intervened in a fight. One of my comrades punched me in the face and fractured my nose. Could you put me down Heine?" Ayame replied. Heine nodded gently releasing her legs but wrapping a hand around her waist. _I don't know if she's going to pass out again…She's still unstable and unfortunately too weak to do anything, _he thought as Ayame stiffened from his arm.

"That's a shame. I'm sorry that, that happened to you. Heine thanks for taking care of her," Bagley said warmly.

"A-Ah you're welcome sir," Heine answered.

"You'll be still rooming with Ayame. In about twenty minutes there will be shuttles to the airport where you will board civilian airplanes to the base in Aprillius One. Here are your tickets. Ayame come get them," Bagley informed cheerfully. Hesitantly Ayame took a few steps forward to claim the tickets in Bagley's hand.

"Don't be shy…come on take it," Bagley chuckled waving it closer to Ayame. Carefully Ayame took the tickets out of his hands before retreating to Heine's arms.

"Thank you sir," Ayame said softly snuggling against Heine.

"Well you two should be heading to the shuttle port. We'll see you two at the base," Bagley chuckled standing up to see them off. The two soldiers saluted before leaving the room. Ayame sighed softly as they headed towards the shuttles.

"Something wrong?" Heine asked shifting the weight of his bag to the opposite shoulder.

"I don't know…Should there be?" Ayame answered in a sad voice.

"If it's about your nose and eye…I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you," Heine expressed sorrowfully.

Ayame blushed, "Re-Really?"


	3. Chapter 3

Never Look Back Chapter 3

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"Well here's baggage claim carousel 3," Heine muttered as he scanned the baggage going pass him. Ayame stayed quiet twisting a paper towel in her hands as she stared at the bags. Most of the other soldiers had received their bags and had already left in taxis, buses, or if their rank was high enough a military jeep. (A/N: PM me if you want an explanation why it isn't a limo or a nice car).

"Heine! How was your flight?" Kane asked slapping Heine on the back in a friendly manner.

"It was pretty good. Yours?" Heine answered seeing his bag finally coming down the ramp and on to the carousel.

"Excellent! I got to sit next to these two hot girls…and they gave me their numbers. Once I get back to the hotel; you know who I'm calling! Well see ya later Heine. I have to meet up with my roommate," Kane chuckled before leaning with a friendly wave. Surprisingly Ayame reached out hesitantly and took his bag off the carousel for him.

"Th-Thank you," Heine said gently as she placed it at his feet. Once again she stood there quietly staring at the luggage go by before the carousel stopped all together. Unsure of what to do, Ayame walked around the carousel looking for her bag. She circled it twice before returning to Heine.

"It's not here," she said in a small voice.

"Really? Maybe it arrived on an earlier flight," Heine suggested picking up his own before escorting her to the airline's office. Not wanting to interfere with Ayame's business, Heine decided to wait outside for her. He leaned against a wall before staring into a light. Inside the room a tired woman was behind the desk organizing papers into slots before looking over luggage tags and other baggage.

"Excuse me?" Ayame said softly to get her attention. Tiredly the woman looked up at her before back down at her work. Seeing a glimpse of her name tag Ayame figured out that her name was Marla.

"Yeah? Can I help you," the woman named Marla muttered.

"I can not find my baggage. It was on flight 365 fro…" Ayame tried to say before she was rudely interrupted.

"Fill out this paper work. Four of the bags were lost on the way here," Marla sighed handing her a clipboard. Ayame nodded filling out everything on the clipboard before handing it to the woman.

"Thank you," Ayame answered softly turning around to leave.

"Yeah, bye," the woman named Marla answered ruffling through her own hair. Once outside she brushed past Heine as she made her way to a bench. Seeing that she was physically upset Heine joined her at the bench. They sat there quietly watching their comrades either pick up their bags or get on to buses or taxis.

"They lost it," Ayame said finally.

"I'm so sorry Ayame. But don't look so blue. They'll find it," Heine coaxed trying to get a smile out of her.

"I hope…Every time I fly somewhere they lose my luggage…I always get it back but…" Ayame muttered before standing up to hide her tears. As Heine was about to stand up to comfort her, a man, of unknown origins began to comfort the crying Ayame.

"It's alright Ayame," the man cooed before kissing her cheek softly. Instantly Ayame dried her tears before hugging the man tightly.

"Yukio!" Ayame cried before turning around to see Heine. _Is she…no…she can't be…No…this…she can't…_Heine's thoughts were jumbled as the man turned Ayame around and kissed her cheek again.

"Heine, this is my fiancé Yukio. We're getting married in 4 days. Yukio this is my roommate Heine. They accidentally placed Mamoru's name on the transcript instead of mine," Ayame chimed playfully wrapping her arm around his waist.

"Well congratulation!" Heine said with a fake smile as his heart began to crumble. _It was only a silly crush anyways…just a silly crush…_Heine thought sorrowfully.

"Yukio…I know it's a last minute change but I want Heine to come to our wedding. He had been so kind to me and very helpful," Ayame said sincerely. She blushed softly before looking back at Heine.

"Oh yeah…about the wedding…It's off," Yukio snorted signaling a group of people to them. In the group there was a woman, three girls and two boys that looked like identical twins.

"Wha-What?" Ayame asked backing away from Yukio. The five children engulfed Yukio crying out Daddy over and over again. She felt like fainting…this had to been a bad dream. A dream right before her wedding day. All of this had to be a bad dream.

"Daddy? Is this the bitch lady?" one of the little girls asked in her innocent high pitched voice.

"Yeah…this is her. Isn't she gullible?" Yukio chuckled nuzzling his daughter.

"Yes she is quite gullible," the wife grinned kissing her husband on the lips.

"B-But…I…yo-you sa-said…y-you loved me!" Ayame cried as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Did you really think I'd marry someone who's the same age as me? 18….It's a horrible age. I never loved you, you're ugly, those glasses are tacky, and besides if you're a real coordinator you shouldn't even have them," Yukio smirked as his children taunted Ayame. Heine watched as Ayame's warm cheeks turned cold and gray. She stood there quietly the tears that oddly stopped falling. She was placed in a trance of instability.

Angrily Heine stood up grabbing Yukio's collar, "Will you cut it out?! You have already broken her!"

"Not just yet…You know why I did this? My wife and I made a bet. And the bet was to see if anyone was dumb enough to date and marry me. And then I was to divorce you like that…but I think I like this way better. All these people get to see how much of an idiot you are!" Yukio answered as Ayame looked away from him.

"You're not even worth hitting," Heine muttered shoving Yukio to the ground before picking up his bag. Gently he took Ayame's hand leading her away from the laughing mob.

"Heine wait," she said softly. She unzipped her uniform pulling out a ring. She walked back to the laughing group.

"Here's your ring back," Ayame said confidently as she dropped it on Yukio's crotch area before giving the man a harsh kick to the groin.

"I hope you're never able to do this to another woman again," Ayame spat walking away from the groaning Yukio. She walked back to Heine who had slowly made it to a bus filled with their comrades. He placed his bag underneath the bus before helping Ayame inside. The bus was busy with noise as they made their way to a pair of seats. Once again they sat in silence as the bus began to move. Twenty minutes into the bus ride Heine noticed that Ayame had began to shake uncontrollably.

"Ayame?" he asked moving a couple hairs out of her face before she broke into a loud sob. The bus became dead silent as Ayame cried and cried. All heads turned to Heine and Ayame as he moved to comfort her.

"I'm so stupid! I'm an idiot! A fraud! A bitch! The other woman!" she cried on his chest. He covered her mouth firmly so she wouldn't cry out so loudly anymore.

"What happened?" a young woman in front of them asked. She had curly red hair and a widely concerned face.

"Trace leave it alone," the man next to her whispered. The red head shot him a glare before taking Ayame's hand.

"Oh Miguel…What's wrong?" the red head called Trace asked. Ayame continued to sob.

"I'll comfort her for you…you sit next to Miguel," Trace coaxed standing up to switch spots with Heine.

"Alright…Just get her to stop crying…please," Heine begged as their fellow soldiers began to whisper to each other. Heine and the girl called Trace switched spots.

"Hi my name is Tracii Fujigawa. What's yours?" the red head asked Ayame.

"H-Honda Ay-Ayame," Ayame cried. Noticing all the stares and whispers the man named Miguel stood up annoyed.

"Will you guys go back to your conversations already?!" Miguel snapped before sitting back down. Quickly the surrounding soldiers began to talk about random thoughts causing the bus to rise in noise again.

"I'm Miguel…Miguel Aiman," Miguel said in a friendly manner extending his hand.

"Heine Westenfluss," Heine answered shaking Miguel's hand confidently.

"What happened to you Ayame?" Tracii asked hugging Ayame.

"My fiancé left me…He planned it from the beginning," Ayame sobbed.

"Miss Ayame…I know it's hard and you can slap me if you want…but you have to forget about him and move on. There are other fish in the sea," Tracii answered thinking about all her past experiences with men.

"I-I'll try…I-I wa-want He-Heine," Ayame muttered drying her tears.

"You want Heine?" Tracii asked in a low voice releasing the somewhat calm Ayame.

"Yes…He-Heine," Ayame answered.

"What's a Heine?" Tracii asked becoming confused. _I've never heard of a Heine…Is it a food? A drink? An item? Gosh I don't know! _Tracii thought scratching the back of her head.

"Tracii she means him," Miguel chuckled pointing at Heine.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" Tracii expressed covering her mouth. They exchanged seats and quickly Ayame latched onto Heine.

"Is everything alright now?" Heine asked as their bus oddly pulled into a hotel parking lot.

"I think so," Ayame muttered as a female officer entered the bus.

"Pipe down everyone! Unfortunately our base and ship was attacked by the earth forces…for now all of you will be staying here until we can get proper housing for all of you," the officer began, "Except you two…Tracii Fujigawa…Miguel Aiman…you two come with me." The officer left the bus causing the bus to rise in noise again.

"It was very nice meeting you Heine, Ayame," Tracii acknowledged as she helped Miguel out of the elongated vehicle. Heine nodded wrapping his arm around Ayame.

---

"Today…Is…the…worst day of my entire existence…no offense Heine but I'm assigned to a room with a man, my nose is fractured, my eye purple, my bag missing, my fiancé who never loved me and now…one bed!" Ayame muttered lying across it.

"No offense and you can have it. I'll sleep on the couch," Heine answered one by one picking up a shirt and examining it.

"Oh no…you sleep here…I'll take the couch," Ayame answered.

"It wouldn't be right…take the bed. Um…you can sleep in this," Heine answered hesitantly holding up one of his shirts. Ayame nodded softly undoing her uniform jacket.

"Wha-What are you doing?!" Heine asked bewildered to see that Ayame was taking off her clothes in front of him.

"Relax…it's not like you're not going to see this when we room together," Ayame chuckled before slipping Heine's shirt over her head.

"None of my pants will fit so you can where my boxers if you want," Heine answered holding them out to her. Afterwards he knelt down to pick up the socks and toiletries he had carelessly dropped on the ground.

"O-Oh…a-ah…I-I guess," Ayame muttered as her face turned bright red. Uncomfortably Ayame began to slowly pull her panties off her body as Heine stood up to place the items back in his bag.

"I meant where them as pants! As pants!" Heine cried out seeing her panties at her ankles. He blushed ferociously before retreating into the closet to calm his nerves and his pants.


	4. Chapter 4

Never Look Back Chapter 4

---

The next day…will Ayame have the same amount of luck?

---

"Ayame, time to wake up," Heine said shaking her gently. She yawned loudly rolling over on her side away. He chuckled softly before shaking her again.

"Go away," Ayame muttered with a soft yawn. Her eyes flickered open for a moment before closing again.

"Come on Ayame. Get up we have to go to a meeting this morning," Heine chuckled sitting her up in the bed.

"What will I wear?" Ayame asked in a tired voice.

"Your uniform for now…I guess…" Heine answered helping her off the bed. Once she was standing, the boxers he had given her to wear slipped off since they were to big for her. Staring at the underwear around her ankles he began to blush violently thinking of the night before.

"Are you alright?" Ayame questioned as she rubbed her eyes gently.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?!" Heine answered quickly. Ayame giggled softly twirling a lock of her hair shuffling around him in a circle.

"If you say so," she chimed picking up her uniform.

"I'll take you clothes shopping today. I feel partially responsible for losing your stuff," Heine said gently.

"Oh no…I can do it in my own free time…you don't need to pay for anything," Ayame answered removing the boxers and the shirt Heine had given her. Avoiding Heine's eyes Ayame dressed quickly knowing that she was rooming with a man instead of a woman this time around.

"Please…Let me treat you," Heine answered in a soft voice. Taking her hand Heine gently kissed it pulling her into a loving hug.

"No no no, Heine…I can't…I have my own money…Don't we have to get to that meeting soon?" Ayame said quickly hoping that Heine would forget the previous subject.

"Oh yeah…Let me change and then we can go. Or if you want, you can go and then I can meet up with you," Heine answered thoughtfully.

"I kinda…I kinda want alone time. I'll go to the meeting right now and then we can meet up there," Ayame answered in a small voice. He gave a single nod as Ayame left the room quietly.

"The poor girl…I wish she'd get over him already," Heine said selfishly staring at his reflection in the mirror. He shook the thoughts away believing that she needed the time to get over her ex-fiancé.

---

"May I sit here?" Ayame asked kindly to a man in a green uniform. The meeting was about to begin and the room was buzzing with voices of her fellow soldiers.

"No," the man replied with a snort. He looked her up and down before shaking his head slowly.

"Okay, thank you anyways," Ayame mumbled as she wandered the room trying to find a place to sit. With an oddly cheerful sigh she sat in the back left corner where no one could see her bugling eye and pained nose. She saw Heine enter the room moments later, but she made no effort to call him over. _I'm already an embarrassment to him…why should I call him over, _she thought as a few tears came from her swollen eye. She watched him walk around the room anxiously seemingly looking for a certain person. It didn't click in her mind that Heine was looking for her. As the meeting began Heine sat down reluctantly once the two officers entered the room. The soldiers stood up and salute before a wave of the hand placed them back in their seats.

"Good morning," Commander Bagley chimed with a vibrant smile. The soldiers nodded in agreement as Bagley moved to the center of the room.

"Where's your roommate Westenfluss?!" Lt. Commander Baker demanded seeing that she wasn't with him.

"I'm not very sure sir," Heine answered with a gulp.

"Leave the boy alone. She's here," Bagley snapped becoming annoyed with Baker.

"Fine," Baker muttered seeing Ayame in the far left corner.

"I have great news to deliver! But before I give you the news I have to tell you our first agenda. The base should be up and running within a month's time. Now on to the good news…You have all been cordially invited to the ZAFT ball!" Bagley said cheerfully. Many of the girls gasped and whispered to each other how excited they were.

"The ball is on April 4, which gives you guys about two weeks to prepare," Baker barked.

"If you have family here you may stay with them. You guys are dismissed," Bagley ordered. The two officers left the room quickly as the room filled with chatter. _Where are you Ayame? _Heine thought as he anxiously began his search again. She remained sitting in her seat with her hand crossed. Spotting his green haired heroine Heine approached her cautiously.

"Time to go Ayame," Heine soothed rubbing her shoulders gently. Without any agreement Ayame stood up slowly before leading Heine out of the room.

"When we get back to our room we can put some eye over your eye to get the swelling to go down," Heine suggested rubbing her back. She nodded slowly as tears stung her eyes.

"Can you hold me?" Ayame asked in an insecure voice. She shook uncontrollably as they reached the room they shared.

"Alright. Once we get inside," Heine said warmly trying to calm her down. He opened the door before pushing her in. Flicking on the lights Heine found a distraught Yukio with a bouquet filled with red roses. A banner hung behind him that expressed the words "I'm sorry!"

"Oh my flower…I thought you knew I was joking! I didn't know that you thought it was real. If I can only have this one time for you to forgive me…I'll never commit such a cruel joke ever again. Please take me back," Yukio expressed sadly. He held out the flowers to her trying to express his sympathy. In a shocked dismay Ayame shook her head no.

"No…no no no no no! How could you play an evil trick! Did you know how much that hurt me?! This isn't some petty problem that can be worked out easily!" Ayame cried as Heine shut the door. _I don't want to get involved in this, _he thought.

"Ayame please! We can work this out! I promise! I wasn't trying to be that mean to you!" Yukio pleaded holding the bouquet out further.

"You weren't trying to?! You broke my heart! You called me ugly! I meant it Yukio…I really meant it! The wedding is off and our relationship is through! Take your ring, the bouquet, the banner and any other nice gift you bought me back!" Ayame answered in a weak voice. She turned away from the two men so they wouldn't see her tears before running to the bathroom to sob. Uncomfortably Heine opened the door for the sulking man as he gathered his belongings and left.

"Take good care of her you jackass," Yukio muttered once he was in the hallway. _You know…I bet this is the fault of that red haired man! I know it is…He stole Ayame away from me with his charms and good looks _Yukio thought angrily as he moved down the hall.

---

"Ayame…open up…I want to talk to you," Heine coaxed knocking on the door. Ayame had been sobbing in the bathroom for more than twenty minutes and Heine was becoming worried. The shower water was running rampant and so were the sad tears that Heine heard from inside.

"Go away!" Ayame sobbed shivering in the cold water.

"Ayame open this door. I'm worried about you," Heine expressed anxiously. Surprised and feeling like an idiot Heine found the door unlocked when he jiggled the knob. Turning the knob carefully and slowly Heine entered the room to see Ayame shivering in the shower. She had removed her uniform leaving it neatly next to the door.

"Go AWAY!" Ayame cried out in a pitiful yelp. Heine sighed softly out of frustration and relief before he joined her under the cold water.

He chuckled, "This is like the first time we met." Wrapping his arms around her like a security blanket; he watched Ayame sob her eyes out in his chest. The cold water stung his eyes as he consoled the sobbing young lady. He rocked her silently, rubbing her back and occasionally kissing her forehead as the minutes ticked on eternity.

---

End of the Chapter…Beginning of the School Year…Perfect…JUST Perfect…


	5. Chapter 5

Never Look Back Chapter 5

---

"Ayame...wake up. I have some clothes for you," Heine coaxed shaking her gently. His hands were trembling and his face was a bright red. _Never again will I go through her clothes like that…never again _Heine thought as she opened her blood shot eyes. Sitting up in a comfortable position Ayame wrapped her arms around Heine's neck.

"Thank you," she muttered as Heine sat next to her.

"For the clothes?" Heine asked.

"No…for staying by my side…My ex-fiancé was a trickster…he's a stand up comedian…he always looked for chances to play jokes so he could add them into his show," Ayame muttered.

"Has he done anything like this before?" Heine asked curiously.

"He tricked me into believing my house burned down…I live here by the way…I'm probably going to stay there," Ayame answered.

"Really? That's cruel. Is your family here?" Heine replied.

"My parents are dead...they died about two years ago…" Ayame answered with a small sigh.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bring up such a painful memory, Ayame," Heine replied with shock and embarrassment.

"It's alright…You know…everyone asks me "what happened" when I talk about my parents. The people seem more interested in how they died then how they lived…you know what I mean?" Ayame answered.

"R-Right," Heine replied shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

"My parents were archaeologists…boy did they love their work. When Mamoru and I were little we used to travel around with them. I saw Africa and Asia…India and Russia…They were all very beautiful. Our official "home" was on the moon then…that's how I received my name…Ayame, it means moon flower or flower of the moon. After my younger brother was born my parents decided it was too cruel of a world for Mamoru, Toshiro and I. We then moved here. At that time we lived with our aunt. After that Mamoru took care of us. My parents loved us…I think…they were always to busy to stay at home. I never had a real chance to meet them…I really miss them," Ayame expressed sorrowfully.

"I'm so sorry," Heine said sadly pulling her into a deeper hug.

"It's okay," Ayame answered adjusting her glasses.

_Flashback_

"_Who the hell are you to judge Maganekko," Abbie the blonde snorted rubbing her hand._

_End Flashback_

"Ayame…what does Maganekko mean?" Heine asked gently.

"It means "glass girl" or "girl with glass," Ayame answered with disgust.

"You hate that name don't you," Heine answered pulling her on to his lap.

"AAHHHH!!!! Put me down!" she whined shutting her eyes tightly.

"You're blushing," Heine chuckled tapping her nose gently. He nuzzled her playfully receiving a shy smile from his outward affection.

"Please put me down though," Ayame repeated as Heine leaned backwards on to the bed.

"Aw but your so cute!" Heine whispered into her ear. He tickled her sides causing her to giggle with glee.

"Stop!" she cried as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Come on…let's go out and get you some clothes," Heine smiled releasing her. She hesitated…Ayame held on to her new found friend. _I feel so comfortable in his arms _Ayame thought as tears welled in her eyes.

"Come home with me…we have a spare room…You can stay there…and for free," Ayame suggested sitting up to look in to his eyes. She adjusted her glasses again trying to see Heine's face clearly.

"A-Are you sure?" Heine asked uncomfortably. She nodded her head confidently as she rolled on to the bed.

"For everything you're going to do for me…It's the least I can do…Please…Heine. There will be little kids around the house but it's nice and livable," Ayame answered.

"Little kids?" Heine asked with a shocked expression. She nodded slowly sifting through the bag of clothes.

"My parents liked children even though they never had time to take care of us…there are six of us…Masumi at the age of two, Jun at the age of four, Mitsuho is seven, Toshiro at sixteen, myself at eighteen, and then Mamoru is twenty-four. When my parents died Mamoru couldn't support us alone so I joined ZAFT to help the family," Ayame answered. Her leg shook nervously as Heine helped her to her feet.

"Why don't you shower and dress?" Heine suggested as Ayame cleaned her glasses slowly and thoughtfully. She nodded entering the bathroom. The door closed softly behind her and the soft sound of shower water rained into the tub. _I can't…I can't believe it's all over. I will miss Yukio…I really will…_were her thoughts as the water drenched her. Her vision was fuzzy without her much needed glasses. She sighed softly washing her body under the steaming water.

"Are you okay in there?" Heine asked knocking on the door.

"I'm fine, why do you ask?" Ayame countered turning her head towards the door.

"You've been in there for 30minutes," Heine answered, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," Ayame chuckled turning off the water. She stepped out of the tub blindly reaching for a towel.

"Okay," Heine responded hearing Ayame wander around the room.

"Heine…where are the towels?" she asked bumping into a wall.

"Right next to the tub, didn't you see them?" Heine asked.

"No…I took off my glasses…are my glasses out there? I can't find them," Ayame muttered embarrassed at the thought of losing something precious to her.

"Not to my knowledge," Heine replied.

"Can you help me to the towels?" Ayame asked innocently feeling the walls around her.

"Sorry but no. It wouldn't be right," Heine answered hesitantly. Finally Ayame was able to find a towel, pull it off the rack and wrap it around her body.

"It's okay. I know how you feel. I found the towels," Ayame answered opening the door slowly. Bashfully he looked away from the beautiful who had emerged from the bathroom.

"Do you need help finding your glasses?" Heine asked scratching the back of his head. She shivered gently as she stared into Heine's face half dazed.

"I'm sorry that I can't see well…I'm quite the rarity, you know?" Ayame chuckled as Heine entered the bathroom.

"I'm just curious. Why do you have to wear glasses?" Heine asked looking in the sink for her glasses.

"About every 1,000,000 coordinator birth there is a genetic defect…As you can see…It was my vision that was affected. I know it would be easier just to wear contacts or have laser surgery…but I don't have the money for it…Or should I say I don't want to spend the money on it," Ayame sighed.

"It troubles you…doesn't it?" Heine replied picking her glasses off the floor.

"N-No it doesn't…" She lied going to her bed to search for her missing spectacles.

"I found them. I hope you don't mind the closes I picked out for you," Heine answered walking to her.

"Ah! Thank you!" Ayame chimed putting them on.

"You're welcome…So I'll let you change. Come get me when you're done," Heine suggested as headed towards the door. He smiled gently leaving the room in a subtle manner.

---

"Heine…Thank you for the clothes…I really love them!" Ayame chuckled smoothing out the dress she was wearing.

"Don't mention it. Would you like to go back to the room?" Heine asked kissing her hand gently. Bashfully, Ayame adjusted her glasses before nodding.

"Heine…But what about your friends? They wouldn't care if you left?" Ayame asked as her face turned a crimson red.

"I can explain to them tomorrow about what happened today. You seem tired…I want you to get enough sleep," Heine explain escorting her back to the room.

"You don't have to sacrifice your time to take me to bed," Ayame retaliated as they entered the nearest elevator.

"No one should be alone," Heine responded. She blushed again as Heine pulled her into a deep amorous hug.

"Th-Thank you," Ayame answered once he released her. _My heart is fluttering…Every time I look at him…I want to kiss him…I've never kissed a guy before…Yukio never allowed me to kiss him…He's so handsome, and those muscles…Every time I feel them, I melt to pieces…_Ayame thought looking him up and down several times.

"Ayame, Ayame? Ayame! Hey are you okay. You spaced out there," Heine asked snapping his index finger in front of her face.

"Yeah…I was just admiring your the musc-modeling…" Ayame answered her heart still skipping beats.

"O-kay…We're on the right floor. Let's get to the room before anyone sees us," Heine suggested.

"Alright…Once again…Thank you so much for the dress!" Ayame chimed as Heine went through his wallet to find the key.

"You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome," Heine chuckled opening the door before placing the key card back in his wallet.

"I really do love it! I hate that I have to take it off," Ayame cried giving Heine a soft kiss on the cheek.

Heine blushed, "Green and black are very fitting colors on you. I think you look great in halter dresses too. I wasn't sure how you would react to the flower pattern but it seems like a plus."

"Oh…ah…thank you," Ayame answered blushing heavily. An awkward silence choked the room as the couple stared at each other.

"Good night," Heine muttered quickly leaving Ayame all by herself.

"What was that all about?" Ayame asked herself blinking in confusion. _I can't let my feelings get the best of me…she's still unstable…I want her to fully get over him…DAMN IT! Why the hell is it so hard?! I want Ayame…but I don't want to push her away _Heine thought feeling his face flare up with amorous love.

---

These are the names I thought about using.

Himawari – sunflower

Jun – truthful

Koemi – little laugh

Koyuki – little snow

Masumi – True Purity


	6. Chapter 6

Never Look Back Chapter 6

---

Ugh…I don't think the last chapter went well…heck I don't think this story is going well…

---

"AYAME!" Heine cried out in shock. After their VERY awkward moment last night Heine had left the room to calm down while leaving Ayame utterly confused. He had fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on and remote in hand but that wasn't what he found **this **morning. The TV was off and the remote was gone which he didn't find surprising at all. His most surprising find was **Ayame**. She had curled up **underneath **his **blanket** on top of **him**. Sometime during the night she had left her bed and cuddled up with his sleeping form. Startled at Heine's voice Ayame jerked awake, sitting up in a frightened hurry.

"Y-Yes?" she asked quietly.

"What are you doing?!" Heine asked in a bewildered tone. He pushed himself away from her only for the dazed Ayame to move with him.

"Please don't go!" she cried out in her soft voice.

"Then tell me what were you doing?! Why were you there?!" Heine asked as Ayame sat on top of him to think. Her cheeks a vivid pink as she stared upwards in thought.

"I-I…I-I…um…I-I c-couldn't sl-sleep la-last ni-night…an-and…I-I…I-I…alwaysfeltcomfortableinyourarms," Ayame said quickly. She closed her eyes in embarrassment as she clung on to the front of his shirt. _I knew this was a bad idea! I just knew it! _She thought as her body trembled in fear.

"What was the last part?" Heine asked beginning to calm down.

"I-I fe-feel co-comfo-fortable i-in yo-your a-a-arms," Ayame repeated as tears streamed down her face. _What have I done?! I have ruined our relationship just because I felt lonely and couldn't sleep. I'm such an idiot! _Ayame thought as Heine sat up pulling Ayame onto his lap in a non-sexual position.

"Please don't cry," Heine said gently kissing her hand gently. He kissed her cheek softly rubbing her back in a soothing way.

"I'm sorry…I-I di-didn't…I'm an idiot!" Ayame cried out as Heine covered her mouth.

"Shhhh…Don't cry. Everything will be alright. I'm not really mad at you. You just scared me a little bit," Heine cooed. She shook her head quickly as Heine pressed his hand against her mouth firmly.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Just wake me up next time, okay?" Heine whispered into her hair soothingly. After a long pause of silence Ayame nodded yes in a slow and stead manner.

"I…wa-wanna g-go home," she hesitated.

"Okay, we can go today if you want. If that's alright with you," Heine answered. He had grown tired of the hotel life style. There was nothing to do and taking care of the distraught Ayame was almost a full time job.

"It's up to you He-Heine…I mean you're the one that has everyting…" Ayame replied. He chuckled softly twirling a loch of her hair.

"It's your home. It is really up to you. Do you want to go home today?" Heine asked.

"I-I don't know…ma-maybe," Ayame answered.

"We'll go. I'll check out of the hotel right now. While I'm there I'll rent a car and then you can tell me where to go. Okay?" Heine suggested.

"Okay…Have a good time," cheerfully said Ayame.

"Will you be okay by yourself?" Heine asked.

"U-huh!" Ayame replied. _She seems a little too cheerful…I hope she isn't…no she wouldn't, _he thought.

"Please…don't do anything bad. Please…you'll tear me apart," Heine replied.

"I-I won't," Ayame answered.

---

"Ayame I'm back!" Heine called out as he opened the door. He carried some ice with him to ice her eye. The room was dead quiet causing Heine to go into a panic.

"Ayame! Where are you?!" Heine called out searching the place.

She yawned, "Yes? I'm right here." Rubbing her swollen eye she sat up slowly.

"You scared me…I thought you left," Heine sighed with relief.

"I was tired so I took a nap," Ayame yawned again. She was still in her pajamas much to Heine's chagrin.

"I brought some ice for ya. Why don't you ice your eye while I pack," Heine asked handing her the bag of ice. Hesitantly she placed the bag over her eye feeling some relief and pain from the cold. Quickly, Heine began to stuff his and the little bit of her things into the single duffle bag he owned.

"What do you want me to leave out for you?" Heine questioned looking back at the quiet Ayame.

"Anything nice," she replied hesitantly. A hint of blush scarred her face as Heine picked out a nice summer dress for her.

"How about this?" Heine asked holding it out to her.

"Okay," Ayame murmured. Her eyes closed slowly as she drifted down on the couch.

"Hey! Stay awake Ayame!" Heine snapped. She snapped awake before rubbing her eyes gently. After showering, Ayame slipped on the orange colored dress with red sun flowers along the bottom.

---

"Sissy's home!" a young girl cried from inside Ayame's house. The young girl of four peered out the window at the car parked in the driveway.

"Jun get away from the door, I already told you she's not coming back. Ayame left us to rot away, with no money for food and clothing!" a male screamed back.

"But she is home Toshiro-niisan!" Jun pouted before escaping to the outside world.

"Is that Jun?" Heine asked as he opened the door for Ayame.

"Why yes it is! Hey Jun baby! How are you?" Ayame asked as the girl ran to her. Jun buried her head within the hem of her dress before breaking out in a soft sob.

"I missed you! How long?" Jun asked pulling her sister away from the car.

"What do you mean how long? I'll be here for a little while," Ayame answered back in a cheerful tone.

"But, how many _days _sissy?" Jun asked sincerely brushing past Heine.

"I really don't know myself. Once they need me, I guess," Ayame sighed. In a disappointed stare Jun hugged her sister's legs tightly.

"Sissy, who's that man?" the small girl asked pointing at Heine.

"First, don't point. He's a very good friend of mine. His name is Westenfluss, Heine," Ayame answered. Heine observed Ayame's actions with her sister lovingly. He had been the only child of his parents and had missed out on the joys of having a sibling.

"Nice to me to meet you wetenfuss-san," Jun struggled.

"Please, call me Heine. I'm not that old yet," he chuckled softly. Innocently Jun nodded staring up at Heine with her golden orange orbs. They were stunningly bold and large unlike her sister's pale blue.

"Okay Heine-san," Jun giggled before skipping into the house.

"She has very beautiful eyes. Very innocent too," Heine chuckled escorting Ayame inside the house.

"Almost everyone in my family has that color. The doctor believes that mine are blue because of my poor eye sight. But, that's only a myth," Ayame answered. Upon entering her home Ayame immediately sensed something was different. There was tension in the air as well as the smell of dirty clothes and old food. The house had not been taken care of in the way she had two years ago. Immediately her face reddened with embarrassment and shame because she promised Heine a room in a CLEAN house…but that was too much of a bargain.


	7. Chapter 7

Never Look Back Chapter 7

---

"Heine…I don't know about this. It's your money and…"Ayame whispered before Heine pulled her into a close hug.

"Like I said before…It's alright. I can pay for your clothes. You just worry about your family alright," Heine whispered quietly. Her family was falling apart at the seams. Ayame's brother Toshiro had sold all her clothes to go to parties and other social events. Heine didn't like being in the middle of this but what could he have done?

"I…I'm sorry…," she muttered as he led her through the store.

"Do you like this?" Heine asked pulling out a flowing blue shirt, ignoring her apology. The sleeves were long and breezy with a tie that cinches around the waist.

"Um…It's nice. I guess…It's okay…I mean I love it," Ayame replied trying to please him. Her mind continued to wander from her feelings for Yukio to the conditions of her home and about Heine's unconditional kindness.

"If you don't like it…tell me. So tell me, do you have a date to the ZAFT ball?" Heine asked bashfully.

"No…I…I'm not going to go with anyone," Ayame answered searching through the clearance racks.

"Really? I thought a woman as beautiful as you would already have a date," Heine expressed lovingly.

"No, and what beauty?!" Ayame snapped angrily. _Please don't be so upset. I want you to experience love the way it's suppose to be…not the way that Yukio made you experience it, _Heine thought moving a loch of hair behind her ear.

---

"So I took her shopping…Ayame…She was pretty hostile to me after moving back home. I guess because she was so stressed. Her brother…Toshiro did not do anything for her. The home was completely trashed and according to little Jun he had parties with his friends every week. I was slowly becoming frustrated then…I wanted her to love me. I hope you don't think ill of me now," Heine chuckled swirling the contents of the glass.

"When you met…Ayame…how old were you?" Athrun gulped.

"17…we were both 17…or was it 18??? I can not remember," Heine replied glancing over at Athrun.

"How old are you now?" Athrun asked curiously.

"21, anyways…I stay at her home sleeping in her bed…all the way up to ZAFT ball," Heine answered as Athrun choked on his drink. He hacked on the liquid loudly as Heine swallowed harshly realizing what he just said.

"Excuse me?!" he gasped quietly.

Heine blushed, "Oh…I didn't mean it in that way! Ayame was very persistent that I should sleep in her bed…in her room while she took the messy guest bedroom. She was so kind. So gentle…so dear…I never went with Ayame to the Z.A.F.T. ball…but I danced with her…and at the time I met the scariest man in my life…"

---

"You know, you're supposed to dance and socialize with people at balls…not read," Heine chuckled sitting next to Ayame.

"Really?" Ayame mumbled not looking up from her book even once. He grinned warmly watching the girl read her book. The music filled the air along with sounds of cheer and laughter.

"I'm not the great at doing this but……………wo-would you care to dance?" Heine asked quietly.

"No," Ayame snapped, "don't you have a date or something to get back to?!" Her face was distorted into a harsh angry expression as she glared into Heine's eyes.

"No…I came alone…" Heine said softly. Quickly Ayame's feelings and distorted expression dropped. Her mouth gaped open and her eyes became innocent and sorrowful. Heine stared back before blushing softly.

"I'm…I'm sorry…I thought…because…well you know," Ayame stumbled as Heine took the book away from her. He placed the book called, "Chained heart," on the chair behind him before taking Ayame's hand softly.

"I've…I've been watching you this whole time…You seem like you're yearning to dance. I…wanted…want to dance with only one person…I turned down every other girl for you…I want you…I'm not a great dancer…It's the end of the night…and I have FINALLY worked up the courage to ask you…Please don't turn me down," Heine begged pulling Ayame to her feet.

"I would be glad to accompany you," Ayame mumbled as her heart began to pound and palms began to sweat. She was red as a cherry as her escort pulled her onto the dance floor.

"Are you ready?" Heine asked softly feeling his cheeks fluster. She quietly nodded as he began to lead her gracefully about on the dance floor. Their dance was rigid and structured with no emotional emphasis in the beginning. They were awkward and stiff as they stared into each others eyes.

"Hold me?" Ayame asked shyly wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Oh, sure," Heine whispered pulling her close, his arms enclosing around her waist. _I don't want this to end…I'm really glad he asked me to dance…_Ayame thought resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," Ayame chuckled warmly.

"Hm? You're welcome. Do you want to sit down? Are you tired?" Heine asked whispering into her ear.

"No…Please don't stop dancing with me," Ayame replied. _I feel like expressing my emotional side to him…but how? _She asked herself blushing softly.

"Has anyone ever told you...your glasses magnify the beauty of your eyes?" Heine said warmly. He brushed her face lovingly causing her to blush to redden.

"N-No, n-no-Hei- I mean no-nobody ha-has," Ayame answered.

"Really?" Heine asked rubbing her back softly, "I know people turn away from you because you have those glasses but I think you're one of the most beautiful girls in the PLANTs."

"Wha-What?" Ayame asked moving her head away from his shoulder. Her heart began to pound loudly and quickly inside her head as their heads moved closer together. They kissed each other lovingly before breaking it quickly. Shocked by their own actions Ayame and Heine panted loudly.

"Hey what are you doing with my date?" a man asked pulling Ayame and Heine apart. Heine froze quickly examining the man. He had green hair, blue orange eyes, and outranked Heine by a mile.

"Mamoru!" Ayame cried out wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Mamoru," Heine muttered.

"Heine this is my brother, Mamoru. Mamoru this is…uh…my date?" Ayame answered.

"Nice to meet you," Mamoru chuckled extending his hand. Shocked by his actions Heine saluted instead.

"Excuse me for being so rude," Heine answered.

"No you're not. Heine, will you excuse us?" Mamoru asked leading his sister away from him.

"Bye," Heine answered being left alone on the dance floor. His heart was still pounding as he walked off the dance floor.

"I see you were dancing with young four eyes," Kane chuckled punching his arm.

"And your point?" Heine asked pocketing his shaking hands.

"You kissed her…YOU kissed her!" Kane accused.

---

"Ayame, can you tell me what the hell you're doing?!" Mamoru demanded pulling her to a secluded area.

"I was dancing," Ayame answered.

"Yeah…I saw that….Everyone saw that! You kissed him! What about your fiancée?!…Well sorry! I should've said husband!" Mamoru asked harshly. Ayame looked down sadly before tears began to develop in her eyes.

"Yukio…dumped me…" Ayame cried.

"What? He…I'm so sorry Aya-chan," Mamoru whispered pulling his sister close to him.

"Yes…Heine was there…He's been very kind to me," Ayame answered trying to dry her red eyes.

"Come on don't cry…Heine will want to take you home. Let's get back before he gets worried," Mamoru answered. She followed him back to the ball quietly blotting her eyes dry. She loved her brother dearly. He was always looking out for her. He had always…now and forever been her protector.

"Well here she is…I'm sorry that I upset her a little…but she'll be alright," Mamoru apologized pushing Ayame into his chest.

"Ah…Thank you sir," Heine answered hugging Ayame tightly.

"I'll see you at home Aya-chan," Mamoru chimed rubbing her back softly before leaving.

"Are you alright?" Heine asked worried. Leaning his head on hers for comfort.

"Yeah…I'll be alright," Ayame answered as he kissed her cheek softly.

---

"Then I took her home…Nothing really happened after that…She went upstairs and went to sleep. I don't know why I was surprised to see that her brother was at home," Heine chuckled softly.

"Where is her brother now?" Athrun asked curiously.

"I really don't know…I fill in the details when I get to that part of the story," Heine answered.

"A-Alright," Athrun answered confused.

"I know this is a bit confusing but it'll come together very soon. I promise," Heine said truthfully.


	8. Chapter 8

Never Look Back Chapter 8

---

"After the hotel scene…that wasn't the last time I saw Yukio. He planned out an elaborate rape murder-suicide. He became so distraught that Yukio decided that if he couldn't have her no one would," Heine said gripping his glass tightly.

"Did her really want her that badly?" Athrun asked.

"I guess…I never got to personally know him. Ayame tel-told me that he loved jokes…he was kind…I guess loving too…but she had never kissed him…heck she had never kissed anyone outside of her family besides me. I know it sounds strange…but it's true. I remember my jaw dropped when I heard it," Heine chuckled.

Athrun chuckled hesitantly, "Any particular reason why?"

"She said that because of some religious reason…he couldn't kiss her until they were married. Even though she really wanted to…he never allowed her to. I still hate him. He hurt Ayame…he's still alive right now…but I'm getting ahead of myself, the day started off pretty normal…I got to know Ayame's siblings better especially little Jun she asked me…

---

"Do you like Onee-chan?" Jun asked curiously twirling a loch of hair while digging her little finger into her little nose. Heine had been waiting for Ayame to emerge from the guest bedroom for little more than an hour.

"Onee-chan?" asked a confused Heine.

"Sissy…Ayame-chan…silly," Jun giggled wiping her little hand on her dress.

"Yes I like her. She's a good friend," Heine answered as Jun climbed onto his lap.

"No no…do you love Ayame-chan?" Jun whispered into Heine's ear. He blushed heavily turning away from Jun. Jun chuckled softly twirling her hair again.

"What makes you think that?" Heine asked fumbling with her small her hand.

"Because I think Onee-chan likes you!" Jun cheered clapping her hands together. She giggled loudly as Heine stiffened with shock. _She likes me? Wait…don't get ahead of yourself…Maybe she likes you but what if Ayame doesn't love you? _Heine thought pessimistically.

"Where is your sister anyways?" Heine asked touching his glowing face. Jun put her hand to her mouth in thought before looking back at Heine.

"Toshiro-chan took her to the basement abooouuuuttt 3 hours ago…She hasn't come up since. Is that bad?" Jun asked.

"Do you wanna check on her?" Heine asked his heart pounding loudly in his head. _Three hours?! Something doesn't seem right here…Ayame seems like the type of girl who would tell people where she is and for how long, _Heine thought picking up Jun.

"Okay," Jun replied clinging to Heine's shoulder.

"Could you tell me where the basement is?" Heine asked carrying the little lady down the hall.

"Yeah…down the hall to the lreft," Jun muttered into his ear. Heine followed her commands taking her to the door leading her down the hall.

"Why don't you stay up here," Heine grunted placing the four year old on the ground.

"awww…Okay," Jun whined sitting on the floor. Heine nodded patting the girl's head before opening the door and heading down the stairs. The basement was dark and there were soft sobs at the back of the room.

"Ayame? Are you there?" Heine called out flipping the light switch at the bottom.

"STAY AWAY! YOU'RE INTERRUPTING OUR WEDDING!" Yukio screamed before going back to sobbing.

"Take it easy…I just want to see Ayame," Heine asked hiding behind a set of boxes.

"No…No one gets to see Ayame…we need wedding pictures!" Yukio cried out as Ayame groaned weakly. _What happened? We were in love…Then it died…then I found…then this happened…_Ayame thought as her head screamed with pain.

"Hey…I'm the photographer…I just want you to relax. I just want to survey the area before I set up my camera and lights. Is that okay?" Heine thought cleverly.

"Yes…the photographer," Yukio muttered pulling out a gun.

"Yeah…so may I see the happy couple?" Heine asked gulping quietly. He heard Jun shrieked loudly, the gun shot ring through the air and the sting of the bullet grazing his head._ This man is crazy! I can't believe Ayame loved him…_Heine thought covering his head just in case he fired again.

"STAY AWAY FROM AYAME! I HATE YOU! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU I LOST AYAME! I LOST HER TO SOME GUY WHO STOOD BY HER SIDE AND MADE AYAME CHEAT! PLEASE STOP IT! GO AWAY! AYAME IS MY FIANCEE! SHE IS MINE! NOT YOURS! SHE'S MY GOD DAMN VIRGIN!!!!" Yukio screamed as Heine went to the floor holding his head. Jun was still shrieking upstairs causing the youngest, Masumi to also join in.

"Please…Please…I want you two to be happy. Please lower the weapon. I just want to see if Ayame is alright," Heine said soothingly.

"What's going on down here?" Mamoru hollered running down the stairs.

"Oh Mamoru…you're here to save Ayame from that German guy…Yes…Take this...kill him…I hit him once already…" Yukio muttered in a dream like stance sliding the gun to Mamoru's feet.

"Yukio…look what you've done! I've already called the police…and an ambulance. Just turn yourself in right now before you harm anyone else," Mamoru reasoned. Heine held the side of his head tightly to control the bleeding running down.

"It wasn't me! It was her! She stopped loving me!" Yukio accused pointing at Ayame.

"Yukio…I promise that if you turn yourself in…you won't be in as much trouble. Okay?" Mamoru pleaded helping Heine to his feet. This was the first time he had actually seen Ayame since the night before. She laid sprawled out on the floor in a white wedding dress. Her head was surrounded in cut hair and the dark red of her blood.

"No! I'm staying with Ayame," Yukio snapped.

"Stop it Yukio…We don't want to hurt you. When the cops come they'll take you down. Ayame needs help…She'll bleed to death. If you really do love her then you're not going to allow her to die. Correct?" Mamoru persuaded hearing sirens upstairs.

"I don't want you visiting her…As her husband you cannot see my wife!" Yukio barked pointing at Heine with a bloody finger.

"I'm sorry that I can't keep your promise. After she gets out of the hospital Ayame will need someone to look after her," Heine answered

---

"She's one lucky girl. If he hit her head at least one more time, she would have had possible brain damage or lost of memory," the doctor informed Mamoru just outside her room.

"Thanks…I was really worried about her. How about the boy? Westenfluss Heine?" Mamoru asked looking into the room.

"He's alright. He doesn't need any sutures. He is also very lucky. IF that man had known where he was, I bet he would have been dead right now," the doctor answered.

"Where is he right now? I know you want Ayame to be watched over night before anyone can visit her," Mamoru asked.

"He was an out patient…Last time I saw him he was wandering the waiting room," the doctor answered.

"I'm going to check on him. Thank you for everything you've done Doctor Charles," Mamoru thanked shaking the doctor's hand. Mamoru walked to the waiting room finding Heine surrounded by his siblings. Masumi was asleep on his lap and Jun was clinging on to his arm in terror. Toshiro was holding on to the back of Mitsuho's shirt.

"Heine, shouldn't you be lying down?" Mamoru chuckled walking up to him.

"Mamoru!" Jun cried running to her older brother. Hiding her head in his legs she sobbed loudly.

"Come on Jun. It wasn't that bad. Now stop making a scene," Mamoru said soothingly.

"Uh…I guess you're right sir," Heine answered rocking the small girl so she wouldn't wake up.

"You don't have to call me sir all the time. Just in u.n.i.f.o.r.m." Mamoru whispered.

---

"I didn't get to stay with Ayame through her first night. Heck she didn't wake up the first day or the day after that," Heine chuckled hysterically. Athrun shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Heine's laugh calmed down to a soft simmer.

"Was she in a coma?" Athrun asked as Heine nibbled on a pretzel.

"No…at least they did not admit it to me or the Honda family. She woke up at 8 on the second day…She was really surprised to see me…" Heine smiled warmly.

---

"Ugh…my head hurts," Ayame groaned tossing her head back and forth. She yawned tiredly before trying to reach up to scratch her head. It was already occupied by an object, another hand. She traced the hand to an arm and the arm to a shoulder and the shoulder to a body with a head of thick orange hair. Weakly Ayame went through his hair in a loving manner. _I never noticed how much he really cared for me. Yukio defiantly was not the one for me. Heine finally opened my eyes. If Yukio really cared for me…he wouldn't have played those tricks on me, he would have been there for me. Heine…Westenfluss Ayame…I love the sound of that…Oh my…am I getting ahead of myself, _Ayame thought as her face turned pink. He woke up suddenly inhaling quickly.

"Ayame?" Heine asked rubbing his eye gently.

"How long have you been here?" Ayame asked cocking her head to one side gently. _She's so cute when she's curious _Heine thought scratching his head sheepishly.

"About a day in a half…Mamoru had to watch the little ones. He told me to stay here with you. You looked so peaceful…I didn't want to disturb you," Heine said softly staring at her short hair. There was a double knock on the door before her doctor entered the room.

"Ah, Ayame you're awake!" he expressed cheerfully. "Who is this lucky guy?"

"My boyfriend…At least if he lets me be," Ayame chuckled lovingly holding on to his hand. Heine blushed softly before giving her a soft kiss to the head. He was too speechless to answer.


	9. Chapter 9

Never Look Back Chapter 9

---

"She stayed in the hospital for three days and by that time I was transferred back to the Hawkins team," Heine informed taking out his wallet.

"So you left her at the hospital?" Athrun asked fumbling with his glass.

"Huh? Oh no. She was transferred with me. At that time we were not able to get on board since they were in a skirmish. If I remember correctly they needed two pilots and the team we formed had extra," Heine answered.

"When did your ship come in?" Athrun asked curiously looking up at Heine.

"Eight days after she was out of the hospital. She was still too weak to pilot her mobile suit when we boarded. I was still skeptical about her feelings towards me. I wasn't sure if they were true or lust from being in the relationship with Yukio. Her brother, Mamoru is very cunning. He made me take care of her so our relationship would grow," Heine smiled.

"You never told me what happened to her. Um…what were her injuries?" Athrun asked softly not wanting to upset him.

"I didn't? I thought I did. Yukio hit her in the back of the head with some type of blunt object. Then she bruised her forehead when she hit the floor unconscious. At least that's what she believes what happened. Anyways I'm going to skip the time we had off. Only thing she really did was sleep," Heine chuckled.

"Okay," Athrun answered.

"No…actually I will tell you…she did change somewhat," Heine answered thoughtfully. "It was a rather quiet day when she came home…

---

"Ayame don't rush things. We don't want you to pass out," Mamoru reasoned helping the weak woman out of the car.

"I'm fine…I don't need help! I'm independent!" Ayame cried out before losing her balance. Mamoru chuckled softly picking her and carrying her into the house.

"Heine will want to take care of you. How can you not need help without him there for you? Please…I want you to act helpless for him," Mamoru whispered into Ayame's ear.

"Sissy's home!!!!" Jun cheered running to her brother and sister. "What happened to your head?"

"Oh nothing…I just got a big Owie. That's it," Ayame muttered as Mamoru helped her to the floor.

"Guess what Sissy! Guess what Onee-chan!" Jun asked yanking on Ayame's sleeve. Ayame followed the young girl knowing that Jun wanted to show her something really badly.

"What Jun-chan?" Ayame questioned lovingly.

"Heine-san taught me to fix pancakes, and how to twist the top off of Oreos without breaking them and how to make cookies and how to tie my shoes and how to count to 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19…20!" She giggled jumping up and down inside the kitchen. The kitchen was dark and mysterious before Ayame flipped the switch.

"Welcome home, Miss. Ayame," Heine smiled warmly holding a bouquet of flowers for Ayame. Ayame blushed gently fiddling with her hands. _He's a great friend. I love him…I really do…I love him so much. I really hope he loves me too…Heine's so handsome…_Ayame thought before giggling bashfully.

"Masumi-chan! Heine-sama needs to move!" Jun cried out watching the small girl attach herself to Heine's leg.

"Pick me! Pick me!" Masumi muttered stretching her arms out to Heine. He laughed loudly scooping up the bubbly two year old.

"Do you want to see Ayame's flowers?" he asked curiously as the girl pulled off a pedal from a rose. He extended a hand to Ayame beckoning her closer. Bashfully she moved closer wobbling from time to time as she entered Heine's grip.

"Hello," she whispered as Heine kissed her forehead softly.

"If you feel well enough do you want to dance?" he whisper back as Masumi pulled out more pedals.

"Masumi stop that. You know better," Ayame ordered placing the little girl on the floor.

"'Kay," Masumi mumbled before standing up to find her teddy bear.

"Do you still want to dance?" Heine asked brushing a few stray strands of hair out of her face.

"Actually…I want to sit down," Ayame whispered tiredly.

"No, you're going to sleep Ayame. The doctor told you that you need plenty of sleep," Mamoru ordered pointing to her room.

"But I just want to sit down," Ayame whined playfully as Mamoru took the bouquet from Heine.

"Go rest. Heine will stay with you. Won't you Heine?" Mamoru answered.

"Yes. I'll stay," Heine responded without hesitation. _Wow so determined…maybe Ayame will finally have someone who is committed to her. Heine seems genuine while Yukio was always questionable, _Mamoru thought dipping the flowers into a vase filled with water.

"Fine," Ayame sighed as Heine pushed Ayame into her room.

"I guess you should change into something more comfortable and I'll watch you…I mean I'll watch you sleep. Not watch you dress. That would be weird. I would never want to do that. Because that would be awkward," Heine answered blushing softly.

"Relax Heine. I knew what you meant," Ayame giggled caressing his face softly.

"I'll…I'll be outside," Heine suggested leaving her to change.

"Hm…what pajamas should I wear? I wonder which one Heine would like? I like this one. I think he like's the color orange," Ayame thought out loud. She slipped into the silky orange Cami and shorts.

"You can come watch me now," Ayame giggled getting into her bed. He entered the room quietly shutting the door behind him.

"Hey I'll help you lie down," Heine began soothingly; "I know that if you lay down too quickly you'll get a huge headache." He took her head in his hand guiding her down to the pillow.

"Kiss me?" Ayame asked holding on to Heine's hand. Her face was red with fear and embarrassment. Their faces were already close together although Heine tried to pull away.

"Excuse me?" Heine asked bewildered as his heart beat loudly in his chest and head.

"Kiss me…I mean would you kiss me good night?" Ayame asked staring into his eyes.

"Of course," Heine muttered kissing Ayame's injured forehead. He hesitated for a long time before kissing Ayame's lips softly. _I always melt in his grip…I never want this to end…_Ayame thought.

"Hey Ayame I brought you some extra pillo-Well hello you two," Mamoru chuckled as Heine pulled away from Ayame.

"Hello sir," Heine answered standing at attention.

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have to do that here. Just call me Mamoru. No sir…I'm not giving you any commands so you don't need to be so formal," Mamoru answered waving his attention away with his hand.

"But sir…" Heine trailed as Mamoru propped Ayame's head up on the extra pillows.

"Mamoru. Stop being so formal. Quiet honestly I hate the formality. Respect me but you don't have to call me commander," Mamoru answered. "Aren't we all the same on the battlefield?"

"Well yes si-Ma-Mamoru," Heine answered hesitantly.

"Please…don't feel awkward. I mean you're dating my little sister," Mamoru answered feeling Ayame's forehead. She felt warm which he expected.

"Mamoru…I'm no-not…" Ayame began before getting cut off by Mamoru.

"You said it yourself at the hospital," Mamoru said with a wave of his finger.

"Well yeah…but I don't think we have officially started dating yet," Heine reasoned.

"Well you kissed her on the lips…I call that "official" dating," Mamoru answered.

"I think he's beaten us, Ayame," Heine chuckled sitting next to Ayame. Mamoru smiled warmly before leaving the room quietly. _I feel that these two will be together for a long time _Mamoru thought picking up little Masumi. She giggled loudly latching on to her older brother.

"Um…Heine…Could you lay down with me?" Ayame asked.

"Ah…In the same bed?" Heine asked quietly. She nodded quickly feeling her cheeks turn pink.

"Ayame…I think you're being a little delusional now," Heine answered blushing softly as well.

"I guess…Nighty night!" she yawned closing her eyes. Within seven minutes Ayame was fast asleep in their soft bed.

--- (New Day)

"I'm going to be transferred back to the Hawkins Team?" Heine asked as Mamoru handed him the papers.

"Yeah…Two of the pilots went AWOL so they're transferring you back and your _girlie _will be going with you," Mamoru joked holding Jun tightly.

"Aw…Heine-sama will not stay?" Jun asked sadly.

"Heine will stay for now," Heine answered patting Jun on the head.

"I want Heine-sama to stay forever," Jun mumbled rubbing her eyes as tears streamed down her face.

"Oh little Jun he won't be leaving right now. And this won't be the last time you see Heine," Mamoru suggested kissing the little girl on the cheek.

"Heine will leave…I want Heine to stay," Jun cried loudly.

"You know what Jun. I'm going to stay and once I leave I'll tell you and I'll give you a deep loving hug so you won't be able to forget me," Heine suggested taking Jun away from Mamoru. He hugged her tightly playing with her tight green curls.

"Okay! I'm going to go play with Mitsuho," Jun cheered pushing herself off Heine's lap.

"Mitsuho seems like a quiet kid. I never see him. Where does he go?" Heine asked curiously.

"He is quiet. He never talks much. Mitsuho only speaks his mind to Ayame. He loves her a lot. Hey come closer…the next thing I'm going to tell you remains between us," Mamoru said quietly pulling Heine close.

"Alright?" Heine questioned as Mamoru looked around to see if anyone else was in the room.

"Mitsuho was in the basement was **"it" **happened. The detectives found him in a corner frightened…literally stuff. The reason why he was trying to get away from Toshiro was to see Ayame," Mamoru explained before seeing a shadow figure emerge.

"Mamoru I hopeyou're not scaring him," Ayame slurred wobbling into the living room.

"Ayame you should be laying down!" Heine expressed worriedly getting up from his seat.

"Oh…I'mfine," Ayame muttered as she began to lose consciousness.

"Stay conscious Ayame!" Heine called out grabbing her by the arm.

"Make sure her head doesn't hit the…you're already thought of that," Mamoru ordered as Heine held her head tightly. _He caught her just in time. Talk about luck, determination and love _Mamoru thought lovingly.

"Come on…wake up Ayame…" Heine whispered soothingly. He rubbed her back gently as she came around slowly as Mamoru fanned her face.

"Heine?" Ayame asked slowly.

"Yeah…Lets get you back in bed," Heine whispered into her ear. Lovingly he leaned her head on to his shoulder before picking her up.

"I feel dizzy," Ayame muttered as Heine carried her into her room.

"That's why I'm carrying you Ayame," Heine chuckled.

"Hold me," Ayame muttered.

"That's what I'm doing sleepy head," Heine whispered kissing her cheek softly. He tucked her in making sure her was properly elevated.

"Thanks…you're a real pal," Ayame giggled weakly.

"I know. Now get your rest," Heine soothed going through her bangs gently. She blushed softly as her eyes began to close minutes later.

"Yukio…liked short hair," she was able to murmur before falling into a blissful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Never Look Back Chapter 10

---

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Heine expressed cheerfully as Ayame yawned tiredly. He leaned over slowly and kissed her forehead.

"How long was I out?" Ayame asked turning a light pink.

"You fell asleep at about 7:30pm and now its 10:50am…So I guess a long time," Heine answered.

"Really?! I gotta get dressed! There's so much to do! And that I have to finish!" Ayame cried moving quickly.

"Wait Stop! Stop! Stop!" Heine muttered holding her in place. Ayame squirmed quickly before crying out in pain.

"I just got a huge headache," Ayame groaned lying her head against her pillow.

Heine sighed, "that's what you get for squirming." Although he was annoyed he smiled warmly going through her bangs once again. She shivered slightly holding herself tightly.

"Yukio liked short hair," she mumbled as tears came to her eyes.

"Why did you tell me that?" Heine asked quietly feeling his heart fill up with anger.

"He cut my hair. To please him I would cut it short but since I joined Z.A.F.T. I let it grow. He cut it…and put me in my wedding dress…while I was unconscious," Ayame whispered softly.

"Oh…you don't have to keep it that way," Heine soothed rubbing her back softly.

"Do you like short hair or long hair?" Ayame asked as Heine helped her sit up. _Generally I like long hair…but I don't want to bias her answer or force her to do something that she doesn't want to do. I want her to be happy. Besides…I still think she's beautiful no matter what type of hair she has, _Heine thought leaning her head on to his shoulder.

"I want you to be happy. What do you like?" Heine asked rocking her gently.

"_But _you didn't answer my question!" Ayame retaliated sitting up to stare him in the eyes. _She looks so innocent…so cute…I can't keep it from her…_Heine thought.

Heine sighed, "I think you will look beautiful with either short hair or long hair."

"You still haven't answered my question," Ayame mumbled weakly pushing on him so he would lie down on her bed. He chuckled softly agreeing to her whims lying on top of her pillows.

"Well if I told you, you would automatically do what I say…so I want you to be happy so I'm. Not. Going. To. Tell. You," Heine chuckled as Ayame's face scrunched with frustration.

"I like my hair long…I look too much like a boy with it short…I like it when guys can pull their hands through it," Ayame mumbled blushing in a bright red tint. Heine smiled ruffling her short hair and sitting up to kiss her cheeks.

"You're shaking. Don't worry…I'm not mad at you. I could never be. I will still love you no matter if you have short hair or long hair," Heine soothed rubbing her back gently.

"I am hungry," Ayame whispered as her stomach growled loudly.

"I'm still not mad at you Turtle Dove," Heine answered kissing her hands softly.

"Turtle Dove?" Ayame asked as Heine sat up quickly. Swinging his legs over the side Heine pushed off on to the floor. He helped her to her feet wrapping her arm around his neck for support.

"Yes Turtle Dove," Heine answered.

"Why do you call me Turtle Dove?" Ayame asked as he escorted her out of the room. He paused outside of her room swaying her in the dim light slowly.

"Because a Turtle Dove represents devoted love and I am devoted to you from now on to forever," Heine smiled kissing her lips gently. She squirmed slightly running out of breath to sustain herself. He broke the kiss quickly as Ayame regained her breath.

"I've never kissed someone," Ayame cried loudly.

"Shush! You'll be alright! There's nothing to be ashamed of. Ayame you'll be alright," Heine soothed covering her mouth quickly as tears streamed down her cheeks slowly.

"Hey my little sister is finally awake," Mamoru chuckled warmly.

"She's a little frightened at the moment," Heine expressed transferring Ayame to her brother's arms.

"Frightened? Why are frightened my dear?" Mamoru asked as Ayame cried on Mamoru.

"I…I just have…Don't let me go back with Yukio! Please…I'm afraid of him!" Ayame cried out.

"Heine…I'm going to take her into her room so she can calm down. Could you watch Masumi and Jun?" Mamoru asked politely, muffling Ayame's cried.

"Alright," agreed Heine. Gently Mamoru pushed Ayame through her bedroom door way waving good bye to Heine.

"Why do you make Ayame cry?" a small voice asked from behind Heine.

"huh?" Heine responded turning around to see Mitsuho behind him.

"Why do you make Ayame suffer?" the boy asked softly.

"I don't believe I'm making her suffer. She's been under a lot of pressure and her mind is under a lot of stress," Heine answered.

"Ayame is suffering. Ever since you came along Ayame has not been happy. I will admit she's been happy with you but she hasn't been happy," Mitsuho answered.

Heine sighed, "I love your sister. I'm trying to make her the happiest woman in the world but it's not working as well as I thought it would. Right now I'm trying to give her hope. If that's all that I can do…even if she doesn't decide to date me. Even if she doesn't love me. All I want to give her hope."

"I want Ayame-chan to be safe. Ayame acts strong but she's weak on the inside. Could you do me a favor?" Mitsuho asked kindly.

"Of course," Heine responded automatically picking up the small Masumi that had collected at his feet.

"Protect Ayame at all costs…if not…if not…I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOU!" Mitsuho screamed before running off to his room and slamming the door.

---

"I hate that I couldn't keep his promise," Heine answered looking at the empty glasses around him. "I promised to protect her and then…sorry about that. I'll be alright." Heine pinched her eyes slowly giving Athrun a smile.

"Commander," Athrun spoke softly.

"No…no…I'll be alright! Honestly, I'm going to be fine," Heine answered chuckling to himself.

_Flashback:_

_"Just relax Ayame. Everything will be alright. We'll stop the bleeding…and…and we'll get you back on track," Heine whispered petting Ayame's head with a shaking hand._

_"Heine…do-don't tr-try to co-cover it…I'm dy-dying," Ayame muttered as blood trickled into her eyes._

_"No your not! Don't give up on me! What about Hana! What about Hana! Don't lose faith!" Heine cried squeezing her hand tightly._

_"FA-FAITH…Tha-That wa-was a j-joke," Ayame chuckled suffering from a series of chills._

_End Flashback:_

"Commander? Are you there? Maybe you had too much to drink," Athrun suggested shaking Heine softly.

"Hm? Oh sorry did I space out there? Now where was I…well I'm going to skip most parts of the Great War…you already know what happened…When she first boarded my ship she was a hollow of her former self. A couple months onboard she rebounded becoming a happier woman," Heine expressed. "She would jump on me. Hug me. Follow me. Surprise me. The only thing she would hate is when I would corner her or try to kiss her. She became embarrassed quickly. I loved that about her."

---

"Heine…wake up…Heine!" Ayame giggled.

"Huh?" he replied sheepishly. Opening his eyes he noticed Ayame straddling his waist shaking his shoulder softly.

"Good Morning! You've been in the hangar this whole time. What were you working on?" Ayame asked massaging his shoulders gently.

"Oh…just a program analysis…Did you sleep here too?" Heine asked.

"No, I just came down here and found you here," Ayame answered.

"Do you normally give massages?" Heine asked leaning up to kiss her.

"No…Heine don't kiss me here!" Ayame cried turning red.

"Please…Come on…Just once," Heine whined playfully.

"You said that yesterday! AND the day before that!" Ayame cried as Heine kissed her cheeks.

"I love you," Heine smiled.

"What?" Ayame asked blushing deeply.

"I love you. With the war going on I don't think I say it enough. I love you Ayame. I want to say it to you more. Before battles after battles…So much that you begin to hate me for saying it!" Heine expressed happily.

"Heine," Ayame muttered getting off of him.

"You two are so close. I'm jealous," Commander Hawkins chuckled as the two young soldiers saluted.

"Good morning to you Commander Hawkins," Ayame answered.

"I still don't understand why the people on your ship hated you. You are a very kind and loving woman. I mean you hexed this guy here," Hawkins answered. She giggled softly seeing that Heine was blushing.

"I accidentally found out a sex scandal happening on board," Ayame blurted. She covered her mouth quickly realizing she blurted out the wrong thing.

"A sex scandal?" Heine asked holding on to Ayame. She looked away from his curious gaze feeling insecurity take over her body.

"Yes…I-I don't wa-want to talk about it," Ayame hesitated.

"Lets not talk about this. I have some good news for you," Commander Hawkins informed sensing the awkward vibes from Ayame.

"Really? What is it Sir?" Ayame asked still avoiding Heine's gaze. _What type of sex scandal. I wonder what Ayame saw...I hope it wasn't that bad...How could anyone hate Ayame? She's so gentle and loving..._Heine thought in a dream-like state.

"Well it's been about 6 months and with the new operation well underway the whole ship received some time off, 2 weeks and a half. We'll be docking in September 7. Your parents live there right Heine?" Hawkins asked politely.

Heine sighed, "Unfortunately…I guess it would be okay to visit them. And since Ayame and I have been together for about 7 months…I guess it would be best to let her meet them." Ayame looked back at him curiously seeing that his interest were not in talking. She adjusted her glasses quickly to see if her eyes were not the problem.

"What's wrong Heine. Don't you like your parents?" Hawkins asked.

"Like would be an understatement. Sure I love my parents immensely…but they just have qualities that…Oh it's nothing. I don't want to bias Ayame's opinion before meeting them," Heine chuckled hesitantly.

"I'm looking forward to meeting them Heine," Ayame giggled lovingly. _Now you will but later on you won't…The treatment you'll receive from them will cause you to hate me…_Heine thought sighing quickly as Ayame snuggled against him.

"Good luck with your meeting," Hawkins suggested patting Heine on his shoulder before leaving quietly.

"What are they like Heine," Ayame asked with a gentle sigh.

"They're…They're snobs…" Heine spat tightening his grip around Ayame causing her to squirm.

"You say that with such anger. Would you like to talk about it?" Ayame asked quietly. He shook his head trying to give her a smile. She frowned sadly as Heine turned away from her.

"My shift is about to begin…I'll meet up with you later…" Heine muttered leaving her on the ground floating up to his mobile suit.

"Okay…If you want to talk about…I'm always free to!" Ayame called out after him. _What could his parents have done to make him so angry? _Ayame thought holding her hands close to her heart.


	11. Chapter 11

Never Look Back Chapter 11

---

"Like I told Ayame I do not like my parents. Coming from a family…how should I put this…Coming from a family that is well off my parents don't like talking to "trashy" people. People like Ayame…She has a modest family. The type of family my parents believe "hurt" our society, especially since her parents are dead. My parents are fine with people of the same status or people of higher status. Just those who are not…My parents were close to disowning me because I married Ayame. The only reason why they didn't care is because she had two special traits," Heine accused gripping the glass tightly.

"Were your parents rude to her?" Athrun asked seeing the anger in Heine's eyes.

"Yes. My mother would say things like, "My don't you look heavy today. You'll stop traffic," "I wonder how my poor Heine is surviving on _this_ food?!" "How can you call yourself a woman if you can't cook?! My Heine can cook better food than you." And various other things," Heine answered.

"Was she really that harsh?" Athrun asked bewildered at the comments Heine announced.

"Yeah…Ayame was too naïve to notice at times. The other times she would go home bawling. She would be so hurt…But she would never let me do anything about it," Heine began.

"WHAT?!" Athrun blurted out. He turned a little pink causing Heine to laugh.

"Yeah…She wouldn't let me do anything, I mean Ayame that is. Ayame would always tell me not to fight with my parents. I can honestly tell you that Ayame would cry if and when we fought. You never want to create a fight…I just hated the way my parents treated her," Heine explained.

---

"A Limo?" Ayame asked holding her bag tightly within her hands. _I've never ridden in a limo…what is Heine doing?_ Ayame thought looking up at her boyfriend.

"Yeah…It'll take us to my parents," Heine grumbled.

"Okay," Ayame answered feeling that Heine wasn't in the mood for questions.

"Hey…Don't mind me…If I treat you horribly you have every right to hit me, alright?" Heine cautioned.

"I…I don't want to hit you. Please don't say stuff like that," Ayame countered.

"Sorry. Come on…Mother and Father hate waiting," Heine sighed helping Ayame into the limo.

"Hold me," Ayame muttered throwing her arms around his neck. He smiled lovingly feeling her body tense and shake.

"Alright," Heine chuckled rubbing her back softly. He kissed her lips softly causing the muscles in her body relaxed.

"I love you…turtle dove," Ayame giggled tapping his nose playfully.

"Turtle Dove eh? But you're Turtle Dove." Heine questioned curiously.

"Yeah I am…With a capital "T" and a capital "D". You're turtle dove with a lower case "t" and a lower case "d" alright my love dove!" Ayame chimed. Heine chuckled gently holding her lovingly. Gazing out of the windows at the beautiful scenery as it quickly changed into large mansions.

"WAHHHH!!! Look at all the mansions!" Ayame gasped staring out the windows.

"Yeah…They're my neighbors," Heine answered.

"What?" Ayame asked focusing on Heine's face. _Did I hear him right?! He lives here?! _Ayame thought focusing in on every word he would say.

"These people are my neighbors," Heine acknowledged.

"WAHHHH!!! REALLY?!" Ayame begged shaking him.

"Yes, yes. Calm down Ayame!" Heine cried out grabbing on to her shoulders to soothe her. They sat in silence as the limo made a right on to Heine's long drive way.

"I…I…I'm way too primitive for you!" Ayame declared covering her face in shame. _I can't be doing this…I'm staying with Heine this whole time…I'm…I'm not worthy…he's rich…I'm poor…_Ayame thought as Heine wrapped his arms around her.

"Look…Ayame…I don't care what your status is…I love you for who you are. When we first met status didn't matter and it shouldn't matter now," Heine suggested holding her cheeks close to his face. Thinking about it over carefully Ayame nodded her head.

"Right it shouldn't come in between us…Silly for me to think of that," Ayame chuckled hesitantly.

"Now smile for me," Heine begged playfully. He frowned at her hesitant smile as the limo stopped.

"Heine…I don't know…about this anymore," Ayame expressed fiddling with her hands.

"Ayame don't let this come between us…We're more than status! We can over come it as long as you believe…Please…I don't want to lose you…" Heine begged pulling Ayame into a deep hug. "I can't live with out you."

"Master Heine. We're here," the driver informed stepping out of the limo.

"It's alright…I can handle the door," Heine answered opening the door for himself and Ayame.

"Please just in front of your house…I wouldn't be doing my job, Please Master Heine," the driver answered helping Ayame out of the limo. Disoriented Ayame looked up at the house as Heine joined her outside.

"Here's your bag Turtle Dove," Heine cooed slinging it over her shoulder.

"May I ask you who your fair lady is?" the driver asked kindly.

"This is Ayame. My turtle dove, my gentle lady, and my glasses wearing beauty. The love of my life," Heine elaborated. She blushed softly before giving a cordial bow.

"It is very nice to meet you sir," Ayame addressed.

"Master Heine does not like to use my name for unnamed reasons. I am Sir Alfred Arthur. I have known him since he was a small child," Sir Arthur replied bowing back to Ayame.

"Oh there he is! My little boy is finally a man!" a woman with black hair called out racing down the white marble steps. She approached the trio quickly thrusting her arms around Heine's neck.

"Hello…Mother," Heine bantered. She kissed his cheeks viciously before turning to Ayame.

"Who is this Heine-chen?" his mother asked flashing her emerald eyes at Ayame.

"Honda, Ayame. It is pleasure to meet you ma'am," Ayame coaxed giving her a formal Japanese bow.

"Oh so your family owns the car company. Good tastes Heine," his mother baited.

"Um…no. Honda is a rather popular surname I'm afraid. My family does not own the car company," Ayame answered bowing in apology.

"Heine…what about that nice German girl down the street…She'll be good to you," Heine's mother suggested.

"I've already told you mother, please stop playing match maker. I am very much in love with my Turtle Dove," Heine explained kissing Ayame's palm softly.

"Well I'm glad that we finally get to meet her…She's not of status…Which is a problem. Heine we have told you hundreds of times over and over. Marry someone of status. I mean this trash won't have that much in her dowry. We'd lose money instead of gaining it," his mother bashed.

"Is money all that I am to you?! I don't care about the money or the dowry! I only care about Ayame! And don't call her trash!" Heine spat embracing his young love.

"That's what she is…Trash…I mean look at her…She's the whore of the military…You know women who willingly join are only looking for sex," Heine's mother criticized as Heine grip on Ayame tightened.

"That's not true!...I had to…my parents died and there wasn't enough money to feed my siblings so I joined…" Ayame answered.

"Oh I'm sorry honey…I didn't mean to offend you," boomed the rich mother.

"She's not a whore," Heine muttered. "Apologize."

"Come on in," the woman beckoned.

"APOLOGIZE! SHE'S NOT A WHORE!" Heine screamed.

"Heine…don't worry about it…its fine…I'm a visitor in your household so there's no problem here," Ayame begged placing her hands on Heine's cold cheeks. He relaxed somewhat loosening the grip around her belly.

"Ayame it's not okay," Heine answered.

"Heine come inside," his mother beckoned again.

---

"So this is the little lady. Pleasure meeting you little lady," the orange haired man also called Heine's father.

"It's a pleasure to meet you sir. My name is Honda, Ayame," Ayame bowed.

"Japanese…What happened to your agreement in dating only German girls Heine?" his father asked.

"Again with the German thing," Heine snapped. His father laughed loudly poking at the food on his plate.

"Oh I'm sorry that we don't have any chopsticks for you…I hope you can use a knife and a fork," his mother suggested staring at Ayame's untouched food. She didn't answer as she continued to stare at the food on the plate. Heine tensed quietly trying to keep the dinner civil.

Worried Heine picked up her hand, "Ayame. Are you alright?" She snapped out of her small trance giving Heine a nod.

"So do you have any special traits?" his father asked as Ayame picked up her fork to eat something.

"Oh yes sir, I do. I can dance and I can speak over 18 languages," Ayame informed placing her fork down on the napkin.

"What languages?" his mother asked gaining curiosity in the young woman.

"My first was Japanese…I can also speak: English, French, German, Latin, Greece, Spanish, Chinese Cantonese and Mandarin, Korean, and Dutch to name a few," Ayame informed.

"How did your parents pay for all of this…I mean you don't have to money to," his mother asked bewildered.

"My parents were archeologists. When I was little we traveled all over the world. My parents required me to learn the languages when we went to a new research site," Ayame explained feeling her stomach growl loudly. Blushing softly Ayame looked at her food hungrily.

"Are you honey Hungry? I mean are you hungry Honey?" Heine said fumbling for the right words.

"Oh…yes…I just don't like to eat while talking to people," Ayame chuckled hesitantly.

"Eat _honey! _I don't want you to starve. You're thin already," his mother smirked gently.

"Oh yes…I will," Ayame answered picking up her fork again nibbling on a cold piece of ham. Heine went back to eating his food as well but held on to her hand to comfort her.

"So how long have you been together, Heinrich?" Heine's father asked forcefully.

"Um…A good seven and a half months," Heine answered quickly.

"Is your real name Heinrich, Heine?" Ayame asked curiously looking over at him. Placing her fork down, she adjusted her glasses quickly. His mother snickered quietly patting her lips gently with a napkin.

"No, it's my nickname. Heine is normally a nickname for Heinrich. My parents reversed it so Heine's my first name and Heinrich is my nickname," Heine explained leaning over and nuzzling Ayame's face. Blushing softly Ayame covered their hands with tender love.

"So how did you two meet?" his father asked as the young lovers returned to their meals.

"We were transferred to the same unit. She was cold and I allowed her to borrow my jacket," Heine explained staring into Ayame light blue eyes that were shaded by her square-framed glasses.

"Your initials are ASH right Ayame?" his mother asked curiously.

"Yes…they are…h-how did you know?" Ayame asked hesitantly.

"Oh we're doing a background check on you as we speak," she chuckled playfully. Heine sighed out of frustration quickly, releasing Ayame's hand.

"Mom…Dad…don't do this. Why do you have to do a background check on her?!" Heine muttered his anger being bottled up inside him. Sensing something was wrong Ayame laid her hand on his lower arm.

She ignored her son, "So what does the "S" in ASH stand for?"

"Serena," Ayame answered quietly. (A/N: since you can't hear how she pronounces it here's the pronunciation: ser-RAY-nah)

"I am pretty sure it's pronounced: ser-REE-nah," his mother answered.

"My parents and my family pronounce it, ser-ray-nah," Ayame answered. Heine watched his girlfriend yawn tiredly before getting a bright idea.

"Ayame, you look tired. Do you want to go to sleep?" Heine suggested brushing hairs out of her face.

"Oh, that would be delightful," Ayame yawned.

"We put you in Heine's room. We thought you'd be more comfortable in his room," his mother jeered lightly.

"Oh, mom we don't sleep in the same bed," Heine chuckled weakly.

"Well I guess you could try it out," she giggled playfully looking seductively at the couple.

"Mother, we don't…we don't sleep in the same bed," Heine answered again looking over at Ayame. She looked back uncomfortably, shifting in her seat.

"It's alright I don't want you two to be sleeping together. Imagine how dirty she is," his mother suggested.

"FINE! WE'LL SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM!" Heine hollered leaving the table quickly.

"Excuse me," Ayame whispered leaving the table following after Heine.

---

"Ayame, I'm so, so sorry," Heine whispered placing his hands on her shoulders.

"It's alright," Ayame whispered back.

"No, it's not alright. I got angry. I made a stupid choice," Heine answered getting on to his knees.

"Let's not think about it…so…um…we're in here for the whole night?" Ayame answered getting down to his level. She kissed his lips softly trying to cheer him up.

"Yeah…My parents locked the door," Heine muttered not feeling the effect of her kiss.

"Heine…come on…Cheer up! We all have bad days, we just have to get up and move past them, right?" Ayame questioned hugging him tightly. Feeling his head upon her breasts caused his face to turn a bright red.

"I…yeah…you're right…do you wanna get in bed?...If that's okay with you," Heine answered hesitantly.

"Oh…sure," Ayame answered.

"You know…I'll sleep on the floor. You take the bed," Heine muttered picking up his young lover. She squealed softly clutching his neck tightly.

"Please put me down," she whined as Heine walked to his bed.

"There you are," Heine chuckled setting her down on the bed.

"Stay with me…on the bed," Ayame whispered going through his hair softly.

"Oh…aahhhh…Sur-No…" Heine muttered even though his body did not budge.

"Please," she asked gently feeling his soft face.

"You're not!- You know…suggesting," Heine asked blushing fiercely.

"NO! Oh gosh no! You have to be daft to think that I was thinking about…" Ayame cried backing away from Heine.

"Daft?" Heine asked as his body involuntarily slipped into his bed.

"It means foolish or senseless…I learned English in London," Ayame convinced getting under the covers with him. She shivered lightly feeling the cold sheets upon her body. It was only natural for her to snuggle against Heine which caused him to blush.

---

1:00am

---

"Are you asleep yet?" Heine asked rubbing Ayame's back.

"No…I'm tired though," Ayame answered with a yawn.

"Just checking," Heine sighed. Laying there in bed with Ayame felt like years before she was finally asleep at 5:45am and Heine at 7:00am. He wasn't sure why it was so hard to fall asleep. Maybe it was the fact that he had never slept in the same bed with a woman. Or maybe it was the fact that his parents were watching them through a hidden camera.


	12. Chapter 12

Never Look Back Chapter 12

---

"Hey how long have you been up?" Heine asked tiredly waking up from his short slumber. Ayame was sitting up in his rather large bed staring into his mirror.

"Oh…not…long," Ayame muttered softly. An air of sadness had taken over his young girl friend.

"What's troubling you?" Heine asked sitting up with her.

"Nothing's wrong!" Ayame answered giving him a lopsided smile.

"Ayame…you can't fool me…What's wrong?" Heine questioned hugging her tightly. She pushed away from him quickly seeing Heine become visibly upset.

"I…there's nothing wrong," Ayame replied.

"Ayame…It hurts me when you do that," Heine said sorrowfully.

"I…didn't mean too…I'm sorry Heine," Ayame cried.

"Ayame, please tell me what's wrong. Did I do anything wrong?" Heine asked looking into Ayame's eyes deeply.

"You must not love me…I guess German girls are cuter to you," Ayame spat sadly.

"Huh? OH NO! No, No, No, No! You've got it all wrong," Heine cried out shaking her softly.

"What do you mean I've got it all wrong?! I heard what your parents said!" Ayame bawled. He threw his arms around her to console her but she pushed him away harshly.

"Ayame...THEY want me to date only German girls. For generations the Westenfluss family has only married German men and women. My parents want me to continue that tradition…Since you are a Japanese girl my parents want me to dump you as soon as possible. I do love you…I really do! I can't stop thinking about you. Every time I daydream it's about you. What ever I do…I do it for you," Heine explained lovingly.

"So…you do love me?" Ayame asked drying her tears.

"Of course! I don't care what race you are. I love you for who you are…not what you are," Heine answered.

"I'm sorry that I ever doubted you," Ayame whispered apologetically.

---

"I acted like an idiot when I was at my parents' house. I only wanted my parents to accept her and love her like I did," Heine explained.

"So your family had a long standing tradition of marrying Germans?" Athrun asked.

"Yeah…I broke it when I married Ayame. Part of my family was not proud of me. Others told me that they didn't approve of it but as long as I loved her they will give me support," Heine replied.

"Did your parents go to your wedding?" Athrun asked as Heine ordered another beer.

"Hey…I'll tell you that when we get to that part," Heine chuckled.

---

"Hey I want to take you to a secret place. You'll love it," Heine baited kissing her cheeks softly. She stared at him puzzled as his mother gripped her dress tightly.

_Flashback:_

_ "Heine dear…Where is this secret place you always talk about?" his mother asked as he was about to leave._

_ "It's still a secret…Only the person I feel like marrying and I will get to go there," Heine answered going out the door._

_ "Is it the little German girl down the street? You've dated for almost a year now," she asked following him out the door._

_ "You'll see…I'll bring someone there sooner or later," Heine chuckled getting into their limo._

_End Flashback:_

"Well I hope you two have a good time," his mother called out after them as they left his home. Tears streamed down her face knowing that it would be hard to change Heine's mind now.

"So where are we going? And by what?" Ayame asked.

"What size pants do you wear?" Heine asked pulling her into a garage.

"Excuse me?!" Ayame asked bewildered.

"Oh…I'm sorry…that didn't come out right. This is what we're taking," Heine answered pulling off a cover to a motorcycle.

"I…no…no…no," Ayame mumbled.

"It's alright. I'm not a fast driver and I won't do anything to hurt you," Heine chuckled pulling her into a loving hold.

"Um…7…" Ayame agreed reluctantly.

"If something happened I want you to be safe so I want you to wear all the protective gear," Heine soothed rubbing her back softly.

"Hm…where do my parents keep everything…When they were younger they used to sponsor motorcycle days. They used to invite people over so they could learn how to ride and they would invite professionals to perform tricks," Heine explained.

"So you have extra pants? And gear?" Ayame asked sitting on the back of the motorcycle.

"Of course, but I want you to wear my jacket," Heine smiled kissing her lips softly.

"I love you," Ayame muttered as Heine went back to his searching.

"I love you too Turtle Dove," Heine soothed returning with a pair of biker pants and his jacket.

"Just slip them over your shorts and then put on the jacket," Heine answered kissing her cheeks softly.

"Okay…but what about you?" Ayame asked putting on the pants and jacket.

"I'll be alright. I'll get a different jacket," Heine answered helping her zip and buckle the one he gave her. He left her briefly finding another jacket to put on.

"Ready?" he asked coming up behind her. She reluctantly nodded her head as Heine seat himself on the motorcycle. She jumped quickly as he started the engine on the machine.

"Do you…want me to climb on?" Ayame asked softly.

"What? I can't hear you over the engine," Heine called back looking at her shaking body noticing he forgot three things: boots, gloves and a helmet. He turned the engine off with a small sigh.

"Did I do something wrong?" Ayame asked as he got off the machine.

"Why do you always think that you've done something wrong?" Heine asked slipping her hands into a pair of gloves.

"I normally do a lot of things wrong. You can always blame things on me too…Yukio did it all the time," Ayame muttered as he sat her down on the back of the motorcycle to pull off her shoes.

"I'm not Yukio. I never will be. What's your shoe size?" Heine asked after pulling off her shoes.

"8.5," she whispered.

"You have pretty big feet, Turtle Dove. And a tiny tiny waist," Heine teased grabbing a pair of boots off the shelf. He checked for spiders and other small critters.

"I'm sorry," She muttered.

"Don't be so sorry," Heine chuckled squeezing her feet into the boots.

"Thank you," Ayame chimed. He stood up quickly kissing her lips before slipping a Helmet onto her head.

"Heine…wa-wait," Ayame choked as he secured it on to her head.

"What? Is it too tight?" Heine asked looking into her eyes.

"I'm not sure about this anymore," Ayame muttered fiddling with her hands.

"Everything will be alright. I assure you Ayame. Please trust me on this," Heine consoled hugging her tightly.

"I…I…gu-gues s-s-s-so," Ayame babbled. He tapped the helmet playfully before putting on his own gloves, boots and helmet.

"You get off right now. And I'll start it again. Then you get behind me and I'll show you where to put your feet," Heine explained helping her off the machine. Once again he started the machine receiving the same frightened jump from Ayame. He signaled her to get behind him causing Ayame to hesitate.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Ayame cried out shaking her head viciously.

"Please Ayame! I would use a car but this place can only be accessed by motorcycle. Trust me! Please! Please trust me!" Heine cried out holding his hand out to her. She slapped it away walking away from the machine. He sighed out of frustration getting off the machine once more grabbing Ayame. She screamed loudly fighting Heine as he pulled her back to the motorcycle.

"Master Heine…I don't think you should force her to do something she doesn't want to do," Sir Arthur explained.

"I'm just trying to calm her down right now," Heine called out over her screams. He pulled her to the floor trying to calm her down so she wouldn't hurt him or herself.

"LET ME GO!" Ayame cried out.

"Alright," Heine answered releasing the frightened woman. She quickly got off the floor but stayed next to Heine.

"Do you promise?" Ayame asked as he helped her to her feet.

"I promise. Please trust me," Heine begged as he straddled the machine and was surprised to feel Ayame join him on the back.

"Keep me safe please," Ayame whispered wrapping her arms around him.

"I will. Place your feet on the rests," Heine instructed before slowly moving forward. She let out a small cry piercing his stomach with her finger nails.

"I'm so scared," Ayame whispered to herself.

"Ayame relax. We've only moved four feet and you're already piercing my stomach," Heine bellowed stopping the motorcycle at the end of the garage.

"I'm sorry," she cried relaxing her fingers. He proceeded slowly out the garage and down the driveway. She pulled down the visor on her helmet as they proceed down the road. She kept her head against his back and her eyes shut as they continued down several roads and streets. After what seemed like a millennium Heine stopped and turned off the engine prying Ayame's arms off his waist.

"You can get off but close your eyes alright?" Heine asked kindly. She obeyed getting off the bipedal vehicle holding onto Heine's hand. He joined her taking off her helmet and his own before kissing her on the forehead.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Ayame asked curiously.

"Not yet. You did a great job Ayame. You squeezed me sooo tightly that I thought I was going to pee in my pants but you were great," Heine soothed moving her to another position before moving behind her. "Open." She gasped at the beautiful scenery displayed in front of her.

"Heine! It's so beautiful!" Ayame cried, watching the rolling hills, lush green trees and gentle valleys.

"Even though this is a PLANT I thought this was the most beautiful part of this one. It's just inches away from your beauty," Heine expressed wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh Heine," she cooed leaning against him.

"I've never shown this place to anyone. Not even my family…Not even former girlfriends of mine…I wanted to show this place to someone really special. Ayame you're my special flower and me sweet Turtle Dove. I'm so crazy about you, Ayame," Heine elaborated.

"Heine," Ayame whispered turning around to see his face was flustered. She went through his hair lovingly before pulling his head down into a loving kiss. _Oh Heine…you're sooo sweet. I hate that I gave you so much trouble earlier today. Are you really the one? Are you the one I'm destined to marry? What about your parents? What about family? I don't have anything to give you really…I guess I have my…no don't think about that…I love him…I know you're crazy about me…and I'm just as crazy about you…Heine I don't care anymore…I love you and I'm going to show your parents how much I REALLY care about you. I was shy to show them at first…but I'm really going to do it now…_Ayame thought feeling her own cheeks go pink.


	13. Chapter 13

Never Look Back Chapter 13

---

Unlucky 13…Spoiler: Heine has a run in with his ex…How will Ayame cope?

---

"WHAT?! HOW COULD YOU?!" Heine screamed slamming his hands onto his father's desk.

"Heine calm down your being a brat! We think it's in your best interest that you look at the girls right around here first before moving on to girls you pick up on the street. Heine this Ball/dance or whatever you want to call it is in your best interest," His father explained.

"No it's not! Is this mother's idea?!" Heine spat flopping into his chair.

"No Heinrich. This is my decision. You can't pick up girls because they're nice looking or you feel sorry for them," his father growled.

"I love Ayame! What's wrong with the way I feel about her?!" Heine hollered gripping the chair tightly.

"Heine, I feel that it's in your best interest that you marry the sweet girl German girl down the street," Father suggested causing Heine to rise to his feet and storm to the door.

"We're not finished talking! You're going to marry her Heine and that's final!" he hollered as Heine opened the door to leave

"Funny because I remembered you telling me to marry for love…Or was that my biological father?! It's hard to tell the difference between identical twins," Heine blurted out. As anger boiled up within the two men his father approached him with a close fist. Standing his ground Heine allowed his step-father to grab his collar.

"I thought we wouldn't talk about that, Heinrich?! I am you father and you will respect me as such!" he screamed punching his "son" to the floor.

"Why should I?! My REAL father would never do such a thing! YOU destroyed my father's relationship and ripped his heart out! Why would you do something to your own brother?!" Heine interrogated receiving another blow.

"I've had enough of this…get out of my sight," the father began heading back into his study, "And another thing…you'll be at that ball tonight." Holding his cheek softly the only thing Heine did was look away.

"I guess the girls will LOVE my new look," Heine said sarcastically.

"Those were only love taps my boy. Nothing will leave a mark," Heine's father grumbled before entering his study. Angrily Heine leapt off the floor making a beeline to his bedroom. _This trip was a bad idea. This isn't what I wanted…tsh…the dream wouldn't occur anyways…_he thought entering his room quickly slamming the door behind him.

"Heine?" Ayame asked in a small tired voice. She sat up in his bed rubbing her eyes gently.

"WHAT?!" Heine screamed causing Ayame to jump out of fear.

"Oh no…What did I do wrong," Ayame asked fearfully. Seeing the fear in Ayame's eyes Heine quickly relaxed joining her on the bed. With a steady hand he went through her hair gently.

Heine's voice wavered, "Sorry about that Ayame…I…I fought with my so called father…You haven't done anything wrong so don't worry your pretty little head." He kissed her forehead softly before pushing her down on the bed. She made a small squeal of uneasiness not wanting to upset Heine nor did she want to agree to Heine's gestures.

"Heine," she whined softly.

"Comfort me…Hold me," he asked softly wrapping his arms around Ayame. _He's in a fragile state right now…I have to comfort him…_Ayame thought holding him with a sleep grip.

"What happened?! And why is your cheek bleeding?!" Ayame asked trying to sit up to assess the damage.

"First I want you to know that…that man isn't my real father…That's my step-father…that man is my father's twin brother. When my mother was pregnant with me she dumped my real father for that man. She married him and all my life until I was 8 I believe he was my father…And if I didn't see what I saw that day I probably wouldn't be in Z.A.F.T. right now," Heine began as Ayame began to rock him gently.

"Heine," Ayame whispered worriedly.

"It was Mother's Day and I asked Sir Arthur to take me home early that day. I got home and began to make my mother the perfect Mother's Day. After I was done I raced up to the Master bedroom and found something horrible. My mother was had reversed the affair…Instead of cheating on my father with his brother she was now cheating on his brother with my father…If you understand what I mean. I was disgusted...the man looked like my "father" but he wasn't. My mother then told me the truth. I didn't believe it in the beginning but from that day on my step-father treated me like crap," Heine explained squeezing Ayame tightly so no tears would escape his eyes.

"It's okay to cry," Ayame suggested as his mother barged into the room.

"Heine dear…I heard what happened. Don't let his words hurt you dear," the woman suggested joining the couple on the bed. His mother elbowed Ayame away taking hold of her son.

"Let go of me mother…I want some alone time with my girlfriend," Heine suggested.

"Honey…you just need me…Oh Ayame, get dressed I'm taking you dress shopping," Heine's mother cheered. _Time to play a little mind game with Heine and Ayame…Maybe this will separate them once and for all…_the woman thought evilly.

"O-Okay," Ayame replied slipping out of the bed revealing her bare smooth legs. She entered Heine's bathroom turning on the lights. It must have slipped her mind because she had forgotten to lock the door. _I guess I'll take a relaxing bath _she thought starting the water before stripping and entering the tub.

"Ahhhh…So relaxing," Ayame muttered feeling the water rise against her body.

---

"Oh Heine…don't make the mistake that I did…We want what's best for you," his mother suggested. They had been talking for over thirty minutes and Heine was being worn down by his mother's speech.

"Mother…just leave me alone," Heine murmured.

"Okay…why don't you go wash your face," she suggested noticing that Heine was too disoriented to notice that Ayame was in the bath. _I got the key too…I can lock them in…After Heine goes in there. She won't love him anymore…They'll fight and then we can kick that little girl out of there…_she thought kissing his head softly helping him to and into the bathroom. After shoving the disoriented child into the room she locked the door before leaving his room. She giggled at the satisfying scream from Ayame as she walked through her mansion.

---

"HEINE!" Ayame cried ducking into the now waterless tube. Snapping back into reality he backed up against the door realizing that he had walked in on Ayame dressing.

"I…I…" he stuttered before turning around and trying the door. Noticing that it was locked he hit it with his hand before sinking to the floor.

"Heine?" she asked peeping over the top of the tube. He didn't answer facing the door shaking gently. She jumped out of the tube dressing quickly before joining him at the door.

"I'm fine," Heine said in a small voice.

"Oh Heine…they're wearing you down…come on…lets get you to relax," Ayame suggested helping him up.

"Do you still love me?" Heine asked looking at her with a set of sad eyes.

"Of course…I'll always love you," she kissed his lips softly before feeling wet diamonds rolling onto her cheeks. She felt her own tears fall as she pulled him close to her body. Lust began to take over Heine's mind as he kissed her neck gently. She groaned softly feeling pleasure from his kisses. He pushed her against the wall moving up her neck to her lips.

"I want you," Heine whispered huskily. Her mind subtly came back to reality envisioning what would come next if their lust turned into passion. _I'm not ready for that yet…_Ayame thought as her groans ceased.

"Heine…wa-wait…n-no…st-top…STOP!" she cried pushing him away.

"What's wrong?" he asked going back to his kissing.

"I-I do enjoy your kisses b-but…we're not ready…Okay…I-I," Ayame tried to explain before Heine cut her off.

"Don't worry Ayame. I won't do it again. I don't know what came over me," Heine chuckled.

"Heine…you look sad…if it makes you happy I'll give my body to you," Ayame reasoned pulling him to her neck.

"No Ayame…Yukio really put you under a spell. Having your body won't make me happy. What would that do anyways?" Heine answered. She nodded breaking away from him starting the bath for Heine. Patiently she waited for him to finish his bath and for his mother or for someone to open the door.

---

"So many girls…I wonder how I will find Heine," Ayame thought aloud as she was lined up with other giddy girls. She looked back and forth for her boyfriend as the line steadily moved forward. Being at the back of the line Ayame wasn't sure what was going on besides that there was a formal ball. She waited tiredly before getting to the front. Some men quickly instructed her on what to do before she was ousted into the bright lights as an announcer called her name as well as Heine's.

"What's going on?" Ayame whispered to Heine as they stood facing the crowd at the bottom of the steps.

"You're one of the guests of honor aka my girlfriend so I get to escort you down the steps," Heine whispered back as they approached the stairs. So she wouldn't trip Ayame lifted the bottom of her dress as they went down the stairs.

"HEINE! HEINE!" a woman called running up to the couple. She had soft blonde hair in tight ringlets.

"a-ah…Frieda," Heine muttered as she stopped infront of them.

"Ayame?!" the girl named Frieda gasped.

"Hi," Ayame muttered alarmed.

"How do you know Frieda?" Heine asked Ayame suspiciously.

"Well Heine how do you know her?" Ayame asked.

"I'll answer for both of you. Heine was my ex-boyfriend and Ayame is the Dancing Princess in the dancing pageant one year ago and I am the runner up. Ayame how do you know Heine?" Frieda asked.

"He's my boyfriend," Ayame answered as Heine wrapped his arm around Ayame's waist.

"Well, isn't this a small, small world," she suggested seductively looking at Heine.

"If you will excuse us," Heine asked leading Ayame away.

"Oh HEINE! Why don't you sit at our table," Frieda suggested with a small giggle. Heine looked down at his date seeing her hesitant face.

"No…I think we'll sit alone," Heine answered taking his girlfriend away. Getting to their table Ayame immediately took a napkin and began to twist it in her hands.

"I'm sorry," Ayame whispered.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm just surprised that you know Frieda. My parents want me to marry her. She cheated on me ever since we began the relationship," Heine explained.

"Okay," Ayame muttered. Noticing her queasiness Heine kissed her cheek softly taking her hands within his.

"I unfortunately have to dance with every girl here. I'm saving you for last. Whenever I have free time I'll come back and spend my time with you," Heine responded hugging her tightly.

"Alright…See you then…I guess," Ayame answered.

"Thanks for not wearing a necklace like I told you too," Heine chimed leaving her at the table. She waited patiently for Heine feeling out of place at the ball she was invited to.

"So you're dating my sweet Heine," Frieda demanded slamming a hand onto the table.

"Yes…And Heine doesn't belong to anyone. He is his own person," Ayame answered as Frieda and her friends made herself comfortable at Ayame's table.

"Ayame you know today is when you wear the most expensive jewelry you own. IF you have any at all," Frieda giggled.

"Well look who's talking…I'm pretty sure I saw that dress in a second-hand shop," Ayame spat.

"It seems like we still agree to disagree. It's obvious by the end of the night Heine will be back at my feet like an obedient little lap-dog," Frieda snorted as her friends laughed behind her.

"You have not been kind to him! Why would he choose you?! I will be a much better girlfriend to him then you ever were," Ayame declared as Heine approached them. The other women quickly fled as his parents came over along with another man. Being quickly engulfed by Heine's family Ayame hesitantly looked back at Heine. He stood behind her chair placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Well I guess this concludes our suitors dance. Now Heine will pick which girl he wants to dance with and choose to be his girlfriend," his mother boomed causing a rise of cheer and applause.

"Ayame…Honda," Heine answered rubbing Ayame's shoulders lovingly. _I wonder if I gave her a hickey…It was my fault in the beginning…I don't want anyone to think that "something" happened, _he thought trying to focus on his mother's whispers than his thoughts.

"Heine…Remember our plan?" his mother tried to explain to him.

"Good job Heine," the other man congratulated as the spectators hesitantly clapped for the couple.

"Thank you sir…AND can I have everyone's attention," Heine asked taking out a wide jewelry box.

"Okay…Quiet down everyone," his step-father shushed. The hall became dead silent as he hummed softly to himself.

"No one knows the origin of this necklace but it has been passed down through the Westenfluss family for generations. Westenfluss men have been giving this necklace to their significant others for years and Ayame I want to give this necklace to you," Heine delivered securing the necklace around her neck. As if it couldn't be true, Ayame felt the necklace around her neck breathing in and out heavily.

"He-Heine," she whispered looking back at him. Her cheeks were flustered and her eyes watery.

"For the last 7 months Ayame Honda has been the love of my life. The gift that keeps me moving forward in life," Heine chuckled helping Ayame to her feet.

"There could be a better woman for you though…Perhaps one with more money," his mother suggested.

"I want to marry for love…not status," Heine answered taking his young lover to the dance floor. He pulled her into a tight embrace as they danced around the ballroom floor.

"I love you," she whispered resting her head on his shoulder as tears came out of her eyes.

---

"Rough day wasn't it?" Heine chuckled. Athrun nodded in agreement staring at his friend. "That day was one of the few days that I was on the brink of falling apart. I hate my family. I used to wish that Ayame said no to my proposal. I wished that Ayame didn't have to marry into a cruel-hearted family."

"That's not true," Athrun defended putting his glass down.

"How so?" Heine asked shocked at Athrun's suggestion.

"Well…It can't be true because you are not cruel-hearted and Ayame fell in love with you," Athrun answered causing Heine to laugh heartedly.

"I guess you're right. I wasn't supposed to give the necklace to Ayame then. I was supposed to wait until we were engaged but I was so mad at my parents I wanted to upset them any way I knew. I guess we can move on to more "exciting" aspects. Oh any questions before I move on?" Heine asked curiously.

"Ah…yeah, who was the other man? The one who congratulated you about your decision about Ayame," Athrun questioned ordering himself another drink as well.

"Oh…That was my real father. Didn't I say that?" Heine asked becoming confused.

"No…you didn't," Athrun answered.

"Did I ever show you a picture of Ayame?" asked Heine ordering a glass of water.

"No…You never did," Athrun disclosed feeling a little hesitant to see the photo. Pulling out his wallet he flipped through the flimsy strips finding a picture of his wife.

"This is her during our wedding day. I love this picture because they caught her off guard. She always hated…_hated _that I kept this picture with me at all times," Heine chuckled handing Athrun the picture.

"She's very beautiful," Athrun admired. What immediately stood out to Athrun besides Ayame's square framed glasses and the stunning white wedding gown and that she was visibly stunned was the vibrant pearl necklace around her neck.

"She was wearing my family's necklace on that day. She really did love it…the necklace…I…I…I thought she was so beautiful that day. We had two weddings. Ayame wouldn't have a Protestant wedding because she practiced Shinto. We came to an agreement we'd do a western wedding as well as a Shinto wedding. For once my parents were thrilled by the idea…so thrilled that they paid for both weddings. I was suspicious at first but…I'm getting way ahead of myself aren't I?" Heine asked with a small chuckle.

"Yes you are…sir," Athrun answered.

"Well I guess I'll tell you about how I got engaged. Unfortunately there's nothing really to tell you in that time gap between going to my parents and the time I purposed. We visited Ayame's house, my parents' and on our own mini vacation," Heine informed. _Ayame…why couldn't it be me? I loved you so much. I need you. I want you back in my life. There's no way that you can be dead. Why can't I be with you? Why can't you be with me? If there was only someway to bring you back to life. I'd even give up my life…as long as you could live…_he thought intensely. He shook his thoughts away pinching his eyes so he wouldn't cry. _I still have so much to live for…Hana… _


	14. Chapter 14

Never Look Back Chapter 14

---

"I decided well into the war that I was going to marry Ayame. Four months before the war ended I bought an engagement ring. This one," Heine started pulling out a necklace with three rings on it. He fumbled through them finding a delicate ring with two turtle doves holding a blue sapphire.

"How did you find that?" Athrun asked as Athrun gave him the ring. He looked it over gently knowing that it was precious to Heine.

Heine chuckled hesitantly, "It took me a long time…I called every place possible. I found the ring without the jewel in a small shop then I made more calls to find a jeweler that was willing to put a sapphire into the ring without breaking it. Ayame thought I was being really secretive. A little TOO secretive to be exact. She began to follow me around. I told her that I was getting a special gift for her but she couldn't see it yet. At the time Ayame was content with that but soon grown slightly impatient before losing sight of the idea."

"So did you propose soon after?" Athrun asked handing the rings back to Heine.

Heine laughed weakly, "No."

"When did you propose then?" Athrun asked curiously.

"4 months later. I know I shouldn't have been but I was afraid she was going to say no. We dated for about…lets see…almost two years by then. We had turned 19 and we were still a little young for marriage which was the main reason why I didn't ask. She had no idea that I was going to do that. Before the battle of Jachin Due I decided that since that this battle would decide the fate of the war I would purpose to her, so she'd know my true feelings about her if I fell in battle. I wasn't really romantic how I did it," Heine explained.

---

"So this is it?" Heine sighed looking at his mobile suit in the hangar.

"Yeah…Orange and Lime," Ayame chuckled.

"Orange and Lime?" Heine asked looking down at his girlfriend. Her hair had grown out so much since Yukio cut it that it almost made her unrecognizable.

"Yours and mine…the mobile suit. Yours in orange and mine is lime…I guess more avocado," she giggled.

"I don't think it's the right time to be making jokes Ayame," Heine answered. She stiffened slightly before relaxing with a small sigh.

"I guess that's right…this is the last battle…I guess we should focus on the upcoming battle then what I have to joke about," Ayame asked. They stood in silence staring at the mobile suits being repaired.

"Ayame…I'm going to marry you," Heine announced getting down on one knee.

"Are you…" Ayame asked softly stunned by his actions. He took her left hand gently feeling the woman tremble.

"I love you. I'm not dying out there without asking you to marry me. And I'm not taking no as an answer. Ayame Serena Honda the beautiful white dove that has flown into my life, will you marry me?" Heine asked slipping the ring onto her finger.

"He-Heine," Ayame whispered trying to pull away to hide her tears.

"Well…what do you say? Will you marry me? Will you?" Heine asked holding onto her hand.

"N-No," Ayame muttered. Heine's heart shattered into millions of glass shards as he thought…_I knew this was too early…_

"I won't take no," Heine answered weakly.

"No…because I thought we were already engaged. So why do you need to ask again," she giggled. Heine exhaled the held in breath loudly covering his heart.

"Don't scare me like that," Heine gasped getting off the floor.

"You thought I really meant no didn't you?" Ayame chuckled pulling him into a tight hug.

"YES, don't scare me like that…" Heine repeated as Ayame kissed his cheek.

"I want moments like these to last forever," Ayame whispered into his ear.

"Me too…it's almost time…let's change," Heine offered breaking their tight embrace. He started the trek back to the locker room yet Ayame stayed put. He turned his head noticing that there was something on her mind.

"Heine…why now?" she asked as blush covered her face.

"If I died out there…" Heine managed to say before getting cut off.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE OUT THERE!" Ayame cried shaking her head viciously.

"Like I said…IF I died out there…I didn't want to die without sharing my true feelings with you," Heine explained holding his hand out to her.

"You're not going to die!" Ayame repeated in a softer tone.

"Don't worry…" Heine soothed as she took his hand.

"They're putting me on stand-by…You're being sent out with the second wave of troops," Ayame worried fumbling with her glasses.

"Don't worry. Ayame if you worry you will die," Heine answered.

"Ri-Right…Heine…don't die out there," Ayame whispered. He nodded softly not wanting to promise her anything if he died.

---

"I was really close to dying out there," Heine explained.

"I think everyone was," Athrun answered.

"Yeah…I fought an ace named Morgan Chevalier. He destroyed the right leg and the beam rifle. He was a great pilot, I couldn't ask for a better opponent. I think if GENESIS didn't fire I'd be dead right now. I'm not very sure if he died or not," Heine answered.

---

"Heine…Hei-Heine where ar-e…you?!" Ayame cried out through a crackling radio in the deserted battlefield. _He has to be hear somewhere…I know he hasn't died yet…I just saw him! Where did he go?! _Ayame thought. Her current objective was to rescue any survivors on the battle field. She had been searching for over twenty minutes and there was still no sigh of him.

"I survived," Heine mumbled to himself. His radio was not on nor did he send out a distress signal. "Time to get back to Ayame."

"Ayame, I don't think he's out there. Stop trying," the operator commanded stabbing Ayame's heart brutally.

"He's out there…I know it!" Ayame answered.

"Ayame, come back to the ship. Your oxygen levels are running low and we can't lose you either," Commander Hawkins ordered.

"B-But…He…He can't be…NO!...He's not dead," Ayame cried seeing tears bump into the frames of her glasses. They shattered into smaller diamond droplets flying around her helmet.

"Ayame! I gave you an order. Return to the ship," her commander boomed.

"Yes sir," she answered heart broken with emotion despair. She took her battle scarred GINN slowly back to the ship. Once onboard she stayed in her cockpit and cried. She cried hard…was her fiancé really dead? Knowing that she couldn't stay in there forever she left the cockpit pushing herself to the hangar doors. On her way to the floor she bumped into a person.

"I'm sorry," she muttered slowly moving her head up to see the person's face.

"It's alright Turtle Dove," the person chuckled. "You thought I was really dead, didn't you?"

"Yes…Don't you ever scare me like that!" Ayame cried wrapping her arms around him.

"I'll try not to…we made it didn't we?" Heine smiled taking off her helmet. Under the harsh lights of the hangar the couple shared a loving kiss knowing that their relationship would survive just as they had through the bloody war. Ayame finally had her knight and Heine his peasant princess, a duo that had met under unfortunate circumstances were finally united. They had overcome ex-fiancés, hospital stays, and harsh in-laws. What could keep them apart now?

---

**This may be the end for this Story…I'm debating if I want to make it a two part series or not. So possibly…THE END…**

**I don't think I'm going to do it but if so~**

---


	15. Chapter 15

Never Look Back Chapter 15

---

I decided not to make it a two part…

---

"To make sure that this wasn't just desire and lust we waited 7 months to get married. Do you remember the Dancing Princess Pageant that Ayame won? Well there was a senior version of it…The Dancing Queen Pageant. Since Ayame was the princess…she was nominated into that pageant," Heine groaned. _Yeah…and guess who sponsored it…_Heine thought sarcastically.

"You don't seem too happy for her," Athrun hinted.

"Oh I was happy for her…Don't get me wrong if I sounded like I didn't like it," Heine answered stretching out his back.

---

"HEINE! Come here! Come here quick!" Ayame screamed. Fearing that something bad had happened Heine rushed to her side. Heine had moved in with Ayame after the war and had become an official member of the Honda family.

"What?! What's wrong?!" Heine asked as the woman jumped up and down in excitement. He couldn't tell if her excitement was out of fear or happiness.

"Guess what?!" she asked throwing her arms around his neck.

"What? What? Calm down? Is everything alright?" Heine asked as she squealed in delight.

"I GOT IN! I GOT IT!!" She cried kissing his lips softly.

"What did you get in to?" Heine asked curiously wrapping his arms around his fiancée.

"The Dancing Queen Pageant! I thought because of the war they'd have it but they didn't so I got in!" she cried as Heine hugged her tightly.

"Oh that's great!" Heine gasped sweeping her off her feet. She giggled lovingly as he twirled her around in a circle. Placing her on the ground he took the letter before giving a look of disgust.

"What's wrong…Heine?" she asked curiously. How could he be giving a look of disgust at this time of joy?

"Look who's sponsoring it," Heine muttered handing her the letter.

Ayame read aloud, "We do hope you join us and will hopefully win the pageant as Dancing Queen. This event is sponsored by the ever wonderful and ever helpful Wes-ten…fluss fam-il-y." Her words slowed down to a small crawl now knowing why he wasn't happy.

"No…" Heine muttered before walking away.

"Heine…Please…I know you don't want to go but think about this…It'll be a perfect way to announce our engagement" Ayame chuckled evilly. Heine stopped in his place thinking over her plan.

"That's brilliant," he muttered. _I'm not a fan of getting back at people but…all is fair in love and war _Ayame thought as Heine approached her.

"Well when did this happen?" Toshiro asked curiously. He was in the doorframe of his room peaking his head out at the engaged couple.

"Oh…whoops…During the war. We were planning to tell you tonight," Ayame whispered. "So act surprised alright?"

"Alright. Just to say Ayame when you two start having sex you two will have adorable children," he snickered.

"TOSHIRO!" she screamed out of embarrassment. He laughed loudly as his sister ran to his door before he slammed it in her face.

"Drop it Ayame…you'll just anger yourself for nothing," Heine sighed as she began pounding on his door.

"Fine," she spat giving Heine a look of dissatisfaction.

"You have to start planning your dance correct?" Heine chuckled.

"Not yet…we have to go there and enter first then they tell us what we're doing," Ayame explained seeing little Jun rub her eyes softly.

"Hey there little Jun. Did Ayame wake you from your nap," Heine asked picking up the small girl. She nodded yes wrapping her tiny arms around Heine's neck.

"Ayame-chan was very loud," she yawned laying her sleepy head on Heine's shoulder.

"Was she? Why don't I take you back to bed, sleepy head," Heine chuckled rubbing the girl's back.

"Please?" she asked as Heine carried the little girl to her room. Once inside he carefully laid the girl down in her bed. She yawned loudly disconnecting herself from his neck.

"Good night Heine-chan," she yawned.

"Good night little one," Heine soothed ruffling her hair gently before kissing her cheek softly. He waited for her to fall asleep before leaving the room.

"Did she go right to sleep?" Ayame asked as Heine closed her door.

"Yeah. She's been having nightmares lately correct?" Heine answered as they walked away.

"Yes. She keeps saying something about the bad man separating us," Ayame answered pulling Heine to the couch. "Lie down."

"Is that an order?" Heine asked as she pushed him down.

"Yes no…maybe so…" she answered climbing on top. "Now lie down."

"Alright…commander," Heine snickered obeying her commands.

"Good. Now we can snuggle till dinner," Ayame giggled lying down on his chest.

"You could have asked," Heine murmured rubbing her back.

"The war is finally over…it's only been two weeks but it has felt like an eternity," Ayame sighed with relief.

"You've been having nightmares as well," Heine declared pushing her chin up until their eyes met.

"Y-Yes…I'm so tainted…the blood of men, women and kids like us stains my hands. And…They're never coming back…and I did it…" Ayame answered trembling with fear.

"Don't think about it…Ayame…the harder you think about it, the more depressed you'll become," Heine whispered kissing the top of her head.

"B-But…He-Heine," she whispered looking into his eyes.

"Ayame…we can't look back…we have to keep moving forward," Heine answered.

"Right," she muttered snuggling closer to him. _Knowing her she'll probably be asleep in a matter of minutes. I'll let her. She needs it anyways. The war has not been kind, _Heine thought rubbing her back before hearing the doorbell ring.

"Who could that be?" Heine asked as Ayame sat up.

"I don't know. It's not Yukio because he's in prison. It's not Mamoru because he has the car," Ayame answered pondering who it could be. The doorbell rang again causing the couple to get off the couch.

"I'll get it," Toshiro called coming out of his room. He opened the door to find Heine's parents at the door.

"Well who might you be?" his mother asked surprised to see a young man at the door.

"I believe it is polite to introduce yourself before asking the name of another," Toshiro answered. Heine and Ayame joined him at the door with shocked faces.

"Heine?! Ayame?! What are you doing here?!" his father demanded.

"I live here!" Ayame retaliated as Heine sighed softly.

"Wait…your last name is Honda…well isn't THIS a small world," his mother giggled.

"Yes it is. Why are you here?" Heine demanded as Toshiro backed away from the door.

"We're here for the pageant nominee and her family," the mother stated.

"Well that would be me," Ayame chimed happily. Heine smiled at her enthusiasm as he took her hand within his.

"I think the world just got smaller," his mother murmured.

"Well tell your family to pack their bags because you're leaving right away," his father answered in a fake voice.

"Right…I'll go get them," Ayame squealed happily leaving Heine at the door.

"You didn't tell me that she had kids," his mother gossiped in a low voice.

"Those are her siblings," Heine spat.

"What are you doing in this small home anyways Heine?" his mother asked as a car pulled into her driveway.

"That's her older brother. Isn't that a rhetorical question, mother?" Heine answered.

"How long will we be gone?" Ayame called packing Masumi's bag.

"Tell her two weeks," his mother grumbled.

"Two weeks," Heine called back lovingly. He chuckled softly to himself before staring coldly at his parents. _There's so much love and admiration in his eyes…why can't we break the spell? Why doesn't he love us? _His mother thought as Mamoru started up the walkway.

"Excuse me but do you two need any help?" he asked politely.

"Oh no. I believe your sister has been nominated into a pageant. You guys need to get ready to go," his father answered.

"Alright…good thing I didn't buy groceries. If you'll excuse me," Mamoru responded. _Those must be Heine's parents…_he thought entering the home.

"Hello Mamoru," Heine greeted.

"Greetings Heine. I'm home!" the man called.

"Hello Mamoru!" Ayame chimed as she began to pack Jun's bag.

"Ayame…why don't you ask for more time…you can't possibly pack…" Mamoru trailed.

"No…I'm almost done…Where is Mitsuho?" She asked kindly as her Toshiro passed her room.

"He's waiting with Heine," Toshiro answered, "I think that kid's psychic…he packed four days ago saying that we were going on a trip." Ayame chuckled knowing that her little brother had become fond of Heine.

---

"Thank you for having us over for dinner," Mamoru said gratefully.

"Oh it's fine. It's great to meet the whole Honda family. Masomi and Jun are just adorable," His mother squealed.

"Excuse me but its Masumi not Masomi," Mitsuho piped in quietly.

"Oh right, right, sorry," the mother muttered not paying much attention to him. Glancing over at Ayame, Heine gave her a small nod before standing up receiving the attention of the crowd at the table.

"Can I have your attention please," Heine asked clearing his throat. He hesitated looking down at Ayame before back at his and her family members.

"Well what is it? Spit it out Heine!" his mother begged.

"You really want to know?" Heine teased playfully.

"Oh Yes! Yes! Tell us Heine-san! Tell us!" Jun cried kicking her feet out of excitement. _She's so sweet…I hope she never changes _Heine thought reaching out for Ayame's hand. She took it lovingly with a gentle smile.

"After several months of dating we decided to take the two strings between us and to tie these families together…aka, for the young children we're getting married," Heine announced. _Not as we planned but I got other ideas for the pageant, _Heine thought. His mother's mouth dropped open as the Honda family smiled.

"YEEEEAAAHHH! Heine's going to stay! Heine's going to stay!" Jun cried.

"Well I guess a toast is in order. Butler Pennington bring out some Champagne and apple cider," his father ordered.

"Right away sir," the butler answered.

---

"That's when I figured out Ayame's low alcohol tolerance," Heine chuckled.

"Really? Was it really that low?" Athrun asked.

"Yeah," Heine laughed.

---

"The champagne is for Mamoru, myself, Didrika, Toshiro, and of course Heine and Ayame," his father announced,

"Oh none for me sir," Toshiro answered.

"Okay, fine with me," his father spat causing Toshiro to stiffen. _He's a bit rude…I don't think I like him that much _Toshiro thought. Once everyone had their drinks they toasted for a happy marriage between Ayame and Heine. Uncertain if she should drink it Ayame swirled the contents in the glass around in circles. She took a small sip not really getting a taste of it.

"Ayame you have to get a better taste then that," his mother persuaded. She nodded gently taking two small sized gulps of the liquid. _I don't like this…my vision has gotten worse _Ayame thought trying to focus on the food in front of her.

"I'm going to take her to bed," Heine suggested sensing that something was wrong with Ayame. She stumbled to her feet as Heine pulled her away from the table.

"Heine you don't want to stay?" Mamoru asked curiously.

"Something's wrong with her, I think there's been too much excitement today," Heine answered picking up the tipsy woman before leaving the dining hall.

---

Ayame giggled, "Let's play!"

"No Ayame," Heine sighed pulling Ayame away from the door.

"STOP!" she whined, "I FEEL HOT!" He pulled her back to his bed sitting her down.

"Ayame can you relax for me," Heine groaned.

"I wanna sleep," Ayame yawned lying down on his bed. He sat her up with a gentle sigh.

"You can't sleep," Heine answered.

"Oh…Then why don't we do something _daring_," Ayame suggested licking her lips before bursting out in hysterical laughter.

"No," Heine answered.

"It's so HOT in here!" Ayame whined rubbing her forehead brushing against her glasses.

"No it's not Ayame. Relax and stay quiet," Heine answered.

"Be GONE oh hideous things!" Ayame cheered slapping the glasses off her face. "WAAAAHHHH! I'M GOING BLIND!"

"No you're not. Put your glasses back on so you can see," Heine answered placing them in her hands.

"NO! I want to be normal!" she answered in her drunken state.

"You are normal. Now put them on for me," Heine sighed.

"Why? I'm hot! And I'm tired! I want to leave!" Ayame whined escaping Heine's grip.

"You sure are a whiney drunk. But you are happy too," Heine muttered as she began to laugh at his face.

"You should see your face!" she laughed stumbling into a wall. "OWWWW," she giggled again as Heine brought her back to his bed. There was a gentle knock on the door before Mamoru entered the room.

"I have some bread and some black coffee. Maybe this will help her," Mamoru said gently. Ayame began to pick at her clothes causing Heine to secure her hands in his.

"STOP!" Ayame whined fidgeting in his grip.

"Heine do you wanna take a break from your baby sitting duty?" Mamoru asked. He gave Ayame a piece of bread and she began to slowly nibble on it.

"Haha! Baby sit! The only baby is Masumi!" Ayame laughed.

"No I'm fine. If we're going to be married I need to deal with this," Heine answered with a sigh. _How the hell did this happen?_ Heine thought as she reached for the coffee. Mamoru gave it to her causing her to drink it quickly.

"No honey drink it slow," Mamoru explained as Ayame coughed loudly before laughing again. She continued to giggle spilling the hot coffee all over Heine's pants.

---

"That hurt like hell," Heine expressed.

"I would imagine," Athrun gasped.

"She was very sorry. Extremely sorry for what happened. After that…I never let her have alcohol again. Never. Not on our wedding day or even on our wedding night. I couldn't risk it," Heine explained.

"I hope she recovered from it quickly," Athrun delivered.

"Oh yeah she did. Oh, she said something about you after you defected," Heine brought up.

"What was it?" Athrun questioned cautiously.

"She said that you weren't doing anything wrong. As long as you believe in what you're doing is right then you haven't done anything wrong," Heine answered, "A lot of the guys onboard our ship gave her hell for her thoughts."

"Did she really say that?" Athrun asked.

"Yeah. She said as long as your heart was in the right place you'll be doing what you think is right," Heine answered.


	16. Chapter 16

Never Look Back Chapter 16

---

"The pageant worked this way…it was 2 to 4 weeks depending upon when you were cast out of it. The dancers create their own choreography under different such as ballet, ballroom, hip hop, jazz etc." Heine laughed, "Ayame used to say etc. etc. after a series of items. Anyways then they're judged by a panel of five judges. After that the audience votes and like the TV shows the one or two dancers with the lowest scores loses and goes home. IF they make it into the top 10 it then turns to the judges' score, audience votes and TV viewer votes."

"Did Ayame win?" Athrun asked curiously.

"I have to tell you the story first before answering your question," Heine chuckled ordering a glass of water.

---

"So you guys are the dancers for this year. My my there's a whole arrange of dancers this year. So we have our current reigning Dancing Princess Ayame Honda here too. Well well you ladies are up against a truly tough opponent. She's a truly wonderful and modest dancer," a female judge applauded.

"You are too kind," Ayame answered.

"Well cut the chatter. The first dance you dancers will perform is ballet. You can pick what ever type of theme within it…you know like: mysterious, happy, calm, serene, sad, dark and so forth," a male judge snapped.

"There is one catch…you guys cannot pick the same theme," the female judge responded. Heine stood in the back of the room smiling at his fiancée.

"Honda, Ayame you will go first," the male judge snapped. He went by the name of Alexander. No one really knew his real name but he always referred to himself as Alexander.

"Mysterious," Ayame answered looking back at her fiancé.

"Wonderful!" the female judge answered. Her name was Lexa Montel a world renown dancer and ballroom judge. The other women picked their themes and after that they were dismissed for the day. Ayame walked over to her fiancé with a small giggle.

"Hello," she blushed fumbling with the glasses on her face.

"Good day my lady Princess. Should I kneel before you," Heine asked going through her hair gently.

"Oh Heine…No you don't," Ayame soothed smiling up at him gently.

"What's that? I have to carry the princess? Okay!" Heine cried out picking up Ayame and twirling her around. She giggled lovingly wrapping her hands around his neck. He carried her out of the room and past the gossiping girls.

"Heine put me down" she whispered quickly feeling her face fill with blush.

"No," Heine replied with a laugh. He wanted her frustrated face causing him to enact on his emotions leaning down and brushing his lips on her cheek.

"Heine!" she cried out softly. He chuckled again kissing her cheek again.

"No, my little Turtle Dove," Heine answered as they walked through the crowd.

---

"Her dances were spectacular…Even if I didn't know much about them. I loved watching her dance. It made her irresistible. She looked amazing…for one she had long, beautiful legs," Heine trailed before seeing Athrun's uncomfortable face. "Sorry about that, I got carried away again," he apologized.

---

"Heine I love you," Ayame said in a soothing tone. She kissed his neck softly causing him to give a gentle groan.

Heine chuckled, "If you didn't you would have said no and meant it."

"Heine…do you think of me as a…as a trophy wife?" Ayame asked quietly.

"No! Of course not! Why would you say such a thing?" Heine answered shaking her shoulders softly.

"Right…Sorry. I didn't mean to say such a thing. Silly me," Ayame answered uncomfortably. She shifted sideways trying to escape Heine's grip.

"Ayame. Before we get married we have to fix that habit of yours," Heine sighed ruffling his hair.

"Whatever you want Heine," Ayame answered in a monotone voice.

"No no no Ayame! Do what you want. I just don't want you to think that whenever I get upset or you say no and my attitude changes that you HAVE to make ME happy. Ayame I want you to be happy so please let's fix this together. I want us to have a happy marriage. Not a marriage where if you make a decision that I don't like and you quickly change it to please me," Heine answered looking into her eyes to get across his opinion.

"Right…Silly me, Again," Ayame answered shaking softly not wanting to offend him.

"No Ayame! You're doing it again," Heine answered with another sigh.

"Sorry…I won't do it again," Ayame answered.

"Alright. Now lets get to the bottom of why you do this," Heine replied gently pulling Ayame to a chair. Heine sat down in the chair before sitting her in his lap. Quietly he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. She shivered lightly not wanting him to talk about it. They sat in silence as Heine stroked her side gently before kissing her cheek with soft tenderness.

"Um…" Ayame mumbled looking into Heine's eyes.

"When did this all begin?" Heine asked kissing her cheek again.

"U-Um….While dating Yukio…" Ayame answered while a mob of dancers came their way. The giddy girls were excited as they gossiped amongst themselves. They stopped in front of the happy couple giggling loudly. Quickly they grabbed Ayame pulling her off his lap and running away with her.

"HEY! BRING HER BACK!" Heine cried running after them.

"HEINE!" she cried back feeling as if she was being kidnapped. Immediately Heine stopped following them since they ran into the women's changing room.

---

Inside

---

"So who's this love interest?!" one of the girls asked quickly as they began to strip Ayame of her clothes.

"HEY! Stop that! What is this!" Ayame cried feeling violated.

"Well we thought you'd put on a little swimsuit show for him.

"I didn't AGREE to this!" Ayame cried out.

"Well who IS he!" the girls cried out as they forced her into a bikini.

"FINE! If you girls will stop annoying me I'll tell you! He's my fiancé," Ayame hollered becoming annoyed. The girls cried out in happiness hugging the engaged woman tightly.

"You two are so cute together!" the girls cried.

"So where did you meet?" a girl asked curiously.

"NOW we're getting TOO personal! Let me go! And get me out of this Bikini!" Ayame snapped. They tucked a Hibiscus flower behind her left ear giggling like idiotic school girls.

"No no no! We have to do this! We have to do this bikini shoot! It was in the contract if you have forgotten! BUT we think that you're adorable in that Bikini! And we know that your future hubby will like it TOO!" they answered pushing her into a pool area. There was a simulated waterfall that spilled into the pool which Ayame took to her liking. She walked around the quiet pool area thinking of her little home in the PLANTs.

"Ayame, uhhhhh…you look nice," Heine drooled looking her up and down. _This is a real turn on…I wonder why she's dressed like that, _Heine thought spacing out in the beautiful image.

"Heine?" Ayame asked going through his hair worriedly. He mumbled unrecognizable words as his face turned a shade of pink. She giggled softly before pulling him close. "Does the cat have your tongue," she asked in a slightly seductive tone.

"Yeaahhh," Heine mumbled feeling the bare skin that enclosed her body.

"Heine…I'm up here," Ayame signaled pushing his chin up.

"Yeah…yeah! Of course! Sorry about that!" Heine answered snapping out of his trance. "You're just so damn beautiful." She blushed at the fact as Heine removed the flower from her hair. He twisted the flower in his hand before placing it back into her hair. The female dancers gasped at the scene they labeled "adorable" playing out in front of them.

"Ignore them…they were the one's who put me in this skimpy thing," Ayame whispered in his ear. There was a large flash that blinded Ayame and Heine within seconds after the camera went off.

"You two are so cute. Ayame you're the princess correct. Where is your crown? We can't do this photo shoot without it!" the photographer demanded.

"What photo shoot?" Heine asked feeling as if Ayame was holding the truth from him.

"I just learned about it too. I don't have a crown!" Ayame answered.

"Here it is!" the girls giggled placing it on her head. Ayame sighed gently looking at Heine for much needed guidance.

"Ayame you look wonderful! Now just get rid of those glsses. They're not you. You look hideous in them," the photographer criticized. Keeping her true feelings inside Ayame removed her glasses.

---

"She was really hurt by his comment," Heine sighed twirling the glass of water.

"I wouldn't be surprised. It seems like no one likes her glasses. I mean it is a little odd but…It makes her unique, isn't that right?" Athrun answered.

"Ah…yes, that's correct," Heine muttered shocked at his comment. "She scored well in the first dance. The mysterious ballet…Her story behind it was: She was an innocent woman who was plagued with illness that caused her to imagine people, animals, walls, etc. She did a great job. Ayame really loved dancing. The next round of dancing was the Tango. That's where I met a man who had fallen head over heels for Ayame. He tried everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! He even proposed to her in front of me! He went by the name of Mike but began to call himself by HEINE so she'd like him better. Ayame was uncomfortable around him. She always wanted me at their practices so he wouldn't do anything irrational. I hated the whole ordeal of him being around my sweet Ayame," Heine answered. Towards the end his tone turned distasteful with the anger he felt for Mike.

"Well if there's one good thing that came out of your problem was that Ayame never changed her feelings about you. She continued to love you even though there was a huge distraction in her way to you," Athrun responded thoughtfully. By now Athrun had a clear view of Ayame. She was a sweet woman who loved Heine dearly. A woman who believed in family ties over business. Someone who was too kind to be evil.

---

Not the best chapter I've had in awhile.


	17. Chapter 17

Never Look Back Chapter 17

---

So now Heine has some competition

---

"So you're dancing the Tango this week?" Heine asked walking with Ayame hand in hand through the dance studio.

"Yeah…Sorry that I have to dance with a guy," Ayame apologized looking up at Heine.

"It's okay Ayame. As long as you don't kiss him or anything," Heine answered opening the door for her.

"Thanks Heine," Ayame smiled entering the room. There was a man leaning against one of the mirrors waiting for Ayame.

"Oh there you are! The sweet dance princess, Honda Ayame!" the man gasped. He had orange hair that was a little darker than Heine's and light brown eyes. He was about Ayame's height but weighed a little less than Heine.

"Hi, are you my partner?" Ayame asked in her normal curious tone. Closing the door quietly Heine stood in the back so he wouldn't get in the way.

"Yes! My name is Michael Südlich," the man answered. _He's German like Heine…And he looks like Heine a little, but he's not as cute as Heine, _Ayame thought.

"Nice to meet you," Ayame chimed sticking her hand out for him to shake it. He took her hand kissing it softly.

"It's nice to meet someone of high standards. But who is that in the back?" Michael asked kissing the palm of her hand. She looked back at Heine hesitantly feeling ackward.

"He's my fian-" Ayame tried to say before being cut off by Michael.

"Your body guard gotcha. I guess because you're a big dancer you have to have one," Michael answered for her. _I'm not very sure if I like this guy…_Heine thought suspiciously.

"His name is Heine Westenfluss," Ayame contributed lovingly. She looked back at him with a small smile.

"Okay. Now lets get dancing. We're tangoing right?" Michael asked pulling her to the center of the dance floor.

"Y-Yes," Ayame answered as they began to stretch. Michael watched Ayame's every move. He gawked at her butt as she stretched out her lower legs. _I defiantly DO NOT like this guy. This man is going to be a pain in the ass as long as we're here, _Heine thought curling his hands into fists.

"So how much money do you have?" Mike asked.

"Excuse me?" Ayame asked bewildered at his comment.

"How much money do you have?" Mike repeated.

"I don't think she needs to answer such a question," Heine piped in angrily. He walked to the center of the room confronting the man who looked similar to him.

"You're her body guard I have no time for you. Do you body guarding over there where we're free to dance," Mike snorted.

"I'm not her body guard. I am her future husband!" Heine spat curling his hands into tighter fists.

"Dove don't! We don't need to fight or get angry! Please control yourself," Ayame cried placing her hands on his chest. He relaxed gently looking into her worried eyes.

"Fine…and as for you," Heine began pointing at Mike, "keep your eyes and hands off of Ayame's delicate parts!" Angrily Mike jumped at Heine whom Ayame pushed away to calm them down.

"Please don't do this!" Ayame cried out looking between the two men.

"I won't. But remember what I said," Heine answered before walking away from the dance partners.

"Yeah I'll remember to forget those words," Mike whispered under his breathe. The duo began to dance quietly under the watchful eye of Heine. They created a beautiful dance but Mike had a huge problem with it. There was no KISS scene.

"I don't feel comfortable with that!" Ayame answered shaking her head.

"Well the dance isn't finished yet and I think we'd be more _convincing _if we had a kiss scene in it," Michael explained taking her hands in his.

"I don't feel comfortable…No I won't do it!" Ayame cried.

"It might be the difference between a winning score and a losing score!" Michael accused pushing her with a finger.

"But…I…I don't know," Ayame mumbled. Knowing that she'd give in soon Heine walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly before moving back into Heine's grip.

"Look she doesn't want to do it," Heine answered for her.

"She has her own voice. Let her speak!" Mike spat as Heine wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I…I don't want to do it! I made a promise to Heine that I wouldn't kiss another man!" Ayame confirmed looking up at Mike.

"Fine…I don't think our score will be as high!" Mike retaliated. She looked down sadly feeling as if she let their little team down.

"Don't listen Ayame. Everything will be alright," Heine whispered into her ear lovingly. She nodded happily having her strength renewed by Heine's words.

---

"He was her partner for the whole competition. He tried everything to get her to love him. Normally he said stuff like: Well if we do 'this' then our dance will have a winning score if we don't do 'this' then we'll have a LOSING score," Heine explained angrily.

"Was he a wealthy aristocrat like you?" Athrun asked.

"Yeah…He was a snob though. After he learned that Ayame was poor he dropped her. Of course he learned that she was poor AFTER the competition. He then moved on to Frieda. I think the two snobs were married soon after us," Heine answered.

---

Four Days later

---

"Where's your bodyguard?" Mike asked.

"He's my fiancé for one. He had some business with his family to take care of," Ayame answered.

"What do you see in him?" Mike spat as they started to stretch.

"He's my fiancé! Heine's kind and gentle! He loves me for who I am. He protects me," Ayame said naming off a few of his good traits.

"Well have you ever thought of anyone else?" Mike asked wrapping his arms around her waist. She stiffened quickly as fear overtook her body.

"No I haven't. Heine loves me and I love him!" Ayame answered as Mike began to breathe down her neck. She shook slightly not wanting to show him her fear.

"What about me! I think I'll be a better lover than what's-his-face," Mike believed turning her around in his grip. He captured the back of her head with his hand as he pulled it towards his lips.

"LET GO OF ME!" Ayame cried struggling in his grip.

"You wanna kiss me. You know you do!" Mike chuckled rubbing the back of her neck. She kneed him in the groin for him to release her but that didn't seem to work. She gasped out of surprise as she tried again.

"What happened?! Why isn't it working?!" Ayame muttered.

"Do you think I didn't come prepared? Come on get real. I love you more than that man ever will," Mike explained. She pulled away from him as she tried to call for help.

"LET GO OF ME! HEINE!" Ayame cried trying to get her hands free from pinched between the two of them. The door creaked open to reveal her brother. Running to them he pulled them apart before punching Mike in the face.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Mike asked rubbing his face. Ayame hid behind her older brother as her fear began to subside.

"I'm her brother and what were you trying to do to her?!" Mamoru demanded.

"Don't you recognize me?! I'm Heine!" Mike lied with a chuckle.

"No you're not. Heine's outside," Mamoru answered.

"I'm Heine! Can't you see it? The same orange hair!" Mike lied again.

"If you're Heine then how come Ayame was screaming? I think your practice today is over," Mamoru began, "Ayame get your things."

"Yes sir," Ayame muttered grabbing her bag by the door.

"Good bye. The pageant administrators will defiantly hear about this," Mamoru answered angrily before pushing Ayame out of the room. He pulled her down the flight of stairs and past the front desk to the outside world.

"Ayame? Why aren't you practicing?" Heine asked as Ayame nestled herself in his arms.

"Um…Will you promise not to get angry?" Ayame asked looking into his eyes fearfully.

"It depends," Heine answered rubbing her shaking back gently.

"Mike tried to kiss me," she whispered.

"WHY that," Heine grumbled trying to get past Ayame.

"NO HEINE! NO!" she cried holding onto him.

"Heine, lets go," Mamoru commanded.

"Ye-Yes sir," Heine answered getting into the car. Ayame followed holding onto Heine to make sure he didn't go anywhere.

"So how did your meeting go with your parents?" Ayame asked quietly.

"Um…They're going to disown me," Heine muttered.

"But why?!" Ayame asked.

"Because I'm going to marry you," Heine answered placing his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry…Maybe our engagement is a bad idea?" Ayame thought.

"No! It can't be! I love you and I don't care if I'm disowned! Only thing I care about is you!" Heine cried out shaking her viciously. She let out a small yelp trying to stop Heine from shaking her.

"Heine stop!" Ayame cried as he ceased to shake her.

"I love you. I really do. There's nothing to keep us apart. By the way where do you want the wedding?" Heine asked.

"Um…I really don't know…Bu-But not a we-western wedding. I was thinking about a traditional Japanese wedding," Ayame answered quietly.

"Oh…okay…" Heine answered in the same tone.

"B-But we don't have to if you don't want to!" Ayame explained not wanting to upset her fiancé.

"There you go again Ayame…It's alright…we'll think of something," Heine sighed.

"It's a stupid idea…Western weddings are better anyways," Ayame said in a critical tone.

"Ayame stop it!" Heine snapped, "You always do this! We want you to be happy as well! So stop doing that alright?!"

"Ye-Yes Heine," Ayame answered in a fearful tone.

"Don't yell at her!" Mamoru snapped.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to. I've just been…who am I kidding. Ayame I'm sorry I wasn't trying to yell at you like that," Heine answered.

"Um…It's alright," Ayame whispered.

"Ayame remember I said it was okay to hit me. You can do it right now Ayame," Heine asked nuzzling her nose softly.

"NO! I can't!" Ayame cried.

"Why don't we get onto happier subjects? Ayame, Heine, why don't you two do both weddings, western and Japanese? I can help out with what ever expense you need. I've been saving up money for you Ayame," Mamoru suggested.

"You are too kind. We'll try to make it by with our own money first," Heine answered.

"That's a wonderful idea!...well if Heine thinks so…" Ayame said her tone dwindling to a whisper.

"Ayame," Heine muttered a little annoyed.

"Why do you always get upset with me?" Ayame asked in retaliation.

"Ayame, it's just that you're happy to lie down and let people run all over you. You don't mind giving up your happiness for others!" Heine answered continuing his annoyed voice.

"That isn't true! I'm very happy with the decision you make!" Ayame answered angrily.

"See there you go again! You said: I'm very happy with the decision _you _make!" Heine accused.

"Well don't you want to be happy?!" Ayame spat.

"Of course but what's more important is that you're happy with the decision as well!" Heine retaliated.

"WELL I _AM _HAPPY WITH YOUR DECISION!" Ayame screamed.

"Ayame…WHAT do you want to do for our wedding! WHAT?! Tell me!" Heine hollered.

"Hmpf…What ever you want to do," Ayame muttered.

"AYAME! WHAT THE HELL DO _YOU_ WANNA DO?!" Heine hollered again.

"I WANNA HAVE A FORMAL JAPANESE WEDDING AND I WANNA HAVE A WESTERN WEDDING FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WANNA GO TO THE JAPANESE ONE YOU STUPID JACK ASS!" Ayame screamed at the top of her lungs. She covered her mouth with a small gasp realizing what she had called her fiancé…her _future _husband.

"…Ayame…" Heine whispered. Mamoru had stopped the car and was staring at his flustered sister.

"Heine I didn't mean to! I just…Oh my gosh…What have I said and done! I'm a horrible woman!" Ayame cried as tears began to flow down her face. "I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid! What have I done?! Why am I so horrible?! Why did I say such a thing! Heine I never meant it! I'm such an idiot why would I say such a thing! Heine I'm so sorry! Why did I ever say such a thing to someone like you! Go ahead and punish me!"

---

"That was the first of many fights we had…Hey, we're not perfect. We didn't have fights often except after our daughter was born," Heine explained. Athrun quickly spat out his drink after hearing the words, "after out daughter was born."

"You have a daughter?!" Athrun asked shocked at his words.

"Yes…I guess that was probably one thing that I forgot to tell you," Heine chuckled hesitantly.

"How old is she?" Athrun asked curiously.

"She's eight months old. If you don't mind me being a little conceited but she's adorable and looks just like her mother but she has my eyes," Heine chuckled taking out his wallet again flipping through the flimsy pages before finding a picture of the little one. "This was the last time we…Ayame and I, were able to hold her. That was three months ago…Before she died," Heine explained giving the picture to him. The little girl stared into camera with a confused face but a happy smile. Her parents were holding her between them with melancholy smiles about leaving their daughter behind. Heine was right about his daughter. She had emerald green hair with large emerald green eyes. She wore a little light orange dress that had little brown puppies running around the little dress in tight little rings with a little orange pup cap to match.

"She does look a lot like Ayame. Your daughter seems to be very sweet," Athrun answered giving the picture back to Heine.

"She is very sweet…Ayame said she always had my personality. She'll grow up to be a fine young lady," Heine chuckled lovingly.

"What's her name?" Athrun asked.

"Her name is Hana pronounced "ha" and then "na" Ayame had a fit whenever I said Hannah. It means flower. Hey I'm getting ahead of myself! We're not even at that part of the story yet!" Heine laughed.

"Right," Athrun answered with a small melancholy smile. _How can he stay sane at this time? His wife is dead and he can't even see his daughter. I'm not very sure if I'd be able to stay this calm. Heine must be torn up on the inside. If only I could hide my emotions like that, _Athrun thought looking at his new found friend.


	18. Chapter 18

Never Look Back Chapter 18

---

"Ayame will you marry me?" Mike purposed taking her left hand discarding the one Heine had placed on her. Mike had purposed to her in front of the remaining competing girls and Heine. How could he do something bold, knowing that her answer would be no?

"I already told you no!" Ayame argued pulling her hand away. She ducked away from him picking up Heine's ring. "I'm getting married to Heine and that's final!"

"I love you…I'll love you more than him!" Mike screamed enraged.

"No! I've told you a hundred times no! I'm getting married to Heine. I love Heine! He's going to become my husband!" Ayame cried putting Heine's ring back on her finger. Infuriated by her answers Mike got off his knees and lunged at Ayame. Pushing her to the ground he took hold of her neck.

"Why won't you love me?!" he screamed as Heine pulled him off.

"Because I love Heine no matter what happens between us!" Ayame cried running away from the large crowd. She felt embarrassed for what had happened. There was so many people and on top of that there was Heine. Ayame couldn't take it anymore. She hated the drama…she HATED it…

"Keep him here," Heine ordered following after Ayame. She locked herself in a storage closet weeping her eyes out.

"Ayame open the door," Heine asked knocking on it.

"NO! GO AWAY!" Ayame cried throwing buckets and other objects around her.

"Ayame come on…Open the door for me…It's Heine," Heine soothed knocking again.

"I looked like an idiot. I looked unfaithful! I'm a slut!" Ayame cried.

"No you're not. Open the door please Ayame!" Heine asked. She unlocked the door slowly pushing the door slowly.

"There…happy," she muttered.

"Come here," Heine soothed reaching for his fiancée. She obeyed slowly getting into his arms.

"I'm a slut…why do you want to marry a whore?" Ayame muttered.

"No you're not. Why would you say something like that," Heine chuckled kissing her forehead softly.

"Then why do men pursue me? I must be some type of whore for them to do such things! Besides I'm not worthy of your love. I called you a jack ass," Ayame cried. Heine sighed pulling her into an empty practice room.

"Forgive and forget right," Heine chuckled wiping tears off her face. "You once told me that our love is strong enough to overcome anything. In two days it'll be your big day. Out of 12 dances you have had a perfect 30 all the way across. Come on cheer up."

"Right," she muttered as tears continued to fall down her cheeks.

"Alright…I think today you'll have a relaxing day…A spa day," Heine whispered into her hair. She blushed gently as Heine hugged her comfortably.

"Will you come too? Will you be there too?" Ayame asked.

"Of course," Heine smiled kissing her neck softly.

---

"Wow…Did I make a mistake by saying that…I mean I liked seeing her with only a towel on but she was even more insecure with just a towel," Heine laughed, "she jumped if anything touched her."

"I would imagine," Athrun chuckled as Heine continued laughing.

---

"I wonder where she is," Heine thought aloud staring at the bubbling water around him. Ten minutes later Ayame cleared her throat quietly covering herself with a towel.

"Ma-May I join you?" Ayame asked shaking from insecurity. Heine turned his head quickly hopefully to see her in her birthday suit but was slightly disappointed to see the towel.

"Of course. Come here," Heine said beckoning her closer. She obeyed his command but hesitated to take off the towel.

"I-I…do-don't…Can I-I leave th-the towel on?" Ayame asked her face turning bright red.

"Yeah…This hot spring belongs to the family and mother used to do it when I was younger," Heine chuckled taking her left hand. He frowned slightly seeing that the ring was removed.

"Did I do something wrong?!" Ayame asked as she stepped into the spring.

"No…I was just surprised to see that you took off the ring," Heine explained as she sat next to him. He wrapped his hand around her waist lovingly. At the moment of contact Ayame squealed loudly struggling from his grip.

"LET ME GO!" she cried pushing him away.

"Relax Ayame…I just want to hold you, that's all," Heine answered in a soothing tone. She held on to the towel tightly staring into Heine's eyes fearfully.

"U-Um…alright," Ayame stuttered. She allowed him to wrap his arm around her again as they sat in silence.

"Sooo," Heine chuckled rubbing her waist. She jumped slightly holding on to her towel even tighter.

"S-So," Ayame mimicked trying to stay calm.

"Everything will be alright," Heine answered with a gentle brush to her face. She blushed softly but squirmed again as he tried to kiss her.

"Where's your towel?!" Ayame asked scooting away from him again.

"I don't like wearing towels in hot springs. So I took mine off, I can put it back on if you want," Heine answered pulling her close again. He felt her tense body with a slight sigh he tried to pull her onto his lap. In a frenzied panic Ayame flailed her arms screaming loudly.

"LET GO!" Ayame cried scratching Heine's face in her panic.

"OW! AYAME!" he hollered grabbing her hands and pinned her against the wall. She screamed again trying to get free.

"LET ME GO!" she cried again. Knowing that if he continued to hold on she'd probably scratch him again so he released her. She continued to flail before calming down. Her hair was soaked giving her the appearance of a wet cat.

"Are you calm?" Heine asked breathing hard.

"Yes…Don't do that again," Ayame cried.

"I was just trying to massage your shoulders. Can you relax for that?" Heine asked touching his wound.

"I can try," Ayame answered.

"You have to sit on my lap," Heine suggested pulling her back on to his lap. She fidgeted slightly as Heine touched her back with gentle hands. She groaned softly as the tight muscles loosened. She did begin to relax because of Heine's efforts. He kissed the back of her neck tenderly kindling more groans from her.

"He-Heine," she groaned trying to control herself.

"You keep saying my name Turtle Dove…keep saying it. It turns me on," Heine whispered seductively into her ear. She blushed delicately as Heine move his hands down her back.

"Above the waist," she snapped.

Heine chuckled weakly, "I thought I'd at least try." She looked back at him harshly before facing forward again.

"Are we married?" Ayame asked as he continued caressing her shoulders and back.

"No…We're not…And to make it up to you…I'll make you groan more," Heine muttered in a playful tone. He nipped her ear giving rise to a gasp and a small moan.

"St-Stop," Ayame mumbled clutching the towel tightly.

"Alright…may I ask why?" Heine asked twisting her to the side so it would be easier to see her face.

"Um…Your mother is here…that's why," Ayame whispered wrapping one arm around his neck.

"Well HELLOO! Isn't this a coincidence to see you TWO here!" the mother greeted coming out of the dressing room. _What the hell is she doing here…_Heine thought with an angered smile.

"Mother…well…yeah…" Heine mumbled moving away from his approaching mother.

"Heine…Aw isn't this cute! You two look adorable in that position together. My my…have you two been having FUN?" she asked sitting in the water with her.

"What?! NO!" Heine answered pulling Ayame closer to him.

"Really? Then what was all the moaning about?" she asked with a smug smile.

"He was massaging my shoulders. I-I really enjoyed it," Ayame answered with hints of blush sprinkled upon her face.

"Oh did you really," his mother muttered.

"He's really good. I really like it," Ayame explained as Heine tightened his grip again. Uncomfortably Ayame shifted her body weight trying to escape the tight grip. Unfortunate for her he held on relentlessly not ready to release her.

"I'm going to get out," Heine explained releasing his fiancée.

"Heine…the engagement ring you gave her is suiting for her peasant life style," the mother babbled as Ayame got off his lap.

"haha…yes…" Ayame chuckled hesitantly. Tears settled at the bottom of her eyes as she turned away from Heine.

"You go ahead Ayame," Heine said trying to comfort her. He helped her out of the spring being his gentle self kissing her hand softly. She walked away quickly not wanting to cry in front of them. Once she was gone Heine turned back to his mother with fierce anger.

"How could you say that?! WHY would you say that?!" Heine growled.

"What do you mean? I'm telling the truth honey. She is a noble peasant…but a peasant none the less," she answered.

"Don't call her that! She's going to be apart of this family and you should at least respect her! I don't care if she a "peasant." Ayame is the woman of my dreams and we've been dating for a while. I want to marry her. I'm going to marry her! EVEN IF you DO disown me! I will still love her with all my heart," Heine hollered. He stepped out of the tub, wrapping himself in a towel, before leaving to the dressing room. _That boy is so stubborn, _his mother thought with a loud sigh of disappointment.

---

"Are you alright?" Heine asked as they settled in for the night. Being the gentleman he is, Heine helped her into bed before joining her on the other side.

"Yeah…" she muttered.

"Are you sure" Heine questioned worriedly. After the event with Heine's mother, Ayame had been quiet for the whole day.

"I'll be fine…Heine…" Ayame muttered as Heine gently pressed her down into a laying position.

"You're not a peasant," Heine sighed pulling the blanket over them.

"I'm not thinking about that," Ayame paused, "I AM thinking about that…I…I'm not the best person out there…I mean what if your mother is right? Heine what if marrying a "peasant" will bring you down? What if this is just lust not love?"

"Ayame…Please don't say that. Please don't have doubts now. I love you! How can it be lust? Don't you love me?" Heine asked sitting above Ayame.

"Of course I love you! I just…I'm not sure if I'm the right one for you…you know…" Ayame hesitated.

"Ayame you are…You need to have more faith in yourself. Please you really do," Heine began, "I would jump off a building if you told me to. I'm your eternal lover. Ayame please don't doubt me…or this relationship. I want our love to last but you can't do this…not now…The war has ONLY been over for two months. Please I love you." He looked into her eyes yearningly before resting his head on her shoulder.

"Heine…I won't give up…It's just that…I can't take it anymore…Your mother is pulling me apart little by little!" Ayame whispered. He nodded wrapping his arms around her neck.

"Good night," Heine muttered.

"I love you," Ayame answered with a slight chuckle going through his soft orange hair.


	19. Chapter 19

Never Look Back Chapter 19

---

"So here's the seat," Heine mumbled as the crowd raged with cheer for the upcoming event. It was the day that someone would be named the Dancing Queen. He saw Frieda's family and Michael's family. He scrunched his nose with disgust within seconds of seeing them.

"Oh Heine! Hello Heine!" Frieda's mother said waving at him. He waved back with a fake smile before turning away. _It's going to begin soon…I hope…_Heine thought. The lights dimmed to his happiness and the announcer came on to the stage.

"Hi I'm Michelle Simmons and welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls to the 12th Annual Dancing Queen competition is about to begin. For the last four weeks our dancers have preformed different types of dances some with partners and some in groups. Now it is time to choose the future Dancing Queen of the PLANTs. Our dancers have come from all over the PLANTs to perform for our live audience and for our television viewers. Out of our 10 contestants only ONE luck female can take the title," Ms. Simmons boomed. The crowd cheered and screamed happily. Heine clapped gently as the Honda family joined him in the front row.

"HEINE!" Jun cried lovingly climbing on to Heine's lap.

"Hey Jun how are you?" Heine chuckled hugging the tiny tot.

"Good! Ayame is going to dance!" she whispered in his ear. He smiled at the fact that she loved to state the obvious.

"Yes she is!" Heine chuckled sitting her in her seat. The crowd died down as Ms. Simmons was ready to speak again.

"Now let's meet our contestants," she began, "Our first contestant from December 1: Elizabeth Morse. She's 17 years old and has been dancing ever since she was 4 years old. Elizabeth would like to thank her mother for pushing her to strive this hard to get to the top." The crowd cheered loudly as the black haired beauty with the rosy red lips came out on the stage.

"Where's Aya-chan?" Jun asked pulling Mitsuho's shirt.

"She's coming," Mitsuho told her with a sigh.

"Ms. Vivian Preston is our second contestant. Ms. Preston is 22 and loves to dance in her free time. Currently she lives in Januarius 3. She wants to open her own dance studio so she can teach anyone who wants to learn. She thanks her family and friends for all their hard work and supporting her," Simmons called out as the next pretty perfect girl came out. This one had dark chestnut brown hair with baby blue eyes.

"Where's Aya-chan?" Jun asked this time directing her question to her oldest brother Mamoru.

"She's coming. Patience is a virtue Jun-chan," Mamoru answered playing with the little girl's hair. She sighed out of frustration before crossing her arms in a pout.

"Our next contestant to join these two pretty women is Charlotte Walker from September City 7. This beautiful woman is 19 years old and is currently looking for a _significant other_. Are you listening men? Dancing has always been one of her passions and she would love to continue it through her college career. She thanks her loyal family and fans for her achievement of getting this far," Simmons answered.

"Is Onee-chan coming yet?" Jun whined fidgeting in the chair. She stared into Heine's eyes shaking his arm.

"Didn't your brother tell you to be patient?" Heine asked in a stern tone. Knowing that Jun would continue to ask the question.

"Yes," Jun muttered.

"Then please sit still and be patient," Heine answered. She frowned gently crossing her arms even tighter. Heine chuckled softly as the conceited sapphire blue haired Charlotte walked by waving to the crowd.

"Our next contestant comes from Maius 4 and her name is: Laura Graham at the age of 21. She loves to sing as well as dance in her free time. She would love to be a teacher to kindergarten students when she gets her degree. She wants to thank her father for allowing her to strive to be the very best," Simmons called. Heine began to get tired at looking at the conceited women. This one had freckles and red hair with matching red lipstick. Bored, Heine looked off towards the corners of the stage not listening to the droning voice of Michelle Simmons. The other 5 contestants were: Hayley Roger, Kimi Higa, Chloe Jackson, Jasmine Elijah, and Frieda Reinhardt.

"AYA!" Masumi cried stretching her hands out to the gussy upped Ayame on stage. She still remained her humble self as she walked across the stage.

"Our final contestant is Dancing Princess Ayame Honda originally from the moon. She is 19 years old and has been dancing ever since she could stand. She is glad that her fiancé and family was able to join her for this night and to support her. She believes that every girl here deserves the title even though their name may not be called," Simmons finished. Ayame smiled bashfully as she joined the women in the center of the stage. The crowd cheered and screamed at the ten formally dressed women.

"Now that you've meet our ladies we'll now commence with the dance competition," Simmons called.

---

"She loved dancing…so much. After the pageant she opened a dance studio and became a choreographer. Ayame danced in the musicals: _Chicago, the Producers, Moulin Rouge, Westside Story _and many others," Heine smiled warmly imagining his deceased wife dancing on the stage.

"She must have had many people who went to her," Athrun answered thoughtfully.

"It was moderate. Ayame never charged that much for the lessons. Hell she even taught me to dance and to dance well," Heine chuckled. _I loved dancing with her…EXCEPT when she became frustrated with me _Heine thought noticing that his vision was becoming blurred by the effects of the alcohol.

"You never knew how to dance when you met her?" Athrun asked as Heine placed his drink down.

"Oh I knew how because I had to participate in a Cotillion…I hated it and all its snobbery. I once told Ayame that I'd rather die a middle class man then to live out my life with a snob. I enjoyed not having all the luxuries I had when I was a child. I mean sure I missed some of them but I felt **normal** when I was with Ayame," Heine explained.

"So you like being middle class," Athrun asked to confirm what he said.

"Of course. It's not as romanticized as the upper life crap. I wish I was middle class…I wish my life was more like Ayame's. My life was more complicated but I liked it. It made my life interesting," Heine chuckled. He wished to hold her tight against his body once more. Even if it was just for a minute or a second…he just wanted to hold her one last time.

---

"Heine…what are you doing back here?" Ayame asked seeing Heine with a single rose.

"You're about to go on and I wanted to say break a leg," Heine said with his normal cheerful smile. Earlier she flipped out when he said "good luck" to her because it was BAD luck to say good luck when you were competing.

"Thanks Heine…You're the best fiancé I could ever have," Ayame whispered wrapping her arms around his neck.

Heine chuckled, "It's no problem. This is your second and final dance of the night right?"

"Yes…It has to be from my heritage….Oh got to go! See you later Heine!" Ayame cried out leaving Heine backstage. She sigh gently feeling anxiety well up inside of her. She positioned herself for the music to start receiving the courage to dance in front of the audience and tv viewers. Knowing that he didn't have enough time to go back to his seat Heine remained backstage watching Ayame curiously.

---

"I can't remember the name of Ayame's dance but she was very beautiful and very precise with every movement. Her family had passed that dance down through her family for generations even before the Cosmic Era. Her mother taught her parts of it before she died but her grandmother taught her most of it. She loved the dance and would perform it for me every once in awhile, many times after I asked. Like normal she received a 50/50 (A/N: I know it said 30/30 the last time but it SHOULD be 50/50). Her dances were spectacular! I loved that about her…every dance she made was original or passed down through generations upon generations of family members," Heine explained with loving tender care.

"Dancing was her life besides you and your daughter, right?" Athrun asked curiously.

"Yeah…basically. How Ayame responded to the results may surprise you," Heine chuckled.

---

"You have watched our dancers perform TWO not ONE but TWO types of dances tonight. Some of which made your eyes bleed and others made you tear up with inspiration. Now with the judges scores and TV votes one will be picked as the Dancing Queen tomorrow night to give our TV viewers enough time to vote. So please vote for your favorite dancer that you have seen tonight. Now lets look at the leader board, "Miss Simmons began, "So it seems like there is a tie for first place between Ayame and Frieda with scores of perfect 50's, and trailing not too far behind with a 49 Jasmine and in third place with a 47 is Chloe but your votes can turn this into ANYONE'S crown!" The crowd clapped and cheered as Heine greeted his girlfriend behind stage.

"I would kiss you but your make-up looks so perfect I don't want to ruin it. You looked great out there!" Heine cheered hugging the woman tightly.

She giggled before yawning, "Let's go home. I'll change there."

"Alright…That sounds like an invitation," Heine joked wrapping his arm around her waist. Feeling insulted Ayame slapped him across the cheek before storming away from him.

"We're not married yet," she muttered.

"I think I deserved that," Heine chuckled catching up with his wife to be.

---

"She's only slapped me a couple of times but I think I deserve the hits she has given me. I think one time was a little over the top but all the other times I was horny or being extremely playful," Heine laughed as Athrun chuckled along with him.

---

"Hello and welcome back! Last night you watched our amazing dancers perform exotic, daring and courageous dances," Simmons boomed as the crowd was in an uproar of cheer and loud screams. "Now our dancers have performed for the last four weeks and only one is going to be crowned Dancing Queen." The seats were the same and little Jun still wasn't comfortable but this time she was wearing a formal dress for her sister's possible award. She picked at the dress as it itched her skin harshly.

"Sit still little one," Heine soothed rubbing the little girl's arms. She nodded quickly trying to relieve herself of scratching. For the first hour they watched recaps of each dance and the judges' scores. The next hour they introduced each girl one by one about where they lived and what they wanted to do in life. Since Ayame and Frieda tied for first Ayame was humble enough to go second to last and she wore her princess crown. She answered the questions they gave her before joining the other girls. _Frieda's the most conceited girl out there…Tsh…how the hell did she get this far? _Heine thought as she gave her speech and soon joined Ayame and the others girls. They took a small commercial break as tv crews gathered the girls' families so they could join her on stage if she won. Heine picked up Jun following the Honda family backstage. The commercial break was ten minutes long and everyone was getting anxious.

"Now for the time we've all been waiting for," Simmons began. _Now for them to name me as Dancing Queen…_Frieda thought smiling warmly. _PLEASE…please, please don't pick me…don't pick me…don't pick me, _Ayame thought feeling the anxiety dwell inside her. _I know it's going to be me…now just pick me _Jasmine thought quickly.

"Honda Ayame," Simmons called out causing the crowd to cheer and Ayame to gasp. She frowned slightly as the girls hugged her. _They weren't supposed to pick me…I don't deserve it. All these girls deserve it…but not me…_Ayame thought humbly as her princess crown was removed and the queen one was placed on top of her head. They directed her towards the microphone as tears brimmed from her eyes.

"I…I don't think I deserve this. I'm defiantly not as pretty as Jasmine no not pretty but as gorgeous as Jasmine and my dancing is precise but not as graceful as Chloe's. Elizabeth you have the most graceful jumps and you ALWAYS land without faltering. Vivian you have the best contemporary dances I have ever seen in all the years that I have been dancing. Charlotte you can dance and sing so precisely I think you should be a pop star because I would defiantly go and watch you. Laura you're a great ballet dancer and I know that any ballet company would be crazy not to accept you. Hayley your tango was hot and I believe you really deserve a 50/50 not a 48. Kimi no matter where you go in the dance world I believe you'll get the lead part every single time. And last but not least Frieda…We've been competing since…since forever and I really do believe that the nine of you really deserve this title not me. I mean look at all of you…you come from high and upstanding home and I'm just your average girl…Every single one of you guys will go far and wide," Ayame answered as tears continued to fall from her eyes. The crowd cheered loudly as Ayame walked back to the center of the stage to be greeted by her fiancé and her family. Heine hugged her tightly to sooth the tears coming from her eyes.

"You're very humble," Heine whispered into her ear kissing the side of her cheek.

"Really…I just don't think I deserve the title," Ayame whispered back.

"Yes you do," Heine chuckled before lifting her into the air causing the crowd to cheer even louder. The ladies who didn't win clapped but Jasmine cheered loudly knowing that she had found a friend. _I think she's sweet…She wasn't competition…she was a friend all this time, _Jasmine thought. For the TV viewers the credits began to roll as the audience members began to leave.

"I'm tired…let's go?" Ayame asked as Heine placed her on the ground.

"Alright," Heine answered as her family began to leave.

"Wait…Ayame," Jasmine called out approaching her.

"I'll be outside," Heine chuckled.

"I had always thought of you as a predator to my goal to become dancing queen but I never noticed that you were more a friend. I would love to get to know you better. I've already achieved my goal…I got this far and I'm really happy about that. Here's my phone number and address. I hope we really get to know each other. I'm not doing this for publicity or anything I really do want to get to know you," Jasmine answered giving Ayame a hug.

"Thank you for saying that. I'm sorry that I can't stay and chat but my family is waiting. I hope we get together soon," Ayame smiled leaving her new found friend.

---

"Jasmine and Ayame remained very close in the years till her death. Heck Jasmine was even her maid of honor. I was a little weary about her at first but she ended up being like me. She hated the snobbery as much as I did. Jasmine was a common friend at our house. I think she's married now and expecting their first child in June or was it August," Heine explained ordering another water.

"That's great. You never talked about any of her friends," Athrun answered.

"Really? I guess I have been focusing more on "us" then anyone else. She has many friends. She didn't have any real close friends besides Jasmine. She was afraid that they would backstab her," Heine said apologetically.

---

I'm back! Now to hopefully recover all the ground I lost from my computer crashed! Read and Review and I hope everyone has a great new year!


	20. Chapter 20

Never Look Back Chapter 20

---

So I'm back finally! I love the art of writing and this is my first chapter of the New Year.

---

"After the contest there was a scandal about Ayame. Chloe believed that the results were biased because Ayame was marrying the sponsors' son. Ayame was going to hand over the crown to Frieda, who was runner-up, so there were no problems but Frieda wouldn't take it. Later on my parents put out a statement: 'We are not allowed to vote in this contest. We have not biased the voting in anyway.' Frieda also said that in the contest rules nothing stated that you had to forfeit your crown if you were going to marry the sponsors' son. All the women fought to keep her crown except Chloe. I thought it was amazing that all the women would do something like that. Ayame kept the crown and the title remains with the person for life…although Ayame's ruling was…short," Heine explained.

"I wonder why they did. They seemed jealous of Ayame's amazing talent," Athrun suggested.

"Yeah they were. After the contest Ayame hid from the media and we escaped to do the "destination" wedding in Japan. Her siblings came and eagerly my parents. By that time we already "legally" married because we had to be to go through with the ceremony. Surprisingly my real father had invited friends to the wedding. She explained a lot to me about what to do. She was to "painted" white from head to toe to declare her status of purity? Or was it as a maiden? Her grandmother made an all white kimono for her. It was beautiful. It's at our house hidden so no one can steal it. Her grandmother also created a kimono for me. I felt a little awkward in it. The ceremony was elaborate and beautiful. I wish I could explain it as well as Ayame did. The one thing that REALLY worried me was that part of the ceremony, you had to drink Sake. You know Ayame and alcohol…caused her to get wiry, giddy and she wouldn't stop laughing. Basically there were three cups of sake and I was to take three sips and then she did and then the family drank from it. After that it would repeat with the other two cups. I wish I could explain it better but I don't know how. Her grandparents were very nice and they loved to see Ayame so happy. They said that after her parents died she was so upset that she tried to commit suicide. I never told you this but after Yukio left her she tried to commit suicide again. She can't cope with problem well…she normally tries to escape by doing the absolute sacrifice. Don't worry I fixed that problem…she never tried suicide again. You looked so surprise…she never tried to cut herself if you thought it was brutal," Heine explained ordering another glass of beer.

_Flashback_

"_Mmm?" Hana questioned sitting in her baby seat. Heine stared at her holding a beer bottle and a glass in his hand. He poured the contents from the bottle into the glass before lifting it to his lips. Hana squirmed in her chair making small baby sounds her arms flared as she stared at her father. Tears flowed from Heine's eyes as he poured the contents of the glass into a container next to him. Although his state of mind said get drunk he couldn't bring himself to drink. Heine had already opened and wasted 12 bottles of beer and a bottle of scotch. He stared at his daughter across the table imagining Ayame picking up their sweet daughter. Imagining the laughter the two of them shared. He broke into a sob leaning his head on the table. Dropping the glass into the container he pounded his free hand upon the table. Frightened Hana began to sob from the loud noises Heine had created._

"_Hey little one…don't cry. If so let's cry together," Heine soothed placing the bottle on the table before picking up his little daughter. Her cries began to die down along with Heine's. She loved to be held and Heine was always comforting to her._

"_Hey flower…everything will be alright. Hana baby…Everything is alright," Heine soothed as he bounced her and kissed her small velvety cheeks._

_End Flashback_

"Sir? Is everything alright? You've been staring at that glass for about five minutes," Athrun asked shaking Heine. The alcoholic beverage brought back bitter memories of missing his wife.

"Yes…I…I…remembered something…that happened…after my wife's death…I don't want to talk about that…" Heine answered as he pinched back tears.

"Sir…maybe this is enough for one night. You need your sleep," Athrun expressed but stubbornly Heine shook his head no.

---

"The wedding is soon…And we have everything planned out. Your dress is…something that I haven't seen," Heine chuckled holding his "fiancée" in his arms.

"We're already married…I'm nervous…" Ayame muttered adjusting her glasses.

Heine kissed her lips, "Everything will be fine. You're having the bachlorette party tonight, right?"

"Yeah…I'm suppose to leave in an hour," Ayame answered.

"Where are you going?" Heine asked curiously following Ayame to her room.

"They didn't tell me. I'll tell you all about it when I get back," Ayame answered as she picked up her brush. Heine smiled happily twirling a piece of her soft hair in his hands.

"I hope you have fun," Heine whispered into her seductively. He purred like a tiger as he caressed her belly gently and kissed her neck. She squealed softly before escaping his grip.

"Remember Heine, no sex before this wedding," Ayame chuckled as she bounded out of the room with her comb. Heine chuckled with false playfulness as he followed her out of the room. They watched a movie for an hour before it was time for Ayame to go.

"Hey Ayame!" Jasmine cheered after Ayame opened the door. She quickly blindfolded Ayame before taking her to the limo. The girls cheered for their bride-to-be as they secured her in a seat and drove off. They arrived at a bar minutes later and they pulled the bride-to-be out of the limo and inside. Of course they didn't want her drunk after one or two sips of anything so everything they ordered for her was virgin or did not have alcohol.

"So how did you meet Heine?" Jasmine asked sipping a margarita.

"I was being transferred to a new unit and I was chilly and Heine offered me his coat. Everything continued from there. We fell in love and look at where we are now," Ayame giggled playfully.

"How old were you?" a friend named Catherina asked.

"17...We've been dating for two years," Ayame answered.

"What turns you on?" Jasmine asked as the ladies giggled and cried out with cheer.

"Well what do you think turns me on about him?" Ayame asked.

"Ooh…Aren't you smart. Well I'd say his face. He's pretty cute and down right sexy," Jasmine answered.

"His personality…his face is defiantly apart of it. He also his tight muscles," Ayame dreamed with a dream-like sigh.

"Have you ever seen his…" a girl named Ayano giggled.

"Hey I'm waiting and yearning to see that! Besides I wouldn't tell you if I knew what it looks like," Ayame chuckled.

"So you wouldn't tell us how BIG it is…I mean a guy of that nature probably has a huge one," Ayano answered.

Ayame laughed, "Hey stop intruding on my territory! His weewee and everything else is going to be mine in a couple of weeks. And I can't wait!"

"Have you ever seen a quote un-quote weewee," Catherina asked with a giggle the other girls giggled as Ayame blushed softly.

"N-No," Ayame answered. One of the other girls whistled and a male stripper dressed as a lumberjack approached Ayame. He said some dirty words to her as he began to take off his clothes in front of her. Frightened by the sight of a man stripping in front of her Ayame ran away from her bachelorette party before locking herself in the bathroom. She pulled out her phone and dialed Heine's number.

"Hello? Are you having fun?" Heine asked expecting Ayame to be calling him out of happiness.

"There's a stripper! There's a male stripper! Oh my…I…I'm not trying to cheat on you! There's a stripper!" Ayame cried out over the phone.

"Calm down Ayame. Do you want me to pick you up?" Heine asked.

"Yes! Please come! There's a stripper! There's a male stripper!" Ayame cried again. Back at the party Jasmine fumed angrily.

"I told you guys to NOT and I repeat NOT invite a stripper. You know how Ayame gets. Sorry fella. We'll pay you for coming out but you're going to have to put on your clothes and leave," Jasmine boomed before rushing over to the bathroom.

"Ayame," Jasmine asked knocking on a bathroom stall.

"Why?" Ayame asked on the other side.

"It wasn't me who invited him. It was someone else. Sorry about that Ayame," Jasmine expressed sorrowfully.

"Heine's coming to pick me up," Ayame muttered as she opened the door. She washed her hands being the germaphob that she was.

"I'm not going to stop you from leaving. Let's go outside. Did you tell him where you were?" Jasmine asked taking her out of the bathroom and to the front of the bar.

"Yeah…he's on his way," Ayame answered.

"I'm really sorry about what happened Ayame," Jasmine said sadly. They waited about 17 minutes and Heine pulled up in his car. That was the time Ayame began to hyperventilate.

"Ayame? Ayame!" Heine called out rushing to her side. He placed his hands on her cheeks as she began to go down to the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" Ayame breathed.

"Hey stay with me! Relax Ayame! Relax!" Heine expressed as she blacked out. Lifting her feet to rush blood to her head Heine tried to revive her.

"Oh gosh…Ayame," Jasmine cried as she saw her unconscious friend.

"You're going to drive. We have to take her to the hospital," Heine ordered picking up his "future" wife.

"Do you want to get some orange juice or something?" Jasmine asked.

"Yes and hurry," Heine answered picking up his wife and placing her in the back of the car. Jasmine hurried back outside with some orange juice as Ayame began to come around.

"Heine?" she asked looking back and forward.

"I'm here! Just lay down," Heine began, "Jasmine drive." Following Heine's orders she drove as safely as she could to the hospital.

---

"She came out fine of course. The reason why she passed out is that she felt as if she was cheating on me," Heine replied. "She kept apologizing over and over again."

"She was an insecure woman…wasn't she?" Athrun asked.

"I never wanted to believe it but yes…she was. She always wanted to please me before herself. My hunger would come before hers. One day I wasn't that hungry and Ayame was starving and she made me a sandwich as she tried to keep herself conscious. Whenever I tried to give her the sandwich she'd turn away. I got her to eat it luckily. Which was another problem I helped fix," Heine answered with a sigh.

"Sir…If you don't mind me asking…How come you never quit?" Athrun asked cautiously.

"Quit? The military? I…I have a duty to Z.A.F.T. even if it means being away from my baby. If the war was a little quieter I would resign…but I have to protect my daughter's wellbeing…for my wife's sake…for my sake," Heine answered.


	21. Chapter 21

Never Look Back Chapter 21

---

Last chapter was supposed to be their western wedding included. But I think that this one will have the wedding in it.

---

"Did she get drunk after drinking the sake?" Athrun asked.

"Oh yes…I forgot to tell you that didn't I? Luckily she recovered quickly but then she was too tired to do anything," Heine chuckled.

---

"Heine are you alright?" Kane asked.

"Yes…I'm just nervous…I don't think I can do this…" Heine muttered weakly.

"What happened to my friend? I still can't believe you're marrying old four eyes," Kane answered.

"She's not old. We're the same age. And quit calling her four eyes!" Heine answered.

"When's her birthday anyways?" Kane asked as Heine paced back and forward.

"Huh? Oh…We're not really sure. On different documents it says her birthday is on September 18 on others it says September 19. Heck even her older brother is unsure which day," Heine answered.

"Your birthday is on the 19th!" Kane answered.

"Yes it is. I would love it is her birthday was on mine!" Heine chuckled hesitantly as he continued to pace.

"Relax Heine. What's your problem anyways? You love her right?" Kane asked.

"Of course! Wouldn't you be nervous?!" Heine asked.

"Just think about what's going to happen tonight," Kane joked. Heine paused in his pace going over the thought before continuing.

"Kane," Heine muttered.

"Yeah?" he asked curiously.

"Shut up," Heine muttered.

"Hey it's time!" his step-father signaled as Heine walked back into the room where they were having the wedding. The wedding was in a small theater that Heine used to love going to when he was a small child. He watched his and her family members pour into the theater. It was easy to tell her family members from his. Hers were dressed in formal Japanese attire while his were dressed in formal western clothing. Sure some of his family members wore traditional German clothing but not many. Then their friends entered. Ayame had given her bridesmaids a choice, either they could wear kimono of matching color schemes or the bridesmaid dresses she had chosen. Her grandmother was going to make all the kimono but only her maid**s **of honor wore the kimono. Originally there was only one maid of honor which was a close Japanese friend named Bachiko but Bachiko could not attend the ceremony in the beginning so Jasmine took on the role as maid of honor. Just as everything was sorted out Bachiko called Ayame and said that she had found the time to come to the wedding. And in the end to be fair to the two of them Bachiko and Jasmine were maids of honor. Out of nervousness Heine began to fidget slightly before loosening his collar. Mitsuho and Jun were the ring bearer and flower girl. The last bridesmaid walked down the aisle which meant Ayame would be walking down soon. Everyone stood up as he veiled beauty walked by with her brother. He retrieved his future wife at the bottom of the steps helping the rest of the way. The maids of honor fluffed her dress so it wouldn't be wrinkled.

"Hi," Ayame whispered to him bashfully. The veil was still over her face but he could see that she was blushing ferociously.

"Hello," he whispered back. As instructed he removed the veil from her face causing Ayame to become even more bashful. Ayame watched Heine throughout the whole ceremony commonly blushing at the features she liked the most.

"Ayame," the judge asked shaking her slightly. She had been staring at Heine throughout the whole thing not listening to a word the judge was saying.

"Oh yes? Sorry," Ayame answered.

"The ring and your vows," he asked showing her to Mitsuho's pillow. She picked up the bigger ring as she held Heine's hand in hers.

"First I would like to say is…I love you, Heine. You were a great friend before becoming a greater lover. You have been with me through tough times and I know more will come which we will always get through. You have been my turtle dove ever since you called me turtle dove. I am fully committed to you and everything you do. I will support you and protect you as you protect me. I will always be with you to hold you when times are bad. We will always have each other. With this ring, I pledge our undying faith and eternal love," Ayame pledged placing the ring on his finger. Her blush covered her face gently as he squeezed her hand. Heine picked up her ring taking her hand in his.

"Honda, Ayame…you have one of the prettiest names I have ever heard. I love you very much Ayame Honda. You're not a blushing bri…" Heine began as the crowd gasped.

"Excuse me?" Ayame asked above a whisper.

"What I meant was your not the giddy bride that forces her way through any line to make her wedding day perfect. No, you remained your normal self through out all the troubles and problems. That's why I love you. No matter how hard it gets you help keep me calm and collective. I will always stay committed to you because I'll never stop loving you. We've gone through a lot together and I will always protect you when you need protecting. And I know that you will always have my back. I'm very excited to be your husband in this new chapter in our lives. So with this ring, I give you all my love, commitment, pride and faith," Heine announced placing the ring on her finger.

"Heine go ahead and kiss your bride," the judge chuckled. Bashfully the couple kissed each other as the crowd cheered and applauded.

"I present to you, Heine and Ayame Westenfluss," the judge announced as Heine and Ayame faced the crowd. Heine smiled widely knowing that Ayame was his wife and his parents failed to stop their wedding. Ayame's smile was bashful and her face was a light pink.

"See Ayame you're a bride that is blushing but not a blushing bride," Heine chuckled as they descended the stairs.

"Thanks," Ayame answered as they walked down the aisle as a couple. After getting out of the theater Heine picked up Ayame causing her to squeal. He took her down to the limo which took them to the reception.

---

"Normally we would have had champagne but I didn't like the taste of it. So we had wine instead," Heine explained with a slight laugh.

---

"It's time for the mother/son dance. Heine, Ms. Didrika come to the dance floor," the announcer called. Before leaving his wife Heine kissed her softly. He joined his mother on the dance floor dancing slowly with her.

"So you married Ayame," his mother whispered as they danced around the floor.

"Yeah. She's the love of my life. Aren't you at least a little happy?" Heine asked at the same volume.

"As long as you two don't have kids," she muttered.

"We're having kids. Why can't you be happy? I want today to be perfect but you're making it sour," Heine answered.

"Heine…alright…you win. I'll accept her into this family but when you have kids you must bring them over when they're babies, toddlers, children, teens and then they'll come as adults," she whispered as the dance ended.

"Now for the brother/sister dance, Mamoru…Ayame, please proceed to the dance floor," the do announced as Heine escorted his mother back to her table. In the middle of the dance Heine was to take over and dance the rest of that song and then their song. He watched the siblings dance around on the floor happily before cutting in on their dance. Mamoru chuckled softly leaving the couple to dance around on the dance floor.

"I never knew your brother was married," Heine whispered to his wife as he pulled her close to him.

"Yeah…They have a 2 year old son and a baby girl that's going to arrive next month," Ayame answered wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I love you Ayame. I can't believe that this has finally happened," Heine chuckled kissing her cheek.

She giggled, "You made it happen. When you proposed. I was so happy. I never wanted that part of the day to end."

"I love dancing with you," Heine whispered trying to pull her closer to him.

"Me too…Can't we just dance the night away?" Ayame whined playfully as their song ended.

"Before we get to more dancing let's begin with the toasts," the DJ announced as Ayame and Heine sat back down. Servers came around with wine for the adults and grape juice for the children. Kane went to the microphone with his glass looking over at the couple.

"I first met Heine at the academy and I thought, "this guy is too optimistic." It really annoyed me but once we were out on a ship and the battle field I noticed how much optimism was needed after battles. That's where I began to appreciated Heine's optimism. Ayame…I'm sorry that I never got to meet you. I'm glad that you have a spell on Heine because if you two didn't fall in love Heine would be so love sick. I hope you two have a happy and prosperous marriage," Kane acknowledged. Ayame smiled softly giving Kane a slight nod. The men, women and children toasted to the couple. Knowing that she couldn't have alcohol Ayame was supposed to grape juice but the grape juice tasted funny.

"Heine," she whispered wrapping her arm around his waist.

"Yeah?" Heine asked leaning his head on hers.

"The grape juice tastes funny," she whispered back. He took the wine glass from her sampling the drink in her glass.

"It's wine. How do you feel?" Heine asked.

"I feel…fine," Ayame whispered hugging him tightly.

"Keep up appearances. If you feel funny tell me immediately," Heine whispered back as Bachiko walked to the microphone.

"I never met Heine in person but through all of Ayame's letters I got to know him. Heine you are Ayame's ideal man. She always wrote how much she loved him. I always wanted you to know that Heine. Ayame has been my best friend since we lived on the moon. Since her family was always moving she wrote letters to me often. In the beginning of all relationships the couple are ugly ducklings who grow into beautiful swans. You two have a beautiful relationship and I know you two will be together forever," Bachiko cheered. Once again they toasted even though Heine was worried about his wife.

"Are you alright?" Heine asked as Jasmine prepared to go up to the MIC.

"Yeah. I feel fine," Ayame chuckled. _Oh great…she's getting giggly…_Heine thought with a sigh.

"I met Ayame and Heine months ago so I don't think I'll be the most creditable. She's a great dancer and I think the key behind her success was that she had a strong man behind her. Whenever Heine was there she danced her heart out and was so out of breath that she was close to passing out. Love is the key to success…and you two will have the perfect life together. The love you share is gorgeous and I'm happy that I met some of the nicest people ever," Jasmine commented. Once again they toasted.

"How do you feel?" Heine asked quietly.

"Fine," Ayame answered with no giggle. She was really fine which was amazing.

---

"That's where I learned she could tolerate wine but not champagne, beer, and DEFIANTLY not vodka…I can't drink vodka either. It gives me a headache," Heine explained still staring at his beer.

"Are you sure you're alright sir?" Athrun asked noticing he hasn't touched his drink.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Heine began, "Even after two glasses Ayame would be fine."

"That's pretty good. I'm glad that she get at least drink a little bit," Athrun answered.

"So the reception went on and we left on time and arrived at our honeymoon spot in November 3. It was a nice little spot. It was very pretty…Ayame picked it out," Heine began before laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Athrun asked.

"Oh…I'll tell you in a minute," Heine answered as his laughing died down.

---

"Um…how…how do I look?" Ayame asked coming out of the bathroom.

"Sexy," Heine answered as she blushed softly. She picked at the lacy top of her baby doll as Heine approached her.

"S-So…you like it?" Ayame asked as he kissed her forehead softly.

"Yes, turn around. I want to see what you look like," Heine chuckled. Bashfully Ayame turned around in a circle.

"Please be gentle," Ayame whispered as Heine wrapped his around her waist.

"I will," Heine answered kissing her lips gently. Uncomfortable she made a small sound moving away from Heine.

"Where are you going Ayame?" Heine asked with a small chuckle.

"I'm moving away from the window," she answered grabbing Heine's shirt.

"So do you have anything sexy to say to me?" Heine asked allowing her to pull him onto the bed.

"I don't know anything. You're sexy?" Ayame said innocently.

"You're so innocent," Heine chuckled kissing her neck softly. She groaned softly as she pulled Heine close to him.

"Take it off. Please take off your shirt," Ayame cried as their passion intensified. He obeyed her commands before kissing her belly softly. She covered her mouth trying to control her cries of pleasure.

"Don't cover your mouth. Let out everything," Heine chuckled as he kissed her lips softly before pulling at her baby doll.

"Do you want me to help?" she asked quietly as he slowly worked it off her body. The phone began to ring as Heine kissed her lips and neck again. She reached for it only to have Heine to pin her hand above her head.

"Ignore it," Heine muttered wrapping her arms around his waist. The phone continued to ring annoying Heine. He picked up the receiver causing Ayame to giggle at his previous statement.

"Hello…Who is this?…M-Mr. Chairman! What an honor!…No I'm not at home…I'm on my honeymoon…Oh no, it's alright…It's an honor to receive a call from you…Who's my wife? Ayame Honda…Oh yes, I'll tell her…When am I coming back?…Two weeks from tomorrow…Thank you for calling, sir. We will report to you when we come back…yes, good bye sir," Heine said into the phone.

"So that was the chairman?" Ayame asked.

"Yeah, he wants to see us when we get back. He also says congratulations. Now where were we?" Heine chuckled seductively. She made a slight noise of discomfort pushing him away.

"What's wrong?" Heine asked looking into her face.

"I've lost it," Ayame sighed as he kissed her cheek.

"Lost what?" Heine asked curiously.

"The spark," Ayame answered.

"What spark?……oohhhhh…That spark…I'll help you back into your baby doll," Heine sighed.

"I'm sorry Heine. Maybe a little later, okay?" Ayame answered trying to cheer him up. He helped her back into her clothing before getting under the blankets.

"Good night," he muttered.

"Heine?" Ayame asked sitting above him, "I can try to get it back if you want me to."

"No it's alright. At least I'll be able to sleep with my sexy wife," Heine chuckled pulling her into the bed. She squirmed quietly as Heine laughed.

"Tomorrow. I promise!" Ayame muttered as the two of them began to fall asleep.

---

"That's the reason why I was laughing. I told her not to answer the phone even though I did. Then I lost the right to my manhood. Your face is so red…Relax I wouldn't go THAT far," Heine laughed.

"I'm just curious did you guys……during your honeymoon?" Athrun asked not wanting to add in that special word.

"Oh yes," Heine answered.

"What was it like?" Athrun asked becoming more and more curious.

"Everything and more…And I'll leave it at that," Heine chuckled turning a little pink.


	22. Chapter 22

Never Look Back Chapter 22

---

"Heine? Did we?" Ayame asked yawning slightly.

"No," Heine muttered.

"I'm sorry. I just freak out when the chairman called. I thought he was calling you or me away. But don't worry I have more lingerie…So you won't have to look at this one all the time," Ayame giggled.

"Wait…you have more what?" Heine asked blushing softly.

"Lingerie," Ayame answered innocently. She sat up in the bed stretching her arms.

"Are we really married?" Heine asked sitting up with her smelling her hair.

"Yes!" Ayame cried, "BUT we've been married for a couple of months now."

"Heine likes the way Ayame smells," Heine smiled inhaling her scent loudly.

"Heine," Ayame chuckled, "What do I smell like?"

"Ayame," Heine answered kissing the back of her neck.

"Really Heine what do I smell like?" Ayame asked as he got out of bed.

"You smell like…the sweet scent of strawberries and roses," Heine answered.

"Do you want to shower together?" Ayame asked curiously twirling her hair.

"Excuse me?" Heine asked turning red.

"Would you like to shower together?" Ayame asked, "Nothing dirty…Just showering."

"N-Not this time," Heine answered.

"Alright. I'm going to shower," Ayame answered getting out of bed.

---

"Oddly…After our honeymoon we bathed together a lot. She said that it was our bonding time. I still don't see how," Heine explained. "As she said before nothing dirty…just showering."

---

"So what do you want to do today?" Heine asked as they left their hotel room.

"I want to spend time with you," Ayame said with a happy sigh.

"Aren't you cute…really what do you want to do today?" Heine asked as they entered the elevator.

"I want to have a good day with you. Let's go for a walk in the park," Ayame suggested as they reached the ground floor. Much to their chagrin the newly-wed couple say Michael Südlich in the lobby.

"What the hell is he doing here," Heine muttered angrily.

"Heine…no," Ayame answered above a whisper. They left the hotel elevator in which Michael noticed Ayame and only Ayame.

"Ayame!" He cried out drawing attention to them. He ran to her trying to hug her.

"Michael Südlich…I do not love you. You have caused many problems and we were never dating. You know that I was engaged to Heine who is now my husband. So there is no scene go home with out a fuss," Ayame answered calmly.

"But Ms. Ayame Honda," Michael whined as she left with her new husband.

"Not Honda…Mrs. Heine Westenfluss," Ayame answered looking back at him. Once they were outside Heine smiled warmly at his wife.

"You handled that well," Heine chuckled wrapping his arm around her.

"I'm your wife…I have to defend my title," Ayame giggled leaning her head on his shoulder.

---

"That's all I'm going to tell you about my honeymoon. I think it should be personal," Heine answered twirling the contents in his glass.

"Alright. Sir…Are you alright? Your not drinking your drink even though you've had it for over thirty minutes," Athrun asked.

"I'll be alright," Heine answered.

"Are you sure?" Athrun asked.

"The next part is a little painful…but I'll add a little comical relief right now. Always remember this acronym: PEBC which stands for periods, emotions and birth control…I learned that women do not like to be bothered when they're on their periods. Just to say…when you have kids…your sex life drops to 0 times per month. But I'll get to that when I talk about after Hana's birth. Ayame didn't like the acronym I made so she made her own: TPC which stood for testosterone, pride and condoms. She said Pride was the main factor because men HATE it when their pride is hurt when women say no," Heine laughed. Athrun chuckled as well awaiting the bad news Heine was going to deliver.

---

"You two have some of the greatest military exploits in the Z.A.F.T. military. Excuse me for not referring to you by your last name but you two married each other. By the way congratulations on your marriage. Ayame you have been known as the "Carrier Killer" for your exploits of destroying over 9 battleships, carriers, and other large vessels. Heine you have destroyed too many mobile suits to count," Gil analyzed.

"You are too kind sir," Ayame answered for Heine and Ayame.

"Sir, If you do not mind. What will we be doing?" Heine asked looking over at Ayame briefly.

"We're developing some new model grunt machines. I want the best to test it. Ayame I want you to test the new long range model and Heine since you are better with short range weaponry, you can test the short range machines," the chairman informed.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" Ayame asked quietly.

"Why of course Ayame," Gil answered as she relaxed slightly.

"Why do we need new weapons of war? Aren't we at peace sir?" Ayame asked politely.

"Yes we are at peace," Gil began standing up from behind his desk. He walked away from it causing Ayame and Heine to stiffen. "But if we ever go back to war…we'll need machine. I hate to prepare for something like that but if the Earth Forces or Orb decided to attack us with new machines then we would be TOO far behind to defend ourselves Ayame."

"Right sir. Sorry for the sILly question," Ayame answered as Heine nudged her softly.

"Oh it's not a silly question and Heine there was no reason to nudge her. She didn't do anything wrong," Gil suggested.

"So we will be test pilots?" Ayame asked.

"Yes and relax you two. You two are so uptight. You remember Heine being a test pilot right Ayame?" Gil asked.

"Yes sir," Ayame answered looking to Heine to see if he relaxed. He was still stiff as a board.

"Come on. Relax. You two might pass out if you don't loosen your knees," Gil suggested. Ayame relaxed her shoulders with a slight sigh before crossing her arms and cocking her hip. Heine relaxed slightly not becoming too causal.

"Sir, are we expecting another war?" Heine asked curiously.

"No. How was your honeymoon?" the chairman asked.

"It was great," Heine answered. Ayame blushed at Heine's statement because everyone knows what "happens" on honeymoons.

"Well I congratulate you two on your marriage again. You two are dismissed," the chairman ordered. The two soldiers saluted their superior before leaving him. After they got outside Heine and Ayame let out sighs of relief.

---

"So we began our job as test pilots. We even tested new types of jet packs. Ayame didn't test the jet pack. I did and it crashed on me fracturing the lower part of my left leg. That's when I learned Ayame was a great driver. I was well enough to pilot my test machine…that's when "IT" happened. I was supposed to go but…since Ayame was well they placed Ayame out there. Ayame was put under the "stress" of battle while testing the machine. There was simulated gun fire and all the other stresses of battle," Heine explained his hand shaking gently.

---

"Something's wrong," Ayame muttered over the com. System. She held her stomach tightly feeling extreme amounts of pain.

"Her heart rate is sky rocketing," one of the doctors stated looking at the monitors.

"Heine," a technician ordered over the com. System.

"Yeah?" Heine asked waiting inside an old GINN. If anything was to go wrong Heine was to go out to protect Ayame or retrieve her.

"Go retrieve Ayame. Something is wrong with her," the technician responded. His heart sank when he heard those words as he launched out of the base. The machine she was piloting was still and lifeless like the cold hunk of metal it was.

"Ayame what's wrong?" Heine asked taking hold of the machine.

"I'm bleeding," Ayame said above a whisper even though the system wasn't on. She had opened her flight suit and had found blood bellow her waist. Seeing the blood on her fingers frightened her. It wasn't menstrual bleeding. This was something else.

"Ayame answer me!" Heine barked but received no response again. She felt herself begin to slip out of consciousness as she heard several cries from Heine.

"AYAME!" Heine cried as he pulled the machine back into the base. Setting it on the ground Heine exited his machine quickly running to Ayame's. There was an emergency medical crew there as well. He forced the hatch open seeing what he had feared…an unconscious Ayame. Her limp body was leaning forward.

"Ayame!" Heine began, "MEDIC!" Heine helped her out of her restraints as the medics helped pull her out.

"Be careful with her," Heine said weakly.

---

"Miscarried?! Ayame wasn't pregnant," Heine retaliated. They hadn't had sex in months AND they were very careful.

"Yes Ayame was pregnant. When was the last time you two had intercourse?" the doctor interrogated.

"How could she be AND I'm not going to talk about my sex life with a doctor!" Heine answered.

"Heine I need some answers. I would be able to figure out how old the child was," the doctor answered.

"I'm not going to answer ANY questions until I speak with Ayame," Heine muttered.

"Heine I know this is difficult and this will be more difficult with Ayame," the doctor explained.

"Ayame is my wife and as a married couple we make these decisions together. I'm not going to tell you anything until I talk to Ayame," Heine answered.

"Alright, she's recovering. I'm not very sure what mental state she'll be in," the doctor sighed opening the door. Heine quickly entered seeing Ayame laying in bed limply. He walked to her taking her cold shaking hand into his the other hand brushed her forehead. With a small groan she opened her eyes looking up at her husband with tears in her eyes.

"Shhhhhh," Heine muttered kissing her forehead softly.

"Heine I'm so sorry," she cried as he rubbed her hand gently.

"No no no. We'll get through this," Heine suggested wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug.

"I'm sh-should have known," Ayame cried as Heine tried to comfort her.

"Ayame this isn't your fault. We'll get through this. I promise," Heine shushed sitting on the bed with her.

---

"Wait…you have a daughter, right?" Athrun asked getting a little confused.

"Oh yes. Hana's body is very much living. We believe the first child was a boy…his name is Matthias. Although his body is deceased his soul is very much alive." Heine argued. (A/N: German Pronunciation of the name Matthias: Mat-tee-us. That's the easiest way to explain it).

"I see. I'm sorry for your lost Heine," Athrun answered.

"What can you say to a woman who miscarried. You can't say there's always next time or we can try again. It is my fault in the beginning. I wasn't careful enough," Heine expressed sadly. In shame Heine's head hung low as he stared into his alcoholic beverage.


	23. Chapter 23

Never Look Back Chapter 23

---

I didn't make this clear in the other chapter but she miscarried four months AFTER their marriage

---

"I was an idiot for what I did to Ayame that day. I sent her to her brother's. I said that at the moment I couldn't take care of her because I had to do my job…as a soldier. I put my job before my wife's sadness and pain. I had also forgotten that they, her brother's family, had children. I'm very much ashamed of myself. I was an idiot…I can never and will never forgive myself for what I did to her," Heine sighed going through his hair slowly.

"Sir…" Athrun muttered placing a hand on his shoulder.

"After about seven days…SEVEN days I waited…I decided that Ayame was better off at home than at her brothers. I couldn't get her that day so her brother took her to our home. I got someone to take over the later part of my shift and I was able to get home soon after Ayame. You know what I did before I got home…I cried…I cried long and I cried hard…Before I was at the home I stopped and my face was clear so she didn't expect anything," Heine explained.

---

"Here's a letter explaining things you must and could do. She doesn't like to go to the bathroom so you need to force her to go," Mamoru whispered looking at his sister sitting on the couch sadly.

"What do you mean?" Heine whispered back.

"She says that she's going to pass out because she's losing all that water. Sometimes she does pass out so you'll need to watch her. Also as another side note she's quite feisty," Mamoru whispered before walking to his sister.

"I'm going home alright Ayame. Heine's going to take good care of you," Mamoru whispered kissing her cheek softly.

"Fine," Ayame muttered as her brother left her home. There was a great deal of silence that engulfed the room suffocating Heine by her lack of interest in speaking.

"Are you hungry Turtle Dove?" Heine asked sitting on the couch next to her. She didn't answer as Heine wrapped his arms around her for comfort.

"Don't touch me! I don't need your pity!" she snapped trying to push Heine away from her.

"Honey I'm not pitying you. Are you hungry?" Heine asked as she continued to squirm.

"I don't need your comfort!" Ayame cried slapping his face harshly. She stood up quickly running to their room.

"Mamoru wasn't kidding," Heine muttered chasing after her.

"Don't follow me!" she screamed. Heine grabbed hold of his wife trying to calm her.

"Please honey…PLEASE relax," Heine shushed.

"You don't know how I feel! You don't know how I feel about losing him!" Ayame screamed.

"YES I do…Ayame…I'm sorry," Heine answered as tears fell from his eyes. He released Ayame as she calmed down.

"Heine? Are you…crying?" Ayame asked returning to her normal self.

"What? A man can't cry?!" Heine answered.

"Heine…I…" Ayame muttered.

"I know I don't know the maternal suffering…but, I've done a lot of thinking…this was all my fault Ayame! I was the one who got you pregnant. I told you that I'd be careful…Well I wasn't careful enough! I told you that you didn't need birth control and I got you pregnant. AND I was the one who sent you out to test that machine. It was going to be me! But I thought you could handle it…I'm sorry," Heine cried throwing his arms around her.

"Heine," Ayame muttered softly.

"I know you don't want comfort but PLEASE comfort me!" Heine cried. Ayame was shocked to see her strong husband cry.

"Heine don't cry," Ayame muttered as tears began to form into her eyes. She held Heine close to her as they cried together.

"His body may be dead but his spirit will always live on…Matthias…" Heine whispered into her ear.

---

"We began the healing process together. I still don't forgive myself for what I did to Ayame. She has always been quite good to me…Except when she slaps me. I've never hit her before so I was shocked when she slapped me. I always laughed it off but that time was different," Heine answered.

"I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that," Athrun answered.

"It's okay…I don't want to talk about more depressing times so I'll talk about Ayame's second pregnancy and how she kept me up at night. When you decide to have kids…you'll have many sleepless nights," Heine chuckled trying to cheer up.

---

"Heine…I have a little New Year's Resolution for you," Ayame whispered seductively in his ear. She covered his eyes causing him to become slightly frustrated.

"Yeah…What is it?" Heine asked.

"Have as much fun as possible," Ayame purred kissing his neck softly.

"What type of lingerie are you wearing?" Heine asked feeling himself becoming more and more horny. She slapped his head before crossing the couch to sit on his lap.

---

"No…I'm not going," Heine muttered.

"Heine we've only seen your parents a couple times since our wedding. REMEMBER they paid for this house in full!" Ayame retaliated.

"I agree with you Ayame…BUT I'm not going," Heine answered.

"It's your mother's birthday! My present has to be delivered personally!" Ayame answered slamming her hands down on the table.

"Why can't we just mail it like normal?" Heine complained.

"It can't be mailed," Ayame sighed.

"What is your present anyways?" Heine asked suspiciously.

"It's a present to everyone…NOT just your mother," Ayame sighed.

"You know you haven't touched me in awhile," Heine whispered seductively in her ear wrapping his arms around her.

"NO Heine…I'm not in the mood," Ayame snapped.

"For the last month in the half you haven't been in the mood," Heine sighed.

"I'm just not in the mood Heine," Ayame began, "I already packed your stuff and the gift WE got her. We're going Heine and that's final! Quit acting like a 5 year old too!"

"I thought you never wanted to go back?" Heine asked.

'We should visit every once in awhile!" Ayame answered. She took out two shuttle tickets taking hold of their luggage.

Heine sighed playfully, "Well I can't sit here and let you struggle with the bags." He took them from her going out to their car.

"That's more like it," she chuckled playfully getting into the car.

---

"HEINE!…Ayame…It's wonderful for you to drop in my little sweet son! It's so surprising as well!" Heine's mother said cheerfully except for Ayame's name.

"Well Ayame talked me into it," Heine sighed.

"How long are YOU staying?" Heine's mother asked ushering her son in and closing the door on Ayame. _Nothing has changed _Ayame thought with a sigh opening the door for herself.

"MOTHER! Why won't you respect Ayame?!" Heine asked defensively.

"You know plain people…Well say hello to your father!" she muttered as his step-father came down the stairs.

"Hello STEP-father," Heine answered.

"Hello mother-in-law, step-father-in-law," Ayame answered with a polite bow. She held her secret gift in her hands tightly.

"Yeah hi…Everyone into the living room. We were having a birthday party for the SPECIAL birthday girl," his mother chimed she grabbed her daughter-in-law by the arm pulling her into the room. Heine followed as his wife was thrust into a chair. He stood behind her watching the women and young women chattering with each other.

"Listen up ladies…This is my son and his wife Ayame. I'm glad that HE dropped by so unannounced," his mother boomed. The women clapped for them causing Ayame to blush.

"Heine the men are in the other room, go in there with them," a woman shooed.

"I want to remain with my wife," Heine answered squeezing her shoulder tightly.

"Well we were just going to open gifts…Heine be a dear and go get the men," his mother shooed. Heine sighed wanting to be good for Ayame and he obeyed his mother.

"So…How long have you two been married?" the same woman asked who originally tried to get Heine to go away.

"It'll be our one year anniversary in two and a half months!" Ayame said cheerfully.

"So how did you seduce him?" the woman asked.

"Cindy," Heine's mother giggled evilly.

"I didn't…We never had sex until after we were married," Ayame answered innocently. The men piled in and Heine resumed his place defensively behind Ayame. The woman received various expensive items many to which Heine rolled his eyes to. Ayame giggled softly standing up and forcing Heine to sit in the chair as she sat on its arm. Heine wrapped an arm around her giving her a soft kiss on the hand.

"Ayame and Heine! Do you have anything?" his mother asked greedily.

"Yes, we do. You'll open this one first and then Ayame's special gift second," Heine answered holding out a box to her. She opened it quickly pulling out a scrapbook.

"Oh a scrapbook of your wedding! That's wonderful! I love it Ayame, Heine," she said happily.

"I have a gift to all of you," Ayame said softly standing up and giving the gift to her mother-in-law.

"Yeah…okay," His mother muttered.

"What is it honey?" Heine whispered as his mother tore at the wrapping paper.

"You'll see," Ayame whispered back.

"What is this?" she asked staring at the black grainy picture framed in a picture frame before gasping, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Ayame nodded slowly with a small smile.

"You're pregnant?" Heine asked pulling her into his lap.

His wife giggled, "Yes!"

"I'm going to be a grandmother! Come here Ayame so I can hug you!" his mother cried racing over to her daughter-in-law.

---

"That was the first time my mother hugged her willingly. And boy did I feel stupid. Every night I'd try to seduce Ayame and she'd tell me no. I never suspected anything…it shows how stupid men can be," Heine chuckled.

"You're not an idiot," Athrun countered.

---

"You're pregnant," Heine muttered still dumbfound by the information told four hours ago.

"Yes…I am…You're going to be a father to our second child," Ayame chuckled. Heine poked her stomach before looking up at her.

"I want a girl," Heine answered.

"Don't men normally want boys?" Ayame asked shocked at his answer.

"…I'm not a normal man! I want a little girl to pamper before being the stern father to a man," Heine answered.

"I love you…thank you Heine for giving me this wonderful gift," Ayame cooed.

"Let's go to bed. I want to hold you and the baby," Heine suggested. They got into his old bed and soon after Heine placed a hand on her lower stomach. He rubbed it gently as they fell asleep in each others arm.

---

"I don't know why but that's when I learned that I couldn't sleep without touching Ayame. She HATED it…Especially when she was 7 plus months pregnant. She was so frustrated and tired since Hana would move around and then I would hold her down ," Heine laughed.


	24. Chapter 24

Never Look Back Chapter 24

---

"Turtle Dove oh Turtle Dove? What happened to all the chips?" Heine asked searching the cabinets and the pantry.

In shame Ayame placed a hand on her belly looking down at her shoes, "I'm sorry," she uttered.

"It's okay. We can always get more," Heine answered continuing his search. For food. She looked at him curiously as he paused before breaking out in laughter.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"You ate the crackers too?" Heine asked leaning against the counter. She sighed and nodded softly. Ayame had never been THIS hungry in her entire life, especially at night.

"I was just so hungry last night. I just ate the first couple of things I saw. I'll try not to do it again," Ayame explained with a regretful sigh. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other with shame. Heine stopped laughing walking over to his Ayame giving her a tight and loving hug.

"Hey it's alright! So what do you want to do today? Oh…we have to go in and tell the commander that you're pregnant," Heine answered._ This will ruin our day today…_Heine thought.

"I already told Commander Hawkins. The chairman will be here today to look at our results…Hawkins said I had to tell him personally since he assigned us to this assignment," Ayame answered.

"Alright. Hey do you think it'll be a girl?" Heine asked rubbing her belly.

"Heine what has gotten into you? Why are you so bent on having a girl?" Ayame asked curiously. Heine chuckled softly spinning Ayame around so her back was to him.

"I already told you the reason why…I want to be a mushy father before being a stern one," Heine cooed.

"Heine…Why do you smell like ladies' perfume?" Ayame asked fearful that he was cheating on her.

Heine grumbled softly, "You put your bath works stuff in my shampoo…again."

"Oh…Oh yeah!" she giggled playfully wrapping her arms around Heine's neck.

"Now you laugh," Heine began, "Anyways get dressed we have see the chairman."

"Are you going to shower with me?" Ayame asked stuffing her hands into his pants.

"No no no…You're what? 7 weeks pregnant?…HEY HEY! Stop that!" Heine muttered feeling chills run up his spine.

"So are you going to shower with me or not?" Ayame asked pulling her hands out of his pants.

"Sure…I promised yesterday didn't I?" Heine began, "No funny business. You're pregnant…When we go to the doctor's next week we'll ask if we can have sex. But for now it's a no!"

"Please…With sugar on top. As you said you haven't been touched in weeks," Ayame giggled leading her husband up stairs.

"Well at that time I didn't know you were pregnant," Heine answered.

---

"Heine, Ayame Westenfluss…I'm surprised to see you both. Shouldn't you two be in your flight suits ready to prove your research?" the chairman asked in shock.

"I'm gearing up sir but Ayame is not," Heine answered looking over at her. She gave a small nod moving forward a tiny bit.

"Why not Ayame? On this log it shows that you haven't done any flight work in the last 7 weeks," the chairman stated looking over the information.

"I am unable to pilot the test mobile suits because I'm pregnant," Ayame said after a small gulp.

"That's wonderful that you're bringing new life into this world. I think motherhood will suit you well Ayame," the chairman answered cheerfully.

"You are too kind," Ayame blushed.

"Heine you are dismissed. Ayame you have a new special mission," the chairman answered with a wave of the hand. Heine saluted doing an about face before leaving.

"I hope that you'll be able to train her before your belly gets too large," the chairman ordered.

"Excuse me sir?" Ayame asked becoming more and more confused.

"You're going to train Ms. Lacus Clyne, Ms. Lacus come out here for a moment," the chairman ordered again. His fingers were laced as a pink haired woman came out.

"That's not Ms. Lacus," Ayame muttered astonished at the look-a-likes appearance.

"No…My real name is Meer Campbell. I'm doing this for the good of the PLANTs," the look-a-like answered.

"When the people find out…then?!" Ayame retaliated before the chairman put his hand in front of her to stop her.

"Ayame I know long term this might not be for the best but short term the people need someone to voice peace and tranquility. I know it's a time of peace but we need to keep that peace and Ms. Campbell will help keep it. I need you to train Ms. Campbell in pop dance and for you to create short routines for her to perform on stage. Are you okay with that?" the chairman asked sternly.

"Yes…Yes sir," Ayame answered with a salute.

"That will be all. Good luck on your pregnancy," the chairman called out as she left.

---

(NOTE! HEINE DOES NOT KNOW ANY OF THIS! THIS IS JUST TO LET THE READER KNOW WHAT AYAME IS DOING!)

---

"What was that all about?" Heine asked curiously escorting his dazed wife through the halls.

"Oh…nothing," Ayame answered still in a daze.

"I have to do the little "stunt show" for the chairman. I'm going to take you to the lounge and you lie down until I get back okay?" Heine whispered into her ear helping her into the lounge. There were other soldier in there busy chattering away. "Hey Kiki could you watch her for the next 30 minutes to an hour?" Heine asked.

"Okay," Kiki muttered.

---

"That's when we had another scare. We thought she miscarried again. But it was just spotting…whatever that is…I still have no idea. It was something about bleeding," Heine answered finally taking a drink out of his beverage. It tasted watery because of the ice that had melted.

_Flashback_

_--- _

"_Heine, leave Hana with us. You can't take care of a baby…You'll just drink yourself to death," his mother said with the utmost concern._

"_For the last time mother I haven't been drinking! I want to be with Hana! She's my child! I created her! She's already lost her mother what more must she lose?!" Heine snapped. The little girl was asleep in her crib upstairs._

"_It'll be better. She'll grow up with the proper lifestyle Heine," mother Westenfluss suggested._

"_Proper?! PROPER?! She's living fine the way she is. I helped create her! Ayame gave birth to her! I'm going to teach her the languages her mother learned! Now get out of my house!" Heine said above a whisper. Darting upstairs he entered the nursery. Hana was still asleep. She always slept well like her mother._

_--- _

_End Flashback_

Heine shook the thoughts away quickly becoming visibly disturbed. He stared into the liquid seeing the scene play out in his beer.

"Sir are you alright?" Athrun asked placing a hand on Heine's shoulder.

"Yeah…Sorry, where was I?" Heine answered.

---

"Heine you're like a kid in the candy store," Ayame whispered to her husband.

"I'm just excited. We might know the sex of our baby today!" Heine whispered back.

"Heine," Ayame sighed lovingly. They called her name and Ayame and Heine followed the nurse inside.

"Hello Mrs. Westenfluss, how are you feeling today?" the nurse asked curiously as Ayame sat down in a chair so the nurse could take her temperature and blood pressure.

"I'm feeling fine. This is my husband Heine Westenfluss," Ayame answered as her temperature was taken.

"So this is your hubby. How did it go when she told you Mr. Westenfluss?" the nurse chuckled wrapping a cuff around her arm.

"It was a total surprise. I was so dumbfound that I kept repeating, 'you're pregnant'," Heine chuckled as the nurse led them into another room. Heine looked around the room quietly seeing various objects and multiple scientific pictures of the womb. The doctor entered the room, a young women of about 35 years in age with a cheerful smile.

"Hello Mrs. Westenfluss! Oh…And this must be your hubby Mr. Westenfluss!" the doctor cheered.

"Yes…his name is Heine," Ayame chuckled as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"hello, Doctor…" Heine began not knowing her name. He looked down at Ayame hoping she'd fill in her name.

"Yamira," the doctor answered.

"Hello Doctor Yamira," Heine replied.

"So this is her 8th week and your outward appearance is good. You do need to put on a little more weight. I'll print out a little eating guide for you so you can gain weight easier. So are you excited to see your baby?" the doctor analyzed looking over a chart with Ayame's data.

"Yes," Heine muttered trying to bottle his excitement. He watched the doctor place a jelly like substance on Ayame's lower belly before turning on the machine next to them. They heard a quick beating sound as the doctor focused the screen.

"That's the baby's heartbeat," the doctor chimed before finding a picture of the baby.

"So that's her?" Heine asked staring into the machine's monitor.

"Yes. We don't know the sex yet…I don't think the baby is positioned right to see it today. The baby looks fine and it's developing normally," the doctor analyzed.

"I bet she's going to look like her mom," Heine teased.

"Heine…What if it's a boy?" Ayame teased in return.

"It's a girl. I can feel it," Heine answered.

---

"Welcome back! So you're now 12 weeks in…And I'm sorry that you don't know the sex of your baby," the doctor apologized proceeding with the jelly and the machine's probe like thing. Like before she turned on the machine and you could hear the baby's heartbeat.

"So this is good…The baby is doing great. There's the head and the feet. Many parents love it when I point out the hands so there are the hands. He or she's in the perfect position to figure out what sex he or she is. Do you still want to know?" Doctor Yamira asked curiously.

"Yes! Please tell us!" Heine said quickly answering for the two of them.

"It seems like someone is REALLY excited. You'll make an excellent father. Some fathers don't really like coming to their wives' doctor visits. Let's see," Doctor Yamira rambled, "Congratulations…You'll be having a girl!"

"YES! A girl! We're going to have a baby girl!" Heine cheered hugging Ayame tightly.

"Congratulations!" Doctor Yamira cheered just as loud. Ayame giggled softly poking her belly softly.

---

"We're having a girl!" Heine cried into the phone.

"Really. That's great Heine," Kane answered covering his ear from the painful cry from Heine.

"She's going to be Daddy's little girl," Heine cooed annoying his friend.

"Well congratulations," Kane sighed.

"Is something wrong?" Heine asked.

"How did you get so lucky? You have a wife and a baby on the way. You have a good life and me…I've had so many girl friends and none of them want anything to do with me," Kane sighed.

"Maybe you're approaching it all wrong. Be more sweet and gentle. Sometimes you don't have to be so stern all the time. You flirt too much as well…stick with one girl at a time and don't look at any other woman when you're out on a date OR any other time," Heine suggested, "Anyways I got to go. Ayame won't go to bed without me."

"Alright. See ya soon," Kane answered before hanging up.

"Turtle Dove and little mouse," Heine called going upstairs and into their bedroom. She was reading a book like normal as Heine crawled into bed with her.

"Hello. So you're calling her little mouse?" Ayame asked taking off her glasses and leaving her book on the nightstand.

"Yep. I think she's going to be quiet and sweet," Heine answered giving his wife a kiss as she turned out the light. Like normal Ayame fell asleep quickly in Heine arms.

---

"Honey? Is something wrong?" Heine asked sitting up with her.

"I'm hungry," Ayame whispered blushing softly.

"Are you craving something downstairs?" He asked tiredly.

"No…Strawberry banana flavored apple sauce, a sweet bell pepper and an orange," Ayame replied.

"I'll be back in a little while," Heine yawned getting out of bed.

---

"Amazingly in the first three months all her cravings were stuff we had at home. That's when I began to go out almost three times a week. A couple times it was seven times a week," Heine chuckled.

"That's one thing I'm worried about. I get tired really easily. I think I'm a lot like your wife in that case. I fall asleep easily too," Athrun chuckled as well. The two men laughed loudly causing some of the other patrons to look at them.

"Don't be worried…Everything is a new experience," Heine answered.


	25. Chapter 25

Never Look Back Chapter 25

---

"Ayame what are you doing for the government?" Heine demanded across a dinner table. She dropped her fork surprised at his question.

"It's…It's nothing really," Ayame muttered nervously placing her hands on her knees.

"Why can't you tell me?" Heine asked placing his fork down on a napkin lightly. He crossed his arms leaning back in his chair staring into his wife's face.

"I just can't…" Ayame muttered.

"Why?" Heine demanded.

"It's confidential! I just can't Heine!" Ayame cried out becoming stressed. Heine had been pestering her for weeks on end about what she was doing.

"Shhh, hey don't do that! Don't stress. We agreed to you having a non-stressful pregnancy. If it is confidential then it's confidential, alright?" Heine soothed going to his wife's side. He rubbed her belly softly as the look of horror on her face began to disappear slowly.

"Heine…I hope to tell you soon…I just don't want them to take you away from me," Ayame whispered as he hugged her tightly.

---

"I still don't know what she was doing," Heine sighed staring at the clean glasses hanging behind the bar.

"What ever it was it seems like she was ashamed of it…or frightened," Athrun stated.

---

"What is it today?" Heine asked tiredly his arms were wrapped around her lower waist. He sat up with her with a small yawn.

"Oh I can go out and get it," Ayame whispered believing that she would wake her unborn baby.

"No no no, you're pregnant and I'll get it for you," Heine answered swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He stretched tiredly before getting out of bed.

"Heine…why don't I go with you," Ayame answered not wanting to give up.

"No you stay. So, what is it today?" Heine asked getting dressed quickly.

"Chocolate…and, apples," Ayame sighed as Heine laid her down in bed. He kissed her cheek whispering that he loved her before heading out.

---

"Your wife is pregnant," the cashier chuckled staring at the tired orange haired man in front of his.

"Huh? Oh yes," Heine muttered.

"You must be really devoted to her. Most husbands are ticked off by now," the cashier smiled. He was a tall man in his mid to late 40s. There was a distinct moustache pasted on his face along with a sincere smile.

"How did you know that I was pregnant?…I mean that my wife is pregnant?" Heine asked tiredly taking out the money to pay for the chocolate and apples.

"Everything that you've bought recently has been random and you're coming here late at night," the cashier chuckled.

"We're having a girl. Thanks…I might see you the same time tomorrow," Heine yawned taking his bag of food and leaving.

---

"I saw that man a lot when Ayame was pregnant. His name was Robert. I was always tired when she was pregnant and Ayame was very concerned about my health. She began to terrify me…Do you want to know how?" Heine asked looking over at Athrun.

"Terrify? How?" Athrun asked.

"Yes…she began to sneak out of bed when I was asleep and buy what ever she was craving. It scared me to death knowing that there were many people that could harm her and the baby. I can remember the first time she did it," Heine replied.

---

"Ayame?" Heine called out waking up to a half empty bed. _Maybe she went to the bathroom _Heine thought waiting about ten minutes before getting worried. He sighed getting out of bed believing she had fallen asleep at the bathroom vanity which she did occasionally. She wasn't there which caused him to chuckle hesitantly. He proceed down the stairs to see the lights were off in the family room and in the kitchen.

"Maybe she fell asleep in the kitchen," Heine began with hesitant chuckle, "Yeah…she fell asleep in the kitchen." He entered the room turning on the light to see it was cold and lifeless. With fear entering his heart he began to search every single room for his wife to find every single room cold and lifeless.

"Ayame! If this is a joke this isn't funny!" Heine called out but there was no response. He began to pace around downstairs for over 20 minutes before hearing the garage door open. 2 minutes after that Ayame walked in.

"AYAME!" Heine cried taking his wife into his arms tightly.

"Heine? What are you doing awake?" Ayame asked as he kissed her cheeks and face as if he hasn't seen her for years.

"What do you mean me?! What were you doing out of the house?!" Heine demanded as he let out a sigh of relief.

"You looked so tired and peaceful when you were sleeping so I decided that I wouldn't wake you. Heine you need your sleep just as much as I do. I just had some cravings for Nutella and French bread," Ayame answered as Heine continued to hug her tightly.

"Ayame please…next time let me go out and get it. Please don't ever do that again. You could have gone into labor or some murderer could have come and got you," Heine whispered into her ear.

---

"She didn't do it very often. Only on the days where I was so tired I couldn't function. Sometimes she'd just wake me up put me in the passenger side seat and then go to the supermarket," Heine sighed.

---

Ayame sang softly to herself as she brushed the hairs on Heine's head. She was now at least 5 months pregnant and Heine began to become worn down by his almost nightly excursions. She kissed the top of his head softly as he woke up quickly.

"What time is it?" he asked as Ayame wrapped her arms around him.

"About 9:45am," Ayame answered licking her lips in thought. Quickly Heine darted out of bed and into the bathroom.

"I'm late! Why didn't you wake up earlier?" Heine asked as he turned on the shower.

"Heine…I called in and said that you were to fatigued to work. They gave you the day off," Ayame answered following after him.

"No I'm not," Heine replied as Ayame took his hands in hers. She looked at him in the eyes swinging their hands to and fro like a school girl.

"For the last month you've been working 7 days a week. Of course my "official" maternity leave doesn't start until I'm 6 months pregnant but you need to take it easy. I've been at the work site writing up all the reports and statements but you haven't really taken one day to really rest," Ayame said with a gentle sigh.

"I promise you I'll take a break soon…but I have work to get to work. I mean I have to go to work," Heine answered.

"Who's pregnant?" Ayame asked.

"I am…you are!" Heine answered quickly fixing his fault.

"Where do you work?" Ayame asked. Heine thought it over closing and opening his tired eyes in a blank stare.

"I'm not sure," Heine answered with shame.

"Where do we live?" Ayame asked.

"On the street…in a house," Heine answered.

"I meant what's our address?" Ayame corrected. Heine thought it over trying to remember his own address.

"7091 Free Breeze, District 7, Maius 3," Heine answered.

"Well after about 10 minutes you were able to partially answer that question. Are we having a girl or a boy?" Ayame sighed.

"We're having a girl, right?" Heine answered rubbing his tired aching head.

"Yes…we're having a girl," Ayame replied.

"Okay…Maybe I'm a little tired but I can still work!" Heine cried out.

"A little tired?! You can't even remember who's pregnant!" Ayame retaliated.

"That's you!" Heine laughed tiredly. Then he began to laugh at his goofiness causing Ayame to giggle slightly before becoming stern.

"Now go back to bed," Ayame ordered.

"Yes your royal highness," Heine joked before running into the wall right next to the door.

"Heine…Maybe I should take you to bed," Ayame suggested before remembering that she wasn't wearing her glasses.

"No let me do it," Heine answered going behind her and pushing her.

"No Heine…stop," Ayame cried as he began to push her towards a wall. He stopped looking at her face.

"Why?" Heine asked.

"You're going to run me into the wall," Ayame cried out.

"Please, let me take you to bed and then I can go to bed…to work!" Heine replied.

"HEINE! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WORK AND THAT'S FINAL!" Ayame screamed angrily grabbing his collar.

---

"Never upset pregnant women…It's a little scary, and a little amusing but it's scary," Heine laughed. _With Cagalli's personality she's probably going to the scariest pregnant woman in all of earth, _Athrun thought with a hesitant chuckle.

"What's wrong?" Heine asked.

"Oh…my fiancée she has a temper," Athrun answered.

"You have a fiancée? Well I'll be damned," Heine said thoughtfully.

---

"Ayame do you have to drive me?" Heine complained.

"Yes. You're still so tired. Look at you," Ayame replied.

"Fine, tomorrow," Heine answered.

"I'm staying today. I have to type up some reports," Ayame replied taking hold of Heine's hand. Heine smiled softly at her brushing her hand softly.

"Alright, when are you going home?" Heine asked curiously.

"When you do…I don't want to come back for you," Ayame answered pulling into a parking spot.

"What?! You should go home and rest," Heine retaliated.

"I'll see you at 1:00pm," Ayame ignored getting out of their car with some trouble due to her belly getting larger.

"Ayame wait a minute," Heine answered locking the car and hurrying up with her.

"Yes Heine?" Ayame questioned.

"I love you," Heine answered hugging his wife tightly. She blushed softly whispering the same words into his ear.

"See you later," Ayame cheered walking in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, later," Heine answered before following her.

"Heine?" Ayame asked.

"I'm going to escort you. You always get here early," Heine answered offering her his arm. She smiled taking it happily. It had always been great being married to Heine, yes they had their ups and downs but she always loved him.

---

"Why do you baby your wife?" a soldier asked as Heine put on his flight suit.

"I don't baby my wife," Heine snapped.

"Yes you do! You take her everywhere and you get her every food she wants. Women should be subordinate to you! You shouldn't be doing anything for your wife," the soldier answered.

"Who the hell are you to judge?! I'm taking care of my wife because that's what we agreed to! I don't care what you think! She's my wife and I love her for who she is!" Heine snapped grabbing the man's collar.

"You know I used to look up to you but you're a pathetic man and a pathetic soldier!" the man growled.

"Who cares what you think!" Heine answered pushing the man away from him.

---

"I hated that man. You know what it was…he was a cousin of Michael Südlich. It really pissed me off," Heine expressed angrily.

"It would piss me off too. Why does everyone like your wife?" Athrun asked.

"Well that soldier thought that I had stolen Ayame away from Michael and that he made Ayame pregnant. Unfortunately I had to explain to him that I was her husband and that I made her pregnant," Heine sighed.

"Did he except it?" Athrun asked.

"No," Heine laughed, "he never did until Michael told him that he had fallen in love with Frieda."


	26. Chapter 26

Never Look Back Chapter 26

---

"Heine…can you get some baby booties?" Ayame asked quietly.

"baby booties?! Where am I going to find baby booties at this time and hour?!" Heine asked slightly outraged.

"Oh and some baby caps! I don't know?! Please oh please oh please," Ayame begged.

"Ayame where am I going to find these things?" Heine demanded as she sat him up in bed.

"I guess I'll go on my own," Ayame answered.

"No no no! I'm going!" Heine answered getting out of bed. Ayame pursued playfully grabbing her coat following him down the stairs. She got into the car with him causing Heine to sigh.

"Ayame…out…" Heine sighed.

"No…I gotta make sure you get the right ones," Ayame giggled.

"Fine," Heine sighed, she chuckled stroking his arm gently.

"We don't have to go…that's if you don't want to," Ayame answered seeing that he was upset.

"No I can't think to see your unhappy face. I don't know where to find them," Heine sighed.

"Heine why don't we go home," Ayame suggested as they pulled into a parking lot.

"I'll be back," Heine sighed kissing her lips softly.

---

"I never knew pregnant women craved material things," Athrun said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, and I always had to buy a lot for her to be satisfied," Heine sighed playfully.

---

"Ayame I've been thinking…" Heine began before Ayame cut him off.

"I'm not leaving ZAFT!" Ayame answered.

"We're going to be having a baby and we need someone to take care of her," Heine retaliated.

"Then why don't you leave?!" Ayame demanded.

"I'm not going to leave. Ayame just think about it. She needs a mother," Heine sighed.

"I'm not leaving! She also needs a father Heine! I'm six and a half months pregnant and you're still piloting a mobile suit!" Ayame cried out. Heine sat silently in thought thinking over all of his options.

"Ayame," Heine sighed.

"Don't "Ayame" me! She needs a father just as much as she needs a mother!"

"Fine…I know I won't be able to persuade you," Heine answered getting out his seat.

"Where are you going?" Ayame demanded.

"Out," Heine muttered before slamming the front door.

---

"I feel so bad that I did that to her. I didn't want to yell at her so I left. I now understand what she meant. She wanted both of us to quit…Yet we were too stubborn…I blame myself for her death. If I had just…Excuse my ranting," Heine chuckled sadly.

---

"Heine you know we haven't picked a name for our daughter," Ayame suggested rubbing Heine's shoulder.

"I want to name her," Heine muttered too distracted by the soccer game.

"Fine why don't we make a deal…If your team wins I get to pick the first names and if your team loses you get to pick the first names," Ayame suggested.

He looked up at her becoming more interested in Ayame then his game, "Who gets to pick the middle name?"

"If your team wins then you pick the middle names if your team loses I get to pick the middle names," Ayame answered.

"So if my team wins you get to pick the name of our daughter right?" Heine asked for clarification.

"No no, I get to pick the first names of all our children," Ayame answered. Heine thought it over for about 20 minutes thinking if he wanted to risk it.

"Deal," Heine muttered putting out his hand for a shake. Ayame shook it happily before kissing Heine's cheek. They watched the game and Heine's team was losing by one.

"Helga…Her name will be Helga," Heine suggested with a smile.

"Helga? HELGA?! Please win please! GO TEAM GO!" Ayame screamed at the tv. Surprisingly Heine's team pulled through and won the game 3 to 2.

"Alright…you won…What's her name?" Heine said playfully pulling his now 7 month pregnant wife against him.

"Hana," Ayame answered.

"Hannah?" Heine asked surprised at the name.

"NOOOOO!!!! HA NA!" Ayame retaliated.

"Oh Hana! That's a pretty name. You know I wasn't going to pick the name Helga right?" Heine chuckled.

"I'm glad! What's her middle name?" Ayame asked.

"Erica," Heine suggested.

"That's very sweet Heine," Ayame answered as he pulled her closer to him.

---

"Did she ever suffer morning sickness?" Athrun asked curiously.

"Oh yes! I knew you didn't want to hear about that," Heine began, "Just to say never bring a video camera when your wife is in labor."

"Why?" Athrun asked curiously.

"This is what Ayame told me: If you bring that stupid camera I'll break your neck in four places," Heine chuckled.

---

"Heine," Ayame gasped sitting up quickly in bed.

"Ayame…today's my birthday…Can't it wait until tomorrow?" Heine asked

"N-No! It's time!" Ayame answered.

"Yeah…now go back to sleep," Heine muttered tiredly. She shook him violently causing him to sit up.

"_It's _TIME!" she cried holding her swollen belly. Heine quickly snapped out of his trance getting out of bed quickly. It was 3:56am September 19 and Ayame had finally gone into labor.

"Alright alright…relax, I'll get dressed," Heine answered helping her get out of her clothes before getting into his own. He grabbed the keys on the nightstand before helping her down the stairs.

"Okay which car do you want to take? The small one or the big one?" Heine asked calmly.

"I DON'T CARE!" Ayame cried feeling pain from her lower her body.

"Wait let me grab the baby bag and the camera," Heine answered helping her into the smaller car.

"If you bring that stupid camera I'm going to break your neck in four places," Ayame snapped breathing heavily. Heine tensed up slightly grabbing the baby bag and the camera next to the door. The child seat was already in the trunk as Heine threw the bag into the back of the car before getting into the driver's seat. He left the driveway quickly knowing that Ayame would get on him if they didn't leave quickly.

"Everything's going to be alright," Heine soothed giving her his hand. She took it quickly squeezing it tightly. Heine tensed slightly feeling pain from her tight hold. He drove as fast as he could with out getting a ticket.

"Heine…it hurts," Ayame cried.

"I know…I'm sorry…We'll be there shortly…We're almost there. See you can see the sign," Heine soothed squeezing her hand tightly.

"Oh good…I'm in so much pain," Ayame cried as tears came out of her eyes.

"Don't cry. Please…I'm going to park okay Ayame?" Heine soothed pulling into a spot quickly. He turned off the car getting out crossing to the other side, opening the her door. He picked her up before locking the car and carrying her into the hospital.

---

Athrun laughed, "You took the camera anyways?"

"Yes. For afterwards," Heine chuckled with hints of blush on her face.

---

"You're doing great Mrs. Westenfluss keep pushing," the nurses and staff ushered as Heine stood next to her awkwardly. A couple of hours ago he had almost passed out but now he was fine.

"Heine," Ayame breathed feeling terrible amounts of pain.

"Ayame are you sure you don't want any medicine now?" Heine asked as she withered in pain.

"N-No…All Honda women go through labor without medicine," she cried.

"Ayame-chan…I broke that tradition when I had your mother and your mother broke that tradition as well. Many Honda women haven't survived childbirth because of the pain and other contributing factors," her grandmother explained coming next to her.

"Obaa-chan…but…" Ayame muttered looking up at her grandmother.

"It's probably too late," Heine said skeptically.

"She's still in the early stages we can give her the medicine…It'll help but not all the pain will go away," Dr. Yamira answered. Ayame sighed nodding her head slightly.

"Push," you're doing great," the nurses told her. She shook her head as Heine gave her his hand again. She squeezed it tightly causing Heine to flinch.

"Mr. Westenfluss…Why don't you lay down for a little while. You look tired," Dr. Yamira suggested.

"No. I promised Ayame to stay by her side," Heine answered.

---

Hana was finally born at 4:19pm and Ayame was asleep due to the intensity of labor. Heine walked over to the little crib that Hana was in staring at her tiny daughter it was about 5:17pm.

"She's beautiful," Heine whispered rubbing the little girl's cheek. Heine picked her up slowly cradling the little girl in his arms. Her little eyes were closed and her body was tightly wrapped in a hospital supplied blanket. He kissed her face softly feeling the soft skin she possessed. Heine took her to the window shielding her from the light so she didn't wake up. Her hair was green and soft as Heine continued to stroke her cheek. He sat in the rocking chair rocking his little baby slowly.

"Heine?" Ayame yawned looking over at the man next to him.

"Shhhh…Hana's sleeping," Heine answered getting out of the chair slowly.

"She's cute," Ayame whispered.

"Thanks for the perfect birthday present. I couldn't ask for more," Heine whispered lovingly nuzzling his wife softly. He kissed her lips softly as the little girl moved in his arms. Heine transferred the baby to her arms kissing the little baby softly.

"I love you Heine," Ayame whispered as he wrapped an arm around him.

"Heine! I'm glad that we get to see the baby," Heine's mother said entering the room dramatically. Luckily Hana didn't wake up as his mother came close to Ayame and Heine. She pulled Heine's cheek before patting it slightly.

"Well congratulations," his step-father muttered.

"So is it a girl or a boy?" Heine's mother asked.

"It's a girl…her name is Hana," Ayame soothed.

"Hana?! What the hell type of name is that?" his mother asked.

"It's a cute name," his step father and father snapped.

"It mean flower in Japanese," Ayame answered as her baby opened her tiny eyes. She stared at her surrounding before crying to be fed.

"Doesn't your name mean flower?" Heine's father asked.

"Yes…and no…My name means Moon Flower," Ayame answered.

"Um If you'll excuse us mother, father and STEP-father," Heine said pushing them out of the room so she could feed her little child.

---

WOW! Two chapters in one day!


	27. Chapter 27

Never Look Back Chapter 27

---

"I never really talked about the nursery we made for her. I painted it and Ayame helped me furnish it. It was a lovely little room…Ayame was perfect in it. She fit so perfectly in it…it was the best dream that ever came true," Heine explained quietly. This part of his life was so up to date that it was becoming harder and harder to explain these thing to Athrun.

---

"Mommy and daughter are home!" Heine cooed helping Ayame into the house.

"Heine," Ayame chuckled taking their daughter to their couch. The little girl was sound asleep as mother and father watched her.

"Thank you," Heine whispered into Ayame's hair.

"Why?" Ayame asked curiously.

"You've made me into a better man," Heine whispered again kissing the top of her head.

"What are you getting at?" Ayame asked.

"I'm glad that I've met you. I'm so happy…You've made me so happy Ayame. You're a great woman…an honest great woman," Heine chuckled kissing her softly. Little Hana opened her eyes with a flutter staring up at her mother and father. Her stare was confused and tired as her little mouth opened and closed. Heine wrapped his arm around Ayame leaning his head on her shoulder.

"Her hands are balled into the cutest little balls or fists," Ayame chuckled as Heine gave her his finger.

"Yeah. She's adorable. She looks like you," Heine whispered.

"I love babies. How many kids do you want?" Ayame asked.

"Hm…Why don't we just do it as we go. I'm not very sure how many kids I want. About 3 or 4," Heine answered.

"She has your eyes Heine-chan," Ayame admired.

"She has your hair," Heine chuckled.

"It looks like she's going to have your eyes," Ayame answered as Heine shook little Hana's hand softly. She looked up at the source curious to why he was shaking her little hand.

No Heine…she can't have my eyes…She'll be like me," Ayame answered. The eye color was yet to be distinguished and would take a couple days possibly to be able to tell.

"Ayame…It might not be that bad. It'll teach her something," Heine replied smiling at his little daughter.

"Heine I don't want her to suffer the same torment that I did," Ayame sighed. Hana opened and closed her eyes tiredly before beginning to cry to be fed. She breastfed Hana as Heine rocked the two of them slowly.

---

Heine chuckled, "I still remember the stupid grin I had on my face when Hana came home. That stupid grin I always wore when I saw Hana and Ayame together. That's when I learned that she wouldn't touch me because she was too busy with Hana. I tried effortlessly and she wouldn't want to have sex. So I got a bright idea. I took over changing Hana and bathing Hana and it worked!"

"Really?" Athrun asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. She began to become a little over bearing. We were even more careful with Hana around. I remember the night we went back to having sex very well. It was the night of the armory one incident. That was defiantly the turning point of all our fights. I knew they would call both of us. They would call me back immediately and then call her back when her maternity leave was over. I was called back 7 days after the event. Within those 7 days we fought so much and also made love so much. It was odd…Our passion went with anger…Hana was three weeks old…" Heine explained.

---

"Ayame you need to be here with Hana," Heine demanded.

"Why?! Because I'm a woman?! Because women do all the child rearing?!" Ayame retaliated.

"No it's not because of that!" Heine began with a sigh, "One of us has to stay with her!"

"And of course it HAS to be me! THE WOMAN!" Ayame answered sarcastically.

"Ayame you're her mother! You have to stay!" Heine bellowed.

"and YOU'RE her father! What's the difference Heine?! What's the difference?! We both have to go! AND I remember you said that we'd both go!" Ayame hollered.

"THAT WAS BEFORE ALL OF THIS! THAT WAS BEFORE THIS DISPUTE!" Heine screamed.

Ayame laughed with triumph, "You can't stop me! YOU. CAN'T. STOP. ME! I also remember you saying that we GO where WE'RE sent! Not YOU go where YOU'RE sent!" Heine grabbed her wrist forcefully blinded in rage he forced her to the wall glaring into her eyes.

"You listen to me…" Heine began before his wife cut him off.

"Or what? You're going to hit me? Beat me to the floor for being an insubordinate wife?!" Ayame said in a low voice. Heine snapped back into reality releasing Ayame quickly. The expression on his face was like a child's when they have done something wrong. His raged filled eyes went to sorrow as he back away from Ayame shaking his head sadly. _No! I didn't…_he thought as Ayame's expression also changed.

"Heine?" Ayame asked as his face scrunched with pain. His breath was quick and loud as he back into the opposite wall. He slid down the wall putting his head in his hand.

"Heine?" Ayame asked getting off the wall he had pushed her against. Hana was still wailing but it didn't register with both of them.

"Heine?" Ayame asked again getting on the floor with him. Was he crying? Was he in pain? She placed a hand on his shoulder which sent a shock through his body.

"I'm going to go out," he muttered standing up.

"Let me go with you," Ayame whispered.

"No…You need to hush Hana…she's frightened," Heine answered his head was low. What had he done? He had raised a hand against her. Was he really going to hit her? Was he going to make her shrivel in fear?

"What if she wants you?" Ayame asked. Heine fell to the ground shocked at what she said. Ayame went upstairs hoping Heine would follow her. She entered the nursery picking up the hollowing Hana. The touch of her mother was almost instantly soothing. The hollowing stopped but her cries continued. She was getting bigger as Heine came upstairs peering in on them. Once Hana was asleep she laid the little girl in her crib before going to the door with Heine.

"Can we talk?" He asked in a soft low voice. His voice was weak and fragile just like Hana's small cry.

"Sure," Ayame answered as Heine took her into their room. He sat down on their bed before taking her on his lap.

"Ayame I'm sorry that I hurt you…" He began before being interrupted by Ayame.

"You didn't hurt me," Ayame interrupted.

"Let me finish. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I was blinded by so much rage. I'm not sure if I was going to hit you or not…I never want to do that again. I grabbed you so forcefully…I pushed you so forcefully. I promised you that I would never hurt you…but I did…And I'm sorry. I am deeply truly sorry. Sorry is never enough though…It's never enough," Heine stated weakly.

"Heine it's alright," Ayame said softly. Heine shook his head quickly pulling Ayame closer.

"Sorry is never enough,' Heine restated. Ayame sighed softly rubbing her husband's chest softly to help sooth him.

"Forgive and forget right?" Ayame asked softly.

"Yeah," Heine muttered.

"Forgive and Forget. You know Hana's close to her first smile," Ayame chuckled trying to make Heine smile.

"Really?" Heine asked sadly.

"Really. Smile…okay?" Ayame asked smiling at her husband. He sighed softly rubbing his wife's sides.

"Ayame…If you want to go back to ZAFT…go ahead…We're still going to disagree," Heine answered.

"Maybe…Alright. You leave tomorrow right?" Ayame asked pulling his shirt over his head.

"Yeah. What are you doing?" Heine asked curiously.

"Well I want to give you a good…a very good last night," Ayame giggled before kissing his neck softly.

"Even after how I've treated you?" Heine asked feeling Ayame's gentle kisses move down his neck to his chest.

"Heine…forgive and forget. I love you okay? I want your night to be good," Ayame whispered to him.

---

"Ah Heine. Where's Ayame?" Commander Hawkins asked curiously as Heine boarded their ship.

"She's still on maternity leave. She'll be back as soon as she can," Heine answered.

"Actually she will be assigned to a new ship in our fleet. She will be receiving her own team. I was going to assign you to her team but I don't want there to be any problems…you know being underneath your wife in all. How's the baby?" Hawkins asked.

"She's doing great. She smiled at us for the very first time this morning," Heine answered with a smile.

"You guys named her Hana correct? That's a very pretty name," Hawkins added as they walked through the halls.

"Yes. Ayame gave her that name," Heine answered.

"I hate that we have to separate a beautiful family," Hawkins sighed softly.

"It wasn't you. It was this god damn war. I hope this one will be settled before any major fighting takes place," Heine sighed, "I want to get back to my daughter."

---

"So they made your wife a team leader?" Athrun asked.

"Yeah but they disbanded it right before she died. Her team always followed mine so we were never far from each other," Heine answered.


	28. Chapter 28

Never Look Back Chapter 28

---

"Did your daughter have a quiet cry?" Athrun asked curiously.

Heine nodded, "Oh yes. It was hard to hear her. Except for that one time we were fighting we always attended to her quickly," Heine answered.

"She's a very cute baby," Athrun chuckled with hints of blush.

"Thanks," Heine answered.

"Don't mention it," Athrun countered happily.

"Ayame was slightly infuriated that the new grunt mobile suits were green. Since her personal color was green. She changed it to a deep forest green. I liked it a lot better," Heine thought thinking about his wife. "I was there when she became commander. She was really nervous and many of the soldiers thought I was their commander. I only took command of the Hawkins team during battle. She is…was…one feisty woman. I know it didn't seem like that when I talk about her but she was."

---

"I can't believe our commander is the wife of one of the greatest soldiers of all time. Why can't we have them? She's so meek!" a soldier complained to another causing Heine and Ayame to over hear.

"Why that little," Heine muttered trying to move towards them only to be stopped by Ayame. She walked to them grabbing both of their collars slamming them into the walls.

"I'm meek eh? What makes you think that?" Ayame asked tightening her grip.

"ahhh…Well you're thin and…ahhh," the soldier muttered.

"Yeah, you're not really ZAFT material," the other soldier included.

"I guess graduating at the top of the women's AND men's class doesn't make you ZAFT material anymore. I'm just as qualified as my husband and I graduated before him making me his superior! Just because someone appears weak doesn't mean that they're not strong," Ayame snapped in their faces. The men stared at her fearfully since they've never met a woman this scary. She released them causing them to back off quickly.

"Wow…" Heine muttered walking to his wife.

"How was that Heine?" Ayame asked curiously with a gentle smile.

"Gentle and Deadly that's the way I like you," Heine teased twirling a lock of her hair. She giggled softly before Heine noticed something around her neck. He went into the front of her uniform pulling out three things: Two gold chains and a medium size heart locket.

"It has a picture of us…our family," Ayame whispered softly. Heine opened it quickly seeing their happy faces except Hana since she was sleeping.

"I regret leaving her just as much as you do," Heine said softly placing a hand on her shoulder. "What are the chains for?"

"Oh…One's for you…I thought it might be a good idea to swap rings when we're in battle so if one of us dies…we will still have our rings, a way to remember the other by," Ayame answered.

---

"That's how I have her rings," Heine answered taking the rings out to stare at them. "Also she didn't die straight away. Oh sorry…I'm getting ahead of myself." Athrun shifted in his seat uncomfortably at the thought of death before something dawned on him.

_Flashback_

_--- _

"_That's my dance instructor! The one over there with the green hair! Her name is Ayame…I think," Meer gossiped pointing at a green haired woman with glasses. She was walking around tiredly probably from a hard day of work._

"_Oh…She's a soldier," Athrun said uncomfortably as Meer wrapped her arms around his midsection._

"_Yeah she has the cutest little baby too!" Meer cheered before snuggling the unhappy Athrun. She called over the woman introducing him to her. They chatted briefly before she departed to her destination._

_--- _

_End Flashback_

Athrun dropped his glass causing it to shatter on the floor. The sound upset the other patrons as Athrun stared into the abyss. Heine looked at him curiously wondering what had dawned on him.

"Are you alright?" Heine asked shaking his new found friend softly.

"I met her…I met your wife…" Athrun said his voice quivering. He stared down at his hands that were shaking violently.

Heine was shocked, "When?"

"When I was…When I met…Me-Lacus," Athrun quickly corrected.

Heine leaned in close to Athrun looking around to make sure that no one was looking at them, "I know that the Lacus here with us isn't the real Lacus. At least I don't think so. My wife made that really clear to me. She would never go into detail she just said that she knew."

"She was teaching her…Lacus said that Ayame was her dance instructor," Athrun answered.

"Relax Athrun…Everything will be alright," Heine soothed rubbing his back softly.

"I never even noticed," Athrun muttered.

"How could you? You haven't met me until today," Heine soothed once more.

---

"FAITH? What is it?" Ayame asked curiously as Heine and herself boarded a shuttle to the PLANTs.

"I don't know…Something the chairman wants to give us I thought….maybe it's faith…Maybe be he's commending us for our faith in Z.A.F.T." Heine shrugged as they went to their seats. The war had been well under way for a couple of months now and Heine and Ayame were missing their daughter greatly.

"Do you think we will be able to see Hana?" Ayame asked Heine softly.

Heine sighed softly, "I don't know Ayame…I really don't know."

"I hope we can go see her soon," Ayame muttered as other people joined them on their flight. An old woman came aboard sitting across from Heine and Ayame. She eyed them curiously as Heine whispered something into Ayame's ear.

"Are you two on your honeymoon?" the old lady asked leaning towards them.

"Oh no we've been married for a little past a year now," Heine chuckled.

"Oh…So this must be your SECOND honeymoon," the lady chuckled. _She's reminding me of my mother…a lot horny…but my mother… _Heine thought as Ayame blushed softly.

"No we're going to our new base," Ayame lied pointing at their uniforms.

"OHHH!!! YOU'RE SOLDIERS! My my you two like to dress the same don't you," the lady said loudly. Soon the whole shuttle was looking at Heine and Ayame. Ayame shifted in her seat uncomfortably hoping that no one ELSE would join the conversation.

"No we're the same rank," Heine answered taking Ayame's hand to comfort her.

"Well I think you two are a very nice looking couple. Do you have any children?" the lady chuckled.

"Um, please let's not make this more personal then we need to," Heine answered.

"Oh you probably do then!" the lady called out loudly. _I don't like this woman…_Ayame thought as Heine squeezed her hand.

"Please could you stop asking these questions? The whole shuttle is staring," Heine whispered to her.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Jeez these kids these day!" the lady snapped. Heine sighed as a flight attendant came to the woman.

"Ma'am you need to quiet down or we're going to take you off this flight," she whispered softly.

"You can't do that! Don't tell me what to do!" the lady snapped again as the flight attendant smelt alcohol in her breath.

"Ma'am please…stay quiet or we will take you off this flight," the flight attendant whispered again. There was no stopping the old lady as she directed her questions back to Heine and Ayame.

"Have you two had sex?" the woman asked.

"That is too personal," Heine answered looking at the people in their shuttle. Some were blushing out of embarrassment and others gave hard looks at the woman. The woman was kicked off the flight and eventually they had taken off. Ayame being her normal tired self laid on Heine's shoulder and drifted off into sleep.

"Good night honey," Heine whispered going through her hair laying his head on hers.

---

"Thank you for getting here on such short notice. You two look like you're suffering from harsh cases of jetlag," the chairman answered holding out his hand to shake Ayame's and Heine's hand. They shook his hand gently before Ayame collapsed into Heine's arms.

"Sorry sir…she's really tired," Heine answered shaking Ayame to keep her awake. Her eyes opened and closed slowly as she stood straight up again. A soft groan was omitted before she stop suddenly realizing she was in the presence of the chairman.

"It's alright. I called you two out here late last night. Now do you two know why you're here?" the chairman asked going back behind his desk.

"Something about faith?" Heine answered.

"Yes FAITH: Fast Acting Integrated Tactical Headquarters. Ayame your work as squad leader has been excellent. In the last couple of months no one has died and you have not let one enemy get past you. Heine your work as a pilot has changed the outlooks of many battles. Ayame…Heine…your exploits have been noticed by the council and by the lives of soldiers you have effected. As of today you two are FAITH members. You have special privileges such as personalized pilot colors, give strategic orders at any moment and to override any orders except those given by the Council. Congratulations," the chairman announced holding out the shiny badges. The badges were wing shaped with a golden elliptical orb. Ayame and Heine graciously accepted the badges taking them from their superior.

"Thank you for the honor sir," the military couple said in unison.

"You're welcome. For the next two weeks you two will be my personal guards. Ayame no female has come close to beating your score at the academy and you're fifth overall in all the academies. Heine you miss 1 out of 75 shots. Ayame you miss 1 out of 70 times," Gil announced.

"Yes Sir!" they said in unison. Ayame fidgeted slightly as they saluted.

"Is something on your mind Ayame?" Gil asked curiously.

"I…I'm just curious, can we see our daughter. She's…she's three months old now and I speak for the both of us…we'd love to see her…As long as you permit us to do so," Ayame asked causing Heine and Ayame to stiffen. _Ayame why did you ask that?! You know he'll probably say no! _Heine thought looking over at her.

"I can not permit you to go see her but as long as someone can bring her to you. I can arrange away for you two to live together. Is that okay with you?" the chairman asked placing a hand on her shoulder. A shock went through her spine as she nodded her head. Something didn't feel right…his hold was…cold…

---

Ayame leaned her head against the shower wall thinking about the chairman's cold touch. It was abnormal and she hated the feeling…It felt similar to what happened to her after Yukio attacked her. She wanted to go home…she wanted to be free of this war.

"Ayame are you alright?" Heine asked rubbing Ayame's back gently. He had entered the shower becoming more and more worried about her.

"Hm? Yeah," she answered still not looking at him. Heine sighed softly continuing to rub her back sensing that she was lying. His hair became drenched covering his eyes partially.

"You take 10 minute showers you been in here for 35 minutes. What's wrong?" Heine asked.

"Something's wrong. The chairman's touch…it was really cold. Heine, something's going on with the chairman. I'm not sure what but he's not the same anymore. Heine I'm worried. I don't like this," Ayame answered. Heine kissed her cheek gently reassuring he that everything was okay.

"Everything will be alright Ayame. Don't worry alright. I'll protect you, okay?" Heine reassured kissing her cheek again. She looked back at him before turning around in his grip wrapping her arms around his neck.

---

"Trish should be here any second," Heine answered rubbing Ayame's back gently. The chairman was taking a day off and he didn't need them at the moment. Trish was Mamoru's wife. She had always been fond of the couple.

"Yeah…She's three and a half months now," Ayame answered.

"Relax Hana will be fine," Heine soothed continuing to rub her back. He kissed her cheek. They saw the brunette maiden coming down a flight of stairs with a infant car seat. Ayame's eyes watered slightly once they reached them. Trish smiled gently at them before placing the seat on the ground. Their daughter was fast asleep like normal causing Heine to chuckle.

"It's great to see you Trish!" Ayame cried wrapping her arms around her.

"It's great to see you too," Trish said softly extending her hand to Heine. Heine smiled softly hugging the twp women.

"How's our little flower?" Heine asked.

"She's been doing great. I've been showing her the videos everyday and everyday she reaches out to you two on the screen. She doesn't like Mamoru or myself holding her after she watches the videos. I think she'll enjoy seeing you again," Trish chuckled. Ayame's tearful eyes broke into a cry for joy as she wrapped her arms around Heine.

"Can I hold her?" she asked through her cries.

"Of course you can," Trish and Heine answered. Ayame gently scooped her daughter into her arms rubbing her back softly. Hana stirred quietly before wrapping her little arms around Ayame's neck.

"So are you staying for a little while?" Heine asked pulling Ayame and baby close.

"No…I can't. I'm staying the night, before going back home," Trish sighed reluctantly.

"Stay with us," Heine suggested picking up the carrier and taking Hana's baby bag from Trish. He escorted the women to their car.

"Really? I was going to stay in a hotel," Trish answered as Heine helped her into the car. Ayame placed Hana in her seat before securing it to the car seat. Ayame enjoyed sitting in the back with her little baby. That all she wanted to do…be a family again.

---

"Trish left the next day even though we begged her not to go. We enjoyed the time we spent with our daughter. Our little girl loves to be held she never likes to be put down for long unless she's distracted," Heine chuckled gently. "Hana has the cutest laugh. I loved it, it was the best sound I have ever heard. She loved it when I made things pop out in front of her crib. She had pretty fat cheeks at that time. I think that was my fault because I was chubby faced at that age." Athrun chuckled as well before seeing Heine frowning.

"Is something wrong?" Athrun asked as his smile faded.

"I wish I had more family moments like that," Heine sighed jiggling the contents of his glass. He had never wished for something like this…He wanted to be a whole family again but how could they? Ayame was dead.


	29. Chapter 29

Never Look Back Chapter 29

---

"Ayame was forever then frighten of the chairman. She never liked seeing him and always feared coming to his office," Heine sighed.

"Heine, you said something about videos. What are these videos?" Athrun asked curiously.

"Oh those…They were videos we made for Hana so that she'd know who we were since we wouldn't be there with her. We continued to make them for her. One or two for every year of her life. We made them all the way up to 18 years of age just in case we died," Heine explained.

"Oh," Athrun said sadly feeling that Heine was becoming more and more depressed with every story he told her.

---

"How's the report going?" Heine asked watching his wife type at her computer.

"All good I'll be done within the hour," Ayame answered cleaning the lens of her glasses quickly. She wrote something down before returning to her computer.

"You're left handed?!" Heine gasped. Ayame looked up with him with a-I-can't-believe-you're-asking-this facial expression.

"Yes. You never noticed?" Ayame asked returning to her report.

"Never! I hope Hana's left handed," Heine cooed leaning over her desk to kiss her cheek.

"Heine you know that we're not allowed to kiss in uniform," Ayame muttered.

"Aw, you party pooper. We used to kiss all the time," Heine chuckled leaning on her desk.

"Come here Heine," Ayame giggled finishing her report. She turned around in her chair forcing Heine to the ground. She took his cheeks softly kissing his lips gently.

"Ayame we're not suppose to kiss in uniform," Heine teased kissing her again. They continued to kiss as Heine gently tugged on her skirt.

"STOP! Stop! I'm not having sex in my office. I told you that on day 1!" Ayame answered.

"Don't you want to be a bad girl once in a while?" Heine chuckled kissing her lips.

"If _so _I'm on top!" Ayame giggled pushing him onto the floor.

Heine groaned, "No thanks then."

"Come on you! You just wanted to have sex but now you're reluctant…you're silly," Ayame chuckled getting off of him.

"I promise you that when we get home you can be on top ALL you want. Not here…I'll be the laughing stock of the whole fleet," Heine answered as a soldier asked to come in. He got off the floor with a sigh as she allowed the soldier in. He was meek, shy and seemed to have a crush on Ayame. He saluted before entering the room.

"Good evening Robin," Ayame soothed as he saluted again.

"At ease," Heine answered as he looked down shyly.

"Is there something you need?" Ayame asked.

"The other men…ma'am…they talk dirty about you," he said softly.

"What do you mean?" Ayame asked as Heine curled his hands into fists.

"They talk about how fun it would be to…screw you…" Robin gulped his face turning bright red.

"Oh…thank you for your concern," Ayame said disgustedly. Heine saw her hands tremble softly.

"I'm sorry ma'am," he answered with a bow before backing to the door.

"Which soldiers," Heine asked Ayame looked at him quickly her eyes widening.

"It's not all of them…It's Baxton, Dudley and Riley," Robin answered.

"That'll be all," Heine muttered as Ayame looked down at her desk. Robin nodded leaving the room with a salute.

"Heine don't," Ayame said softly.

"You know I'm going to kill them. Don't try to stop me," Heine snapped.

"Heine don't! Please don't! I don't want you to do that! I will do something on my own!" Ayame answered frustrated. Heine rubbed her shoulders gently kissing the back of her kneck before going to the door.

"I'm going to go get some fresh air," Heine sighed.

"I order you not to leave…I am your superior," Ayame answered.

"Ayame, this is the one time I'm going to do what's needed," Heine muttered.

"They're my soldiers! I will deal with them!" Ayame snapped. Sensing that she was overly frustrated Heine walked back to her.

"Come here," Heine cooed softly.

"No Heine! NO!" but her body moved into his grip.

"Ayame listen. They respect you but I need you to trust me on this one. Let me disciple them," Heine answered kissing her cheeks softly.

"Heine they're my problem," Ayame answered.

"But when it comes to men talking about having sex with my wife. I have to take action," Heine soothed.

"Alright…You can…Don't get hurt alright," Ayame ordered.

---

"I didn't severely hurt the men. I terrorized them into having no more thoughts about Ayame," Heine muttered.

"I wish I was like you. I'm not very sure what I would do in that position.

Heine chuckled hysterically, "No you don't! I've lost my wife and I can't see my daughter! We may go where we're sent but why the hell am I fighting anyways? My stupidity caused my wife to die. I was too stubborn and naïve. I kept thinking, that won't happen to me. She won't die on me, we love each other too much. You don't want my life. Live life your own way."

"Heine," Athrun said softly.

"Those three men never gave Ayame any problems again. No man in her team ever did," Heine began. "Ours lives changed though. Drastically. We were given 2 weeks off to be with Hana. She was 4 and a half months old."

---

"As promised…I'm giving myself to you," Ayame giggled as Heine picked at her clothes. He smiled as her face went red but something was different…her mind was elsewhere. Heine flipped them over allowing her to be on top of them.

"Is something wrong my dear?" Heine asked leaning up kissing her neck softly. She turned her head in deep thought.

"I'm fine," she muttered as Heine tried to nibble on her lip. She turned her head again causing Heine to frown.

"What's up?" Heine asked rubbing her sides gently. She sighed gently breaking into a soft gasp.

"Mamoru…Mamoru betrayed Z.A.F.T. They called me…and said that he was a doctor and he ran off somewhere. Mamoru wasn't a doctor or scientist! He was a ship commander! I've been on his ship before! I don't understand! They also believe I'm in on it! I only know tidbit's about science! Mamoru wasn't a doctor! He was a ship commander!" Ayame cried gasping loudly.

"Relax Ayame," Heine said softly rubbing her back before pulling her close. He was just as confused as her. Mamoru himself had always told them that he was a ship commander, not a doctor!

"I won't think about it…Now why don't we continue you," Ayame said with a fake smile. She leaned in and kissed his lips softly.

"Turtle Dove, let's talk about it. You're not going to stop thinking about it," Heine said with a frown.

"Hana's asleep and I promised you that I'd have sex with you a MONTH ago. So I'm going to keep my word. Heine muttered a "fine" but he could tell in her eyes that she was still upset and still thinking about it.

---

"Thanks Ayame…but Turtle Dove my little Love Dove I don't want to do it with you unless you're completely focused on what we're doing," Heine whispered into her ear. She sighed with a nod.

"I didn't please you did I?" Ayame asked sadly looking back at him.

"No no no! You did like always but it seemed like I was hurting you instead of pleasing you," Heine whispered softly wrapping his arms around her bare waist.

"Oh…I was alright," Ayame answered she moved to get out of bed to put her clothes back on. Heine groaned softly holding on to her tightly.

"Please don't do that. Could you for once stay nude like me?" Heine asked.

"You know I feel awkward without my clothes on," Ayame answered trying to slip out of his grip. She stopped suddenly before breaking out of his grip and putting on her clothes.

"Let me take care of Hana," Heine muttered getting out of bed also.

"I'm already dressed," Ayame answered trotting out of the room. Heine chuckled softly also getting dressed. He saw Ayame stop at the doorway before backing away. She moved back to Heine moving into his arms before moving her head up to his ear.

"Your parents are in there," she whispered. Heine sighed moving into the room. Just as Ayame had said his mother was bouncing her and his father was just standing there.

"How did you get in?" Heine asked.

"Remember we bought this house," his father snapped. Ayame appeared behind Heine peaking over his shoulder. She pushed past him seeing all the new clothes they bought for Hana. Ayame flipped through them seeing that they were made of satin, silk, cashmere and other fancy materials. She also found baby bibs with expensive jewels sewed into them and a baby binkie cover with diamonds. Ayame looked up at them in disapproval.

"She doesn't need this," Ayame said picking up the binkie as if it was a vile substance.

"Well when you brought her over we thought that the rags you had for her were not good enough. We also bought you a stroller. It's downstairs. Isn't this wonderful? It's just like Christmas!" his mother chuckled. Ayame shook her head again in disapproval.

"They're NOT rags! Heine and I picked out the clothes for her. It also looks like you bought her a new crib!" Ayame muttered taking her daughter away from the grandmother. She left the room quickly placing her in the spare crib in the master bedroom. Hana was quiet but confused and tired. She groggily looked up at her mother before falling asleep. Ayame closed the door softly before going back into the nursery.

"I thought you were going to stay," Mrs. Westenfluss muttered.

"No…I'm going to ask you nicely: Please take all these nice things back," Ayame pleaded softly.

"Do you guys ALWAYS have sex that loudly?" his mother asked ignoring Ayame.

"Why don't I make myself more clear. I am her mother! You are her grandmother…and you're the step/half-grandfather! Heine's her father and as parents we will do what we see fit and best for Hana's best interests! Now if you don't take your things and go. I will call the police for breaking and entering our home," Ayame said her voice quivering with anger.

"Fine, if you don't want us to help you with your bastard child then we WILL leave!" his mother barked.

"Aren't you cruel! You called your ONLY granddaughter a bastard's child!" Ayame snapped flinging clothes at the grandmother.

"Well I never wanted Heine to marry you low life prostitute scum!" his mother snapped.

"Until YOU clean up YOUR act! You're not seeing Hana! Ever!" Ayame answered grabbing the clothes throwing them out of the room. Quickly Heine's mother ran out of the room to catch the clothes. Heine's father grabbed Ayame by the collar forcing her to her feet.

"Stop this!" he barked at her moving a hand above her head. Heine grabbed his hand pulling it behind his back.

"Don't you dare hit her!" Heine yelled freeing his wife from his grip.

---

"That was the only time Ayame had ever risen up against my parents," Heine said softly.

"Did they ever see Hana again?" Athrun asked curiously.

"Unfortunately yes. They came to me after Ayame died trying to apologize for everything they said," Heine sighed softly.


	30. Chapter 30

Never Look Back 30

---

"She began to have doubts about everything. Even our marriage," Heine sighed.

"That's horrible," Athrun muttered softly.

---

"Heine have you seen the movie The Notebook" Ayame asked putting away a set of dishes.

"Yeah…My mother loved watching it," Heine answered.

"Do you think you made the right choice?" Ayame asked fiddling with her apron.

"Turtle Dove," Heine began with sigh, "Of course I made the right choice. I love you honey. I don't care what your background is. Sure my parents don't like you but I don't care what they think."

"Please, Heine really think about it…You could have been so much more! You could have been a lawyer, or a doctor! YOU, you could have been someone!" Ayame answered.

"Sure I could have…But that's not what I want to do. I became a soldier and I met the most wonderful person in my life," Heine answered, "You could have been someone."

"No I couldn't," Ayame muttered.

"Ayame you're a beautiful dancer. You could have become a dancer!" Heine answered hugging his unsure wife.

"Yeah until I break something," Ayame muttered.

Heine sighed, "I love you. I really do love you. I'm going to get Hana." Ayame nodded softly as he kissed her cheek softly. Not wanting to leave his wife for long he raced upstairs grabbing their daughter before hurrying back down stairs. He placed the small girl in her jumper before going back to his wife. She was now on the floor staring at a knife in her hand. _Maybe if I just end it. Everything will be better _she thought as she placed it at her wrist.

"What are you doing?!" Heine demanded as her hands and body began to shake.

"I-I don't know! Ju-Just trust m-me! Everything will be better this way!" she cried as Heine forced the knife out of her hand.

"So everything will be better if you kill yourself?! If you leave Hana and myself alone?!" Heine demanded throwing the knife across the room so she couldn't get it.

"No! No…I don't know what got into me," Ayame said as she began to cry loudly.

"Turtle Dove. Everything will be alright. Relax honey. I know the chairman will know you're innocent," Heine shushed pulling her close to him.

---

"I don't know what to think of the chairman anymore. I'm angered that he sent my wife to her death bed. But I'm satisfied about what he's doing for the PLANTs," Heine sighed. "

---

Heine paced back and forward outside the room where the council was briefing Ayame. He knew that she was going to be alright, he knew that the chairman and the council would make the right choice. The tension caused his body to ache and his stomach to tie itself in a not. They had interviewed him an hour ago which had cleared Ayame's name in Heine's view. Yet, what if the council decided that she was guilty. How could she be guilt? Sure she had a close relationship with Mamoru but she knew nothing about his double life. Ayame came through the doors suddenly hugging Heine tightly. She was shaking greatly and her head was in his chest.

"Is everything alright?" Heine asked taking hold of her. She didn't say anything as she pushed Heine away from the door.

"I get it, let's go," Heine whispered to her. He took them to their car opening the door for her. She didn't let go causing Heine to help her into the car. He drove to the day care Hana was at leaving Ayame in the car. She stared ahead in an alert manner even when Heine came back with their daughter. He secured the baby in her car seat before driving off again. Heine brushed her cheek softly causing her to jump. When they got home Heine took the small girl out of her seat before assisting his wife. She clung on to him again in the same manner as before. Heine placed their little girl in her crib before going back to his wife.

"Alright, what did they tell you?" Heine asked. She clung onto Heine again letting out a cry. Her shoulders were trembling and she began to feel weak.

"I have to do a mission," Ayame whispered.

"Okay? That's alright right?" Heine answered.

"It's a solo mission," Ayame said her voice trembling even more.

"Okay. That isn't all bad right? Remember look at the brighter part of life," Heine coaxed rubbing her back gently for comfort.

"The survival rate is 20%," Ayame whispered as tears came out of her eyes.

"Wait…No. It can't be!" Heine answered. He looked down at Ayame kissing her head softly. She clung on tightly trying to calm herself.

"It is. If I didn't take the mission it was prison time or a firing squad," Ayame cried trembling even more.

"I don't understand! How could they convict you on anything. You don't know anything about what your brother was doing!" Heine cried.

"Heine…It's to test my loyalty to Z.A.F.T." Ayame answered.

"Who the hell created that dumb idea?!" Heine snapped.

"Th-The Ch-Chairman," Ayame muttered.

"You're kidding?!" Heine snapped outraged at her answer. She shook her head no crying even louder.

"I'm never going to see you two again!" she cried losing her balance. Heine took them to the floor kissing her cheeks softly.

"You'll survive. I promise you Ayame you will survive," Heine whispered to her trying to sooth her.

"I'm so scared. Heine I'm so scared," Ayame cried.

"I promise you Ayame you will survive. I will try to get you another mission. There has to be something else you can do," Heine whispered to her.

"NO! You can't or it'll be the firing squad! Please don't!" Ayame begged.

"Okay. Okay. I won't do that. Ayame don't worry, you'll be fine. I know they'll probably put me on back up. Don't worry about it," Heine soothed even though his body was shaking greatly. This could be the last time he ever saw his wife. She was weak and quiet as she cried in his arms. Their daughter bounced in her baby bouncer giggling softly.

"I wish life could be as easy as hers," Ayame sniffed softly removing her head from his chest.

"Ayame," Heine whispered into her gently hair.

---

"The chairman issued that sentence?" Athrun asked bewildered.

"Have you ever heard the phrase, the greater the truth the greater the libel? Since she's a FAITH…was a FAITH member and she "messed up" so the stakes were higher for Ayame," Heine muttered.

"You still believe Ayame's alive…don't you?" Athrun asked softly. Heine took a hard swallow of his drink before looking at Athrun.

"Yes. There are so many mysteries around Ayame's death," Heine answered.

"Like what?" Athrun asked curiously.

"Even to this very moment Z.A.F.T. lists Ayame as missing in action rather than killed in action. I keep trying to tell them but they never change it. Even the soldiers tell me she's missing in action," Heine sighed. "They say: I'm sorry sir but she wasn't KIA, she's MIA. She's been MIA for a while now sir. Will that be all?"

"That's a little mysterious," Athrun said still intrigued at the thought of Ayame being listed as MIA rather than KIA.

"Yeah…From that day on I tried to learn everything about Ayame. I wanted to make that if she died…that her daughter would always know what her mother was like," Heine sighed.

---

"What's your period like?" Heine asked softly as he cuddled his wife. They had been watching a little tv as their daughter slept up stairs.

"What?!" she asked looking at him abruptly.

"I meant exactly what I said. What's your period like?" Heine asked again.

"Heine, why are you asking me this?" Ayame asked as her face turned a deep red.

"Just in case…you know…I want to make sure I know everything about girls so we can teach it to Hana. You know she's going to have periods…eventually," Heine muttered scratching the back of his head before he turned red as well.

"It's painful, for me at least," Ayame sighed lying down on his chest again.

"Okay," Heine said taking out a pen and a sheet of paper.

"You're writing this down?!" Ayame gasped her face becoming even more red.

"Yes. Do you think I'm going to remember this when she's a teen?" Heine asked curiously.

"Alright. It feels awkward, there are so many mood swings, sometimes blood cots, they normally last about a week…I ALWAYS wish for 3 days," Ayame sighed as her husband's face became redder.

"Wow…Do you normally feel bad?" Heine asked looking into his wife's eyes.

"Heine…I'm on my period now…I'd rather just sit around all day then do work. I feel lazy, sick and weak," Ayame muttered. "I feel like napping." Heine quickly wrote that down as well before hugging his wife.

"What do you normally do when you're in pain?" Heine asked trying to sooth her.

"I lie down…sleep…take some pain medication if I really have to do something," Ayame answered as Heine kissed her cheek softly.

"Do you want to lay down for a little while?" Heine asked rubbing her sides gently.

"Not really. What if Hana cries?" Ayame said softly as Heine laid her down gently.

"Yes. She might cry but you should sleep bunbun," Heine soothed. Ayame flinched softly at the words "bunbun."

---

Heine chuckled softly, "She never liked the name bunbun. We had a day where we told each what we liked and didn't like. Ayame always hated the names bunbun and honey bun, sugar pie and cupcake. I always said them with the best intentions but she HATED them."

"What names did you not like?" Athrun asked laughing with him.

"Peapod, horny guy, hubby wubby, my wittle hubby," Heine answered.

"Peapod?" Athrun asked curiously.

"I didn't tell you the story of Peapod?" Heine asked as he began to laugh.

"No," Athrun said while shaking his head.

"Well it was after Ayame had given birth to Hana…

---

"Aw she's so cute she looks like a little peapod!" Heine chuckled. Ayame's hand quickly clenched Heine's tightly. She shot a death glare into his eyes as Hana wailed in the background. Heine gulped softly remembering the threat about breaking his neck in four places. Her death glare turned into a tired and amused face as she tried to close her eyes to rest. The bright lights on her face stopped her from sleeping so she tossed her head tiredly.

---

"She REALLY looked like she was about to kill me. Later she told me that she thought it was cute and was going to call me that," Heine laughed remembering the good times they shared. Athrun chuckled as well but could feel Heine's sadness developing inside of him.

---

"So pads or tampons?" Heine asked a day later.

"HEINE! I'm not going to answer that question," Ayame snapped.

"I just want to know…I don't want to prepare for the worst but I just want to know. What if you…what if you die….what if they decide to throw you in prison?" Heine asked softly.

Ayame sighed as she stopped washing the dishes, "When she starts she should use pads. Happy?"

"Okay. Honey…Are we expecting anyone?" Heine asked as the door bell rang twice.

"Not that I know of," Ayame answered as Heine went to the front door. He fixed his hair quickly before opening the door to reveal the Honda family minus Mamoru and his parents. His eye twitched softly at his parents but he was always glad to see the Honda family. Little Jun was now 8 and was beginning to look more and more like Ayame.

"Heine-san!" Jun cried hugging him tightly.

"Hello Jun. Did you guys come to see baby Hana?" Heine asked inviting all of them into the young Westenfluss home.

"Yeah. Well at least myself and Mitsuho. We haven't seen her yet. Only in pictures," Jun answered before scooping up her niece. Hana gurgled tunefully before cracking a smile.

"Hello Heine," Mitsuho bellowed he was now around the age of 12.

"Hello, your sister is in the kitchen," Heine answered before shutting the door. Ayame came out of the kitchen drying a plate almost dropping it surprised at the company they had.

"Hello! What a surprise," Ayame said with a gasp as Heine stood behind her. He wrapped his arm around her feeling her queasiness well up inside the two of them. Hana babbled happily showing her family her toothless smile. She was one of the lucky babies who almost had a full head of hair in which Ayame normally clipped on the left side.

---

"With the exception of my parents being complete snobs, we had a great night. We also discovered that Hana liked it when someone jiggled her arm fat," Heine chuckled.

"What do you mean?" Athrun asked confused as he felt his friend pinch his bicep softly before shaking it.

"She would laugh so hard. She has the cutest toothless smile. I have a picture of her smiling like that in my mobile suit. It's so adorable," Heine smiled. What a sad smile he had on his face.

"Sir…If you don't mind me saying…I think you should resign," Athrun mumbled softly.

"I know I should…but I'm not going to. I have to protect my baby from those demons," Heine answered. _Ayame…I'm still too stubborn to go home…Please force me to go…PLEASE I can't do this with out you…Send me something…some type of sign…something! _Heine thought.


	31. Chapter 31

Never Look Back Chapter 31

---

Ayame giggled loudly as she went through pictures of Heine's childhood. She continued to giggle as Heine came back downstairs with their daughter. She had been crying due to a dirty diaper.

"What's so funny?" Heine asked bringing their daughter to Ayame. She began to laugh even more as she took her little daughter. He looked over at the picture before groaning. His younger self was in a Sailor's uniform with a small sailor hat and a lollipop which he had in his mouth. He was a little older than his daughter now.

"I never thought of you as a Sailor boy!" Ayame giggled causing their daughter to laugh too.

"I hate that picture," Heine groaned as their daughter continued to smile.

"Oh Heine, it's a beautiful picture," Ayame cooed.

"Every year my parents put me in a sailor suit and took professional pictures of me," Heine explained as his daughter kicked her legs playfully.

Ayame gasped, "There's more?!"

"Yes…All the way till 15," he groaned. Hana looked up at him curiously before becoming more interested in trying to put her foot in her mouth. Ayame looked through the others chuckling and giggling lovingly.

"You look so cute Heine," Ayame began, "These are my photos." Ayame said holding it out to him. Heine sat down next to her taking the photos. The little girl sat on her father's lap looking at the photos in front of her. Heine kissed the little girl softly causing her to gurgle before smiling.

"My my, look at Mommy Hana. Look at Mommy," Heine cooed pointing at his younger wife. Hana was too interested in the button on Heine's shirt to look at her mother's photo.

"You know the day that my mission is right?" Ayame said softly placing the photos on her lap softly.

"No. Oh Turtle Dove I planned a special Valentine's dinner for us at your favorite restaurant," Heine responded. Ayame gasped softly before looking down weakly.

"My mission is on Valentine's Day," Ayame sighed.

"What?! How could they?!" Heine snapped causing his daughter to look up at him with an uncertain face. Heine looked at her before calming down.

"Yes…That's why I'm trying to spend so much time with you guys," Ayane said softly.

"Well that's next week," Heine thought with a sigh.

"Heine…I want to shoot one final video for Hana," Ayame sighed.

"Alright. I'll get the camera. Come on sweet pea," Heine cooed kissing his daughter softly. He kissed the little girl sweetly before taking her upstairs. He took the camera off the charger before coming back downstairs. She was sitting down on the couch looking at her hands.

"Heine, bring me Hana," Ayame muttered.

"Alright," Heine said placing Hana on her lap.

"I'm ready," Ayame said softly she gulped gently as Heine turned on the camera.

"3, 2, 1," Heine whispered.

"Hello Hana. If you see this video then you know that I've died in the war. I hope you're 18 right now little sweet pea. I'm creating this video to show you that I will always love you and that you were loved by your mother," Ayame said before beginning to cry.

"Honey do you want me to turn it off?" Heine asked but Ayame only shook her head.

"Hana, I just wanted to tell you that you're a great girl. I also want to show you that your mother was able to hold you and to kiss you and to hug you. I want to show you that you have always been loved by your mother. In a week I'm going to be sent on a dangerous mission which may have contributed to my death unfortunately. I love you my little sweet pea and I love your father. If he decides to remarry don't be upset with him, okay? Just know that we were always in love and that we always love you. Good bye my dearest and only daughter. I love you," Ayame cried before kissing the little girl on top of her head. Heine panned onto Hana's happy face showing the little girl's toothless smile. Heine turned off the camera before going to console his wife.

"You're not going to die," Heine cooed before kissing her gently.

"Please tell me again," Ayame cried as Hana squealed softly hugging her father.

"Hey there little one," Heine chuckled as she tried to use his shirt to stand up on Ayame's lap.

"I see so much of you in her Heine," Ayame whispered before allowing her to stand on her lap. With Ayame's help of course. The little girl was happy to stretch her legs and to jump up and down.

---

"I guess Ayame knew that she was going to die…Which I don't want to admit. I know she's not dead. At least I don't want her to be. She was wonderful…she really was. She was gentle and loving and a great dancer. Ayame was the best woman to me ever. I will always love her…but I'm also glad that she's with Matthias," Heine sighed weakly.

"Heine, maybe she isn't dead," Athrun suggested.

"But, I wonder where she is? I know she can't be at our home. And my mother and father would rat her out," Heine sighed.

"How's your daughter?" Athrun asked curiously as Heine sat up straight.

"She's great. I heard she's beginning to crawl really well now. I…I get to see her tomorrow. Do you want to come?" Heine asked.

"Oh…You wouldn't mind?" Athrun asked. He was curious to see Ayame's and Heine's little baby.

"No not at all. She doesn't like to be put down though. If you do just distract her with a toy and she'll eventually forget about the whole thing," Heine chuckled softly. He thought of his little girl's smile before placing down his drink.

---

"Ayame…You're testing a new mobile suit right?" Heine asked as he fed their baby.

"Yeah…It's suppose to be some aquatic Z.A.K.U." Ayame sighed since tomorrow would be the day they would leave for Earth.

"I don't understand then…why is the survival rate 20%" Heine asked as Ayame pushed the bottle forward so she would get less air.

"It's being battle tested. Heine is that the formula or the breast milk?" Ayame asked.

"There's a difference?" Heine countered bewildered at the thought.

"Yes Heine. There IS a difference," Ayame answered.

"Well what's the difference?" Heine asked acting a little like an idiot. Ayame glared at him as Hana pushed the bottle away.

"Think about it Heine," Ayame snapped as she sat their daughter up.

"I guess that was the WRONG question," Heine chuckled. Heine tickled Hana gently causing her to squeal.

"babababa," she babbled.

"Babababa! To you too!" Ayame cooed nuzzling her little girl.

"Ayame…Do you want to do anything special today? Since this is our last night here," Heine whispered trying to keep their sexual lives away from their daughter.

"Like what?" she purred looking at a clock which read 8:45pm. Ayame and Heine looked down at their daughter seeing that she becoming PRETTY tired…a trait she had picked up from her mother.

"I'll take her…And you…you do whatever you normally do," Heine suggested with a hesitant chuckle.

"Roger that," Ayame purred brushing his neck softly with a finger.

"Come on little lady…time to get you ready for bed," Heine cooed taking her upstairs. He changed the little girl's diaper and her clothes so she could sleep peacefully. He sang to her softly before she fell asleep. He left the room before heading back downstairs. Oddly he found Ayame at the Piano that they owned. Heine had played for her a couple of times but he never knew that she could play. He never enjoyed playing the Piano so he rarely played it.

"Hello Heine. It seems like you found something new about me," Ayame giggled as he looked her up and down. Like normal Ayame was wearing sexy lingerie but it was odd to see her play.

"You wanna know something?" Heine asked laughing softly.

"Sure turtle dove," Ayame answered as he kissed her neck gently.

"You're SUPER Asian," he chuckled trying to hit on the stereotype.

"Shut up…you love beer and bratwurst," Ayame spat as she removed herself from the Piano before leading Heine upstairs by the collar.

"Oh aren't you clever," Heine said sarcastically as she forced him into their room and then on to their bed.

"Oh and aren't you SOOOOO whipped!" Ayame giggled before she let him take over.

---

"For once…I was the distracted one. I tried to concentrate but the only thing I could think about was Ayame and her mission the next day," Heine sighed.

---

So like I said a couple chapters back…there IS a sequel to this story called _Looking Forward. _I'm also creating a new story called _Lost Memories _another Gundam Seed Fic and it's also a tragedy…It has somewhat of a happy ending. _Lost Memories _is a remake of _Amarante Takahashi the Flower that Never Fades _which I'll probably keep up for background info.

See Ya Next time where the couple will be on Earth!


	32. Chapter 32

Never Look Back Chapter 32

---

"Hmpf…They even had it custom painted," Ayame muttered with hints of anger. Heine looked down at her quickly before smiling to change the mood.

"Well it looks pretty secure," Heine said soothingly.

"How did I get into this?" Ayame asked with a quiet sigh. She hated this feeling…Everything was going wrong ever since she had joined FAITH.

"I wasn't you Turtle Dove. Also it wasn't your brother," Heine whispered into her ear.

Ayame gasped, "Heine." She looked into his eyes terrified at his defiance towards Z.A.F.T. She had never thought her husband would say anything like that. He only smiled back at her innocently before kissing her soft forehead.

"I think something else is going on Honey. I think it's time for you to talk to your soldiers?" Heine suggested as they left the hangar. They entered an elevator which had a couple soldiers in it.

"Wow…You're Heine Westenfluss!" one of the soldiers began in a shocked manner, "I've watched you order around your team in battle. It's amazing! You and your green Z.A.K.U!"

"No no no. That's this little missy right here. Meet Ayame Westenfluss," Heine answered looking down at Ayame. He placed his arms around her tightly for support.

"What? Oh you're just being modest! I know that you're the pilot of the green Z.A.K.U!" The soldier said again.

"No, my wife is the pilot. My Z.A.K.U. is orange. Remember for us the two of us the color of our hair tells you which color Z.A.K.U. we pilot," Heine answered.

"Wow…you're a great pilot," the soldier congratulated before Heine and Ayame left the elevator.

"Thank you," she bellowed as she allowed Heine to lead her away. Opening the door to the briefing room, the soldiers inside stood up and saluted. Heine waited inside the door as she walked to the center of the room.

"At ease," she said softly. _Wow she looks horrible…poor Ayame, _Robin thought.

"What happened?" Robin asked.

"The Ayame Westenfluss team is being disbanded as of right now. As of right now my loyalty towards Z.A.F.T. is going to be tested in the upcoming battle. I'm sorry to leave you in such an unsettling state. I was glad to be your commander. You are all great soldiers and once again I'm sorry to have to leave you," Ayame said with a bow.

"Ma'am we still believe in you. We'll follow you where ever you go," Baxton said standing up with a salute. The other soldiers stood up and saluted as well causing Ayame to tear up.

"No…You guys…Please don't do this," Ayame said above a whisper.

"Ma'am, we have heard about the hearing. We will stand by you Ma'am. You haven't done anything wrong," Robin answered.

"STOP! Please Stop! I have to do this," Ayame cried before falling to the floor. Heine looked at her sorrowfully before joining her on the floor.

"I want to go back to Hana," she whispered to him softly. Surprising all of the soldier the chairman entered the room. Every one saluted as he made a beeline to where Ayame and Heine were standing.

"Ayame, the council members and I have created a bargain for you. You don't have to go on this mission as long as you give up the FAITH badge, your status of being a red, agreeing that you knew that Mamoru was going to betray Z.A.F.T. and that you were conspiring to betray Z.A.F.T. with him," Chairman Durandal announced.

"I'm sorry sir but I will not plead to something that I haven't done. I will take this mission," Ayame answered almost harshly.

"Alright Ayame, your mission will proceed at 1400 hours," the Chairman snapped unhappy with her answer. He left the room as quickly as he came in.

"Sorry Heine…It looks like I might not come back," Ayame said quietly falling to the ground quickly. _I'll never see my daughter again! Hana needs her mother and Heine needs me. Please…I want this Z.A.K.U. will keep me safe, _Ayame thought.

"You're coming back Ayame. I know you will," Heine said before looking at the clock. It was 1258 hours and he knew that Ayame needed to start suiting up and begin her pre-mobile suit check.

"We still believe in you, Ma'am," Baxton muttered as Heine and Ayame left. Ayame sighed as they went to the locker room. The ship was small so there wasn't a separate room for women.

"Ayame…Why didn't you say yes?" Heine asked as they entered the empty room.

"That's what they want me to say. I'm no coward…Sure I know I might not be able to see Hana…or you…or my family ever again. I didn't even know about what my brother was doing. I'm protecting my honor…My honor is precious to me…it's very much apart of me just like my family is apart of me," Ayame sighed.

"I'm glad that you didn't agree," Heine said softly helping his wife into her flight suit. He hooked his chained ring around her neck before kissing her softly.

"I want to live long enough to hear Hana say Mom," Ayame said her voice quivering above a whisper.

---

"Those words haunt me everyday. Words that will never be uttered to her face. Words that will only be uttered at her gravestone," Heine said weakly. Only three months ago this happened to Ayame. Three months ago he was happy…_they _were happy. He had saved her from an abusive relationship four years prior and now she was dead. He knew that she was tormented by what happened all those years ago even though she never showed it to him.

"Sir…When was the last time…the last time you went to go see her," Athrun asked with a soft gulp.

"Never…I've never been given the time to go. I want to go. I really do. My daughter has been there. At the moment it's just a gravestone…her body isn't there. I hope by the time I get out of the service…we can put her body to rest," Heine sighed.

---

"Wait! Don't let her launch yet!" Heine said hurrying to the leaving mobile suit.

"Woah buddy. You're going to have to stay here," a mechanic said holding onto Heine.

"Please stop her. I have to tell her I love her! I forgot to tell her! Please stop her, please!" Heine pleaded.

"No can do buddy," the mechanic said.

"You don't understand! I have to tell her I love her! It's like our good luck charm. Please stop her!" Heine pleaded once more.

"I'm sorry but I can't do it," the mechanic answered. Heine ran to his mobile suit boarding it quickly and turning it on.

"Come on. I need to tell Ayame I love her!" Heine said frustrated. At the launch pad Ayame sighed softly feeling as if she had forgotten something.

"Ayame Westenfluss…launching," she said softly before jumping into the water. She surveyed her surroundings before heading towards the point where the enemy mobile suits would be attacking. On the bridge word had passed around that Heine was trying to launch.

"My. Chairman, should we let him launch?" the operator asked.

"No not yet. If he launches, shoot him down," the chairman answered. Surprised at what he said Commander Hawkins looked over at his superior and ruler of the PLANTs.

"Yes sir. I'll relay the information to him," the operator answered.

---

"I played the waiting game…for the longest time I waited. The worst thing I did was turn on the com system. Listening to her cry out and-and be in pain. I hated that…It made me hate the chairman slightly. I left the hangar anyway," Heine explained.

---

"That's it! I'm leaving!" Heine snapped leaving the ship.

"Mr. Chairman should we still shoot him down?" the operator asked watching the mobile suit fly into the sky.

"No…I want that Z.A.K.U. back," the Chairman answered.

---

"Obviously for disobeying orders I received a court marshal but oddly and what angered me was that the Chairman pardoned me. What I did was major…Ayame's was minor…why didn't he pardon her?" Heine asked.

"He pardoned you?!" Athrun asked surprised.

"Yes…he did. I still wished he didn't," Heine sighed.

---

Ayame began to panic as her crippled mobile suit began to fall into the depths of the ocean. The cracked cockpit began to fill with water along with her uniform and helmet. _Please someone save me…_she thought as the water in her helmet rose above her nose. Ayame's arms were pinned down so she couldn't free herself. She held her breath as she continued to fall down into the abyss. Minutes passed and she wasn't able to hold her breath any longer…thus passing out.

"Ayame! Come on breathe!" she heard someone call out. She could see her body and Heine trying to revive her. _I am! Heine I'm here! _she thought she cried out. She saw her pale blue face and Heine worried one before feeling an odd sensation. It felt as if she being pulled back into her body. Next thing she knew was that her eyes were open and Heine was relieved.

"Ayame," Heine said with a deep sigh of relief he hugged her tightly. She let out a deep shriek of pain causing Heine to really access her injuries. She could feel that there was still some water in her lungs but her body was in so much pain.

"A-Am I st-still in-t-tact?" she asked weakly.

"Yes you are. You're still intact. You're just very injured," Heine said trying to sooth her. He didn't want to tell her the extent of her injuries. Her stomach was bleeding heavily and it was deep in color. He knew that this was serious. What had taken the medics so long. She was going to bleed to death if they didn't arrive. Her legs were most likely broken or fractured and Heine probably helped tear a muscle since he pulled her out of the cockpit harshly.

"Heine," she whispered as the medics came to her.

"Everything will be alright," Heine whispered back kissing her weak and injured palm.

---

Heine wasn't able to stay inside the room where they were holding her. He was only able to look on from a glass window. Surprisingly his ring stayed intact and now was back in it's rightful place on his finger. He had his left hand on the window as he watched his wife sleep. She wasn't dead…at least, at least not yet. He kept watching as her tired eyes opened slowly. It took a couple minutes for her eyes to adjust and for her to get back into reality. Eventually she looked over at her husband and with a sincere battered smile she stared back at him. Feebly she took her right hand and placed it right where Heine's left hand was against the window. The only difference was that her fingers had been inflamed with cuts and bruises. Heine smiled at her gingerly as tears began to run down his face.

---

I've been posting this for the last couple times but I've been writing a new story called _Lost Memories _which is a rewritten version of _Amarante Takahashi the Flower that Never Fades_. I might add it when I'm writing _Looking Forward._

**Remember to Read and REVIEW! Anyone can and it would be lovely to have the feedback!**


	33. Chapter 33

Never Look Back Chapter 33

---

"She developed some rare type of pneumonia from the water entering her flight suit. I wasn't able to hold her for the first couple of days she was in the infirmary. She looked so pale…even more pale then when she was in the hospital for the Yukio incident," Heine sighed.

---

"…………He-He-ine………" Ayame said above a whisper as he began to go through her hair slowly and as gently as he could.

"Yeah?" Heine asked coming closer to her lips to kiss her. She moved away letting out a cry of pain.

"N-No…Y-You. Kn-ow be-be-better," Ayame sounded. To make sure her pneumonia didn't get transferred to Heine, the doctor forbade them to kiss and to share drinks or anything else that could jeopardize Heine's health. Heine kissed her lips anyways with a small smile plastered on his face.

"You know I'm stupid," Heine chuckled placing his forehead on hers.

"N-No…you-you're not," Ayame whispered. Touching his face softly.

"I love you…I-I…I forgot to tell you," Heine said softly looking into her eyes.

"I……Knew th-that yo-you sa-said it…" Ayame said hoarsely.

"I didn't tell it to your face," Heine sighed.

"S-So'kay…Heine," Ayame said softly. Heine sat on her bed taking her hand gently. He continued to go through her hair as she coughed hoarsely. With a small groan she tossed her head back and forth when a nurse came in.

"Commander Heine Westenfluss! Get off her bed immediately!" the nurse scolded as she placed Ayame's food on a table.

"Ready to sit up?" Heine asked kissing the tip of her nose. Tenderly he wrapped his arms around her before helping her sit up. She cried out softly because of pain causing Heine to frown.

"She's on a strict liquid diet so don't sneak any food to her," she snapped before leaving. Heine had become used to the woman's rudeness so he just resumed his space on her bed before feeding her.

"You're like baby Hana except you don't fight and struggle," Heine laughed prompting Ayame to laugh only causing her to feel intense pain.

"D-Do'n t…ma-ke m-me la-augh," Ayame said in her hoarse voice.

---

"I was always getting scolded…Heine don't sit on the bed, Heine don't make me laugh, Heine don't kiss me, Heine don't give her solid food…nag nag nag!" Heine chuckled lightly.

"Heine, what type of pneumonia did Ayame develop?" Athrun asked curiously.

"I'm not really sure. All I knew was that it was some rare form. It was strong enough to kill a coordinator," Heine replied.

---

"She needs blood. I know you've been dying to give her blood Heine. Do you still want to do that?" the doctor asked. Heine had been "living" in the infirmary for the last five days and nothing would convince him to leave.

"Of course," Heine answered as the chairman walked in. Ayame began to shake violently as Gil approached them. Heine stood up and saluted while Ayame struggled to sit up. Heine quickly helped her back down to keep her from hurting herself. She was still shaking as the chairman looked over all of her papers and monitors.

"It looks like you're doing well," the chairman noted before putting the paperwork back down. He reached over to stroke her head gently but she pulled her head away. She didn't want to feel his cold touch ever again.

"Excuse me chairman, since she has pneumonia we don't want it to be spread to you. It's already in the early stages within Heine so please take precautions," the nurse said sweetly.

"Yes, that's very true. Heine you must take care of yourself as well," the chairman scolded.

"Yes sir. Since Ayame's life is teetering back and forward, I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep," Heine answered.

"He-Heine," Ayame whispered gathering his attention. He bent down over her face to listen to what she wanted to say.

"What is it Ma'am?" Heine asked since he was in the presence of their commander and since his wife was his superior.

"G-Go……re-rres," Ayame mumbled before falling asleep. She wasn't able to remain awake for long periods of time.

---

"Did you purposely get yourself sick?" Athrun asked as Heine's now bloodshot eyes looked into his. Athrun now noticed that Heine had been crying this whole time.

"Yes…I thought that if I was sick they would speed up the process of getting her over her pneumonia," Heine replied trying to dry the tears that were in his eyes.

---

One week later

---

"I love you," Heine whispered softly rubbing his now feverish forehead on hers.

"Yo-You're as si-sick as I am," Ayame said hoarsely.

"It's okay. I want you to get better. I love you my dearest Ayame," Heine chuckled as the doctor came into their room.

"Heine how many times do I have to tell you? Lie down!" the doctor snapped pulling him back to his bed.

"She was having one of her fear bouts again," Heine answered.

"Heine!" she cried out fearfully.

"Let me go to her…She's still afraid," whispered Heine.

"Not yet. We have some medicine for you. So far in the PLANTs it has been working great. We want to test it on you before testing it on your wife," the doctor replied.

"Alright," Heine answered allowing the man to pump the liquid into his arm. _He's willing to do anything for his wife. I hope this is able to cure her. I also hope I can go through with this Mamoru, _the doctor thought.

"There we are," the doctor answered.

"Ayame needs her glasses," Heine muttered trying to get a hold of her.

"With how much she sleeps, her glasses are unnecessary at the moment," the doctor replied.

"Alright…so how long will we need to wait?" Heine asked.

"A couple of days," the doctor soothed.

"Heine," she cried out again. The doctor chuckled to himself before leaving the room.

"Don't worry Ayame. I'm still here. I know you can't see me but I'm here," Heine coaxed.

---

"The medicine worked like a charm and they gave it to Ayame," Heine confirmed before beginning to break down, "She was getting better…and then she died. I don't know how! She was speaking well and she could walk around for about ten minutes."

---

"The doctor is allowing me to take you above deck for a little while," Heine soothed picking up the fragile woman. She let out a small cry of pain as he stop the iv and disconnected it from her arm. Cautiously he took her out of the infirmary before walking down the halls that were once filled with their cheer and laughter. Halls that were empty and cold. Heine continued on their quest taking her above deck. He held onto her tightly as the wind blew through her hair.

"Remember…on our honeymoon we used to always watch the sunset together. Now we watch it now and remind us of good times," Heine said weakly as she looked into the setting sun.

"I love you…And I love sunset watch- with you," Ayame muttered before lying her head back down on his shoulder. Heine continued to watch the sunset rubbing her shoulders gently. By the time the sun was fully set Ayame was asleep and he decided that it was time to take her back down to the infirmary.

---

Two Days Later

---

"Hein-e," Ayame called. Her glasses were for once on her face since she was reading an article.

"Yes?" Heine asked before noticing her feebleness. He took her in his arms sitting on her bed with her.

"Take my glasses off. I want to see you with my natural vision," Ayame answered falling into Heine's grasp. Unsure what she meant, Heine obeyed as she placed her hand on his cheek. Tears were forming in her eyes causing Heine to get anxious.

"Ayame what is all this about," Heine asked suspiciously. He placed a hand on her belly before noticing the blood on her clothing and trickling down her forehead. She also had a head injury that Heine never wanted to think about. Which had gone unchecked for weeks.

"Just relax Ayame. Everything will be alright. We'll stop the bleeding…and…and we'll get you back on track," Heine whispered petting Ayame's head with a shaking hand.

"Heine…do-don't tr-try to co-cover it…I'm dy-dying," Ayame muttered as blood trickled into her eyes.

"No your not! Don't give up on me! What about Hana! What about Hana! Don't lose faith!" Heine cried squeezing her hand tightly.

"FA-FAITH…Tha-That wa-was a j-joke," Ayame chuckled suffering from a series of chills.

"Shhhhh, you're fine! We can stop this!" Heine coaxed as his own tears began to develop.

"Yo-You kno- what m-my big-gest fear is?" Ayame asked looking into his fearful eyes.

"What?" Heine asked in a weak voice. He kissed her cheeks and lips softly.

"I fe-feared dy-dy-dy-dying alone…I-in a co-cockpit a-all alone…I love you…an-and Hana…b-but no-now I do-don't ha-have to…It-It's always……been a dr-dream o-of m-mine to d-ie in yo-your arms," Ayame chuckled before coughing.

"Stay with me! Stay with me Ayame!" Heine cried out as tears began to stream down his face.

"I-I-I love you," Ayame said with a gentle smile before her eyes began to lose their sparkle and everything Heine saw in them, her hopes, her dreams, her happiness, her joy, and most of all her love.

"Wake up," Heine said softly shaking the woman. "Wake up!" He let out a loud cry as the doctor rushed in.

"NOOOOO!!! YOU PROMISED THAT SHE WOULDN'T DIE!" Heine cried out. Looking down at her Heine saw that she died with a small on his face causing him to sob out loud.

---

"And n-now I-I've t-told you how sh-she lived an-and ho-how sh-she died," Heine stammered.

"I think it's time for us to go. I'll pay for your drinks," Athrun suggested.

"Oh no I couldn't do that! Let me pay," Heine answered trying to remain in a lighter mood even though he couldn't.

"I invited you out," Athrun answered paying for the drinks. When getting back to the base Heine went immediately to bed he couldn't feel anything anymore. All his pain had died along with Ayame. He had so much agony in his heart.

---

Early in the morning Heine woke up with a jolt. He had a horrible nightmare in which Ayame had died a violent death. Something felt warm next to him making him believe that it was his wife.

"Ayame I just had a horrible dream that you…died," Heine said before remembering that Ayame was really dead. He touched the spot where she should have been before wiping away a couple of tears.

"I think I'm ready to say good bye now…Ayame, good bye. I will always love you…and eventually I will be able to join you. I promise you I will take care of Hana personally," Heine said as he walked to a window.


	34. Chapter 34

Never Look Back Chapter 34 ~Final Chapter~

---

There will be an epilogue too.

---

"Sorry for inviting you here on such short notice," the chairman announced getting up from his chair to shake Heine's hand.

"Oh no, it's quite alright," Heine replied reaching out to shake it. He shook it politely before receiving a small shock.

_Flashback_

"_Something's wrong. The chairman's touch…it was really cold. Heine, something's going on with the chairman. I'm not sure what but he's not the same anymore. Heine I'm worried. I don't like this," Ayame answered_

_End Flashback_

His touch did feel surprisingly cold, it was an eerie feeling. Heine removed his hand quickly placing it at his side.

"Is there something wrong Heine?" the Chairman asked warmly.

"No, I received a small shock when we shook hands," Heine replied.

"Do you know why I called you here?" Gil asked quietly. _For some reason…I'm getting this feeling that he is not the same anymore. Maybe Ayame was on to something, _Heine thought as the chairman walked over to the window in his make-shift office.

"No sir," Heine answered firmly.

"You're Hana's last living parent and I'm sorry that you lost Ayame. I guess she wasn't a spy after all," he said normally. Anger began to well up inside Heine…the chairman KNEW that she wasn't a spy. He KNEW that she was loyal to Z.A.F.T. He KNEW that she knew nothing about what he was doing. The chairman beckoned him to the window not knowing about Heine's anger.

"Yes sir," Heine grumbled.

"It's a terrible waste of a soldier. She had a lot of potential…She fought well, and she was a great commander. Such a waste of talent," the chairman said walking away from the window. Uncharacteristically Heine grabbed the chairman's collar staring into his cold and amused golden eyes. The soldiers on guard pointed their guns at Heine but the chairman waved them away.

"You have every right to be mad with me. I was the one who sent her to her death so I understand your pain," the chairman coaxed as Heine shamefully pulled his hand away.

"I'm not very sure what came over me sir," Heine mumbled.

"It's alright. Now about you…Mamoru's research provided us with a way of reviving the dead. And since you're Hana's last parent I was wondering if you wanted to participate in this program," the chairman asked.

"Is there anything else?" Heine asked suspiciously.

"Well if you die. We would be able to revive you so your daughter wouldn't suffer the lost of BOTH parents. Unfortunately since Ayame died so suddenly that we couldn't revive her. In case you did die, we would revive you…BUT you must remain loyal to Z.A.F.T. and once the war is over you can go home to your daughter. Also if I ever need your services you must come immediately," The chairman replied. Heine thought it over for about 15 minutes. If he did die he would be able to go back to Hana but then again he wouldn't be able to join Ayame and Matthias. If he was revived there would be no bitter custody battle over Hana.

"What do I have to do?" Heine asked giving in to the chairman's proposition.

"We need blood samples and some of your hair," the chairman replied.

"Will do sir," Heine said saluting before leaving the room.

"Why didn't you tell him the truth?" a doctor asked coming out of the shadows. He would be the one to revive him along with all the other soldiers.

"Like in chess there are pawns in the game of war," the chairman answered.

---

"There is my baby," Heine cooed softly. It had been two months since he's seen her. The woman holding her dumped the girl into his arms before leaving the room. She never said anything to him. She just placed Hana in his arms and she left. Heine smiled at his daughter before kissing her soft cheeks. She laughed loudly before placing her hand on his cheek.

"Hey there my little girl. Hi Hana! What's my name?" Heine cooed softly.

"Dada!" Hana cheered as Heine placed her down on a soft blanket before taking a set of clothes out from under his uniform. The clothes had small yellow and pink paw prints all around the dress in a light blue background. Ayame had bought it when they were in the spaceport to earth. He changed Hana's clothes before hearing a knock on the door.

"Enter," Heine replied sitting Hana up. It was Athrun which Heine smiled to.

"I hope I'm not intruding," Athrun said hesitantly.

"No you're not. This is my daughter, her name is Hana," Heine soothed as Hana shyly hid her head in his shoulder. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Oh, do you think it's alright?" Athrun asked.

"Yeah," Heine replied holding out the little girl. Athrun took the small girl carefully as Heine began to unpack her toys.

"Dada!" Hana called out looking for him.

"He's over there," Athrun said pointing at him. The little girl followed his finger, smiled and turned her attention back to Athrun. She felt his uniform and traced the FAITH symbol before trying to grab it.

"Hana! Don't do that," Heine scolded causing the little girl to let go. Heine began to set up a tower of blocks before placing his daughter on the ground. He knocked it down causing Hana to stare at curiously before laughing.

"Hehehe!" she cried playfully as Athrun joined the family on the floor.

"You know…I can't imagine you as a father," Athrun stated.

"Many people can't. You were so surprised that we had a daughter," Heine admitted before building the tower again. He knocked it down once more getting the same result. Heine laughed as well as Hana began to build the tower herself. Athrun smiled at the happiness that the family shared but then remember the pain in Heine's heart about losing Ayame.

"Heine. She's adorable," Athrun said softly rubbing the girl's head. She squealed lovingly before grabbing Athrun's hand. Heine chuckled as she pulled and prodded it with her tiny hands. She released it before crawling to her father.

"Da-da," she muttered trying to use her legs to stand up.

"Woah little lady, you've gotten this far already?" Heine asked holding her little hands before helping her to her feet. He propped himself up on his knees before leading her forward very carefully. Athrun continued to watch them smiling gently. After last night it was a good thing to see Heine so happy.

"Babababa," she muttered before becoming more interested in Heine's belt then walking. Heine chuckled softly taking off the belt and handing it to her. She began to twist and bend the belt before finally putting part of it in her mouth.

"That's a belt Hana. Can you say belt?" Heine cooed going through her green hair. She looked up at him curiously but decided the belt was more interesting. He continued to play with his little girl until she tired herself out. Heine held her lovingly kissing her face gently.

"Ayame must have really missed her," Athrun whispered sadly.

"Yeah. Good night little Peapod," Heine whispered before nuzzling his daughter. The woman from before entered the room loudly plucking the girl from Heine's arms. Hana woke up quickly before looking at her father.

"DADA!" she cried as tears streamed down her face.

"What are you doing?" Heine demanded going over to the woman. He tried to reach for Hana but the woman pulled the girl away.

"I'm taking her. You were given 2 hours and it's been two hours," the woman snapped.

"You're scaring her!" Heine said taking her back. The girl began to calm down as Heine kissed her cheeks softly and bounce her.

"Give the girl to me. You have other things to do besides brainwash her," the woman said trying to grab her.

"Not yet. Can I at least say good bye?" Heine asked softly.

"You have 5 minutes," the lady muttered angrily.

Heine looked into her eyes sincerely, "I love you Hana. Your mother and your big brother do too. I will do everything in my power to come back to you. Whenever I have time I will come and see you. I love you very much and I will miss you. Be a good girl for Dada alright?" He kissed her nose softly handing the girl to the woman.

"DADA!" she cried out reaching for him. Heine looked down shamefully as the girl continued to cry out before the lady left. Athrun placed a hand on his shoulder causing Heine to perk up and gave him a smile.

"Two hours isn't long enough," Heine said softly.

---

(A/N: I suck at fight scenes. If someone wants to write one based on ep. 23. Then that's fine for me.)

Heine got into his cockpit turning on his mobile suit. He looked up at the picture of Ayame and Hana before touching it. They were both smiling which was something that Heine missed.

"I love you," he muttered before proceeding to the catapult. "Heine Westenfluss, G.O.U.F. launching." His mobile suit burst from the hangar into the awaiting battlefield. Heine shook away any thoughts about his wife and his daughter. _There's no looking back now. I have to look to the brighter future for Hana, _he thought as he used his whip to destroy a mobile suit. The fight only became more confusing when the Freedom joined the fight. The Freedom destroyed his medium ranged weapon and he moved in for a counter attack. Unknown to him the GAIA which he had been fighting previously was also on the counter attack. It cut through the G.O.U.F. like butter. Pain surged through his body as Heine gasped at the pain. His body arched backwards and his eyes fixated on the now burning picture of Ayame and Hana. Their smiles would be the last thing he would remember.

---

The End of Chapters…One Epilogue and a Short sequel. I'm trying to decide what I want to post next. Either the sequel or a new story.


	35. Epilogue

Never Look Back Epilogue

---

So the end to _Never Look Back _

---

Breathe in, Breathe out. Laying in a hospital bed on board the _Eternal _was a woman. A woman in suspended animation for several months. Her body was waiting for someone to wake her.

"We've been waiting for you Mr. Honda," Lacus said gently. Kira stood next to her curious to see the woman awaken.

"No not for me…Where's Athrun?" Mr. Honda replied.

"Athrun? Why? I don't think he knows her," Lacus replied. With a page to Athrun he was there in a matter of moments.

"You called Lacus?" Athrun asked entering the room. He was surprised to see the unfamiliar man on board the ship.

"Athrun meet Mr. Honda he has been one of the ship's doctors for a long time. Most of the time he's out there trying to protect his sister from harm which is the reason why he's not seen very often," Lacus replied.

"Please to meet you," Mr. Honda said warmly shaking Athrun's hand. _Honda…why does that name sound so familiar, _Athrun asked himself.

"Now to what we summoned you here for," Lacus replied as Mr. Honda went to a few machines turning a couple of switches allowing a beige color liquid flow into the woman's arm. It was hard to see who it was but all Athrun could see was green hair. Within 5 minutes the woman in suspended animation was completely awake. She looked around slowly before sitting up quickly. She ripped the mask off her face frightened at everything in front of her.

"Aya-chan! Calm down!" Mr. Honda cried holding her still. It took another 15 minutes for her to calm down.

"What's your name ma'am?" Lacus asked as the green haired woman blinked often due to the bright lights.

"My name?" she said hoarsely.

"Yes, your name," Lacus replied.

"Westenfluss Ayame," she began, "Nii-san, where am I? I'm suppose to be dead…aren't I?" She looked down at her hands seeing that she was very much alive. A sickening feeling went through her stomach as she thought about her daughter.

"No…you never died. Just in suspended animation," Mr. Honda aka Mamoru responded.

"A-Ayame," Athrun said weakly.

"How do you know my name?!" Ayame asked in a demanding tone. Everything was different…and where was Heine? Why wasn't Heine here to greet her?

"H-Heine and I were good friends," Athrun replied.

"Where is Heine?!" Ayame demanded looking at her saddened friends. A lot had happened during those months that she wasn't awake.

"I'll tell her," Athrun muttered to his friends and colleagues. They left with a nod as Athrun sat down on the bed next to her.

"Where's Heine?" Ayame asked softly as tears came to her eyes. She already knew the answer…she didn't want it to be true.

"Heine…died three months after you did," Athrun said taking her hand.

"NOOO! He wouldn't die so easily!" Ayame cried as he took her into his arms.

"I know…I know…Ayame…I'm telling you the truth," Athrun replied. She sobbed for awhile before thinking about her young daughter again.

"Where's my daughter?" Ayame asked quietly.

"She's here…I play with her all the time," Athrun answered.

"Heine…It can't be…huh….his ring?! Where is it?!" Ayame gasped.

"Heine had them," Athrun replied sadly. Her eyes filled with tears once again letting out a sob of desperation.

---

Three Days later

---

"So they picked up the wreckage of Heine's machine. And by these pictures it seems like they have rebuilt it. All it needs now is a paint job," Mamoru said talking with a soldier. Ayame listened intently believing that the soldier knew about Heine's whereabouts.

"Yeah…It also seems like they used your old research," the soldier replied.

"You're kidding?!" Mamoru snapped placing his hands down on the desk.

"Yeah in Februarius 4," the soldier replied. Ayame heard all that she wanted. She wanted his mobile suit.

---

"Ms. Clyne one of the shuttles has left the _Eternal_," Meyrin informed.

"What? Who's inside it?" Waltfeld demanded. Meyrin listened to what the crew had to say.

"They say that Ayame was the pilot," Meyrin replied.

"That girl is ruling by her emotions. Reminds me of Amarante," Waltfeld said under his breath. Send a soldier after her but don't stop her.

---

"This is the place…I'll get it in no time," Ayame muttered giving the soldier at the gate her old ID. Once on base she searched the base for the machine. It took awhile but she grinned at her finding. It was Heine's…the turtle dove Ayame painted on it was still there. The replacement parts for the unit weren't painted yet which also made her smile. She snuck into the hangar before being stopped by a soldier.

"These are restricted grounds. You must leave," he demanded. Amarante responded by taking out a gun and shooting him in the shoulder. She would die trying to take it, if she had to. With that warning shot she ran off to get inside the cockpit. Gun bullets flew by her as she continued her race. She fired back making sure that she didn't kill anyone. She smiled lovingly getting into Heine's machine. There was no lock on the OS and Heine told her his code anyways. She broke through the hangar using the weapons available to make her escape.

---

"YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU TO REMAIN ON THE ETERNAL!" Mamoru snapped at his sister.

"Why?! This is the only bit of Heine that I have!" Ayame cried.

"I told you to wait…look…I was involved in some experiments that I'm not proud of. One was to bring soldiers back…Yet, the top brass wanted to bring back all the ones who cause destruction," Mamoru sighed.

"And what do you mean?" Ayame asked.

"I TOLD YOU TO WAIT BECAUSE WE WERE GOING TO RESCUE HEINE!!!!" Mamoru screamed. Ayame gasped softly knowing that she did wrong. Also that this was her biggest fault. Her big brother was so angry to.

"So Heine's alive?" Ayame asked.

"Yes and if only you listened to me! We were going to get him! Why won't you listen Ayame. You're so stubborn and hard headed," Mamoru accused.

"I have a new ace name…It's Phantom…" Ayame said before leaving the room. She walked back to the room where she was assigned eager to see her daughter.

"Mama," Hana muttered stretching her arms out to her. Ayame smiled kindly picking up the girl. She loved the girl, and Hana loved her.

"Hi Hana," she cooed.

"Dada?" Hana asked.

"Dada's not here," Ayame sighed. She looked to the upward corner of the room. Before continuing to play with her daughter. She was now approaching her first birthday. Ayame wanted Heine to be there for it. For now she would wait…Patience…something she used to have.


End file.
